


Batfam/Avengers Crossover

by PepperSoniRoni



Category: Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers Meet The Batfam, Batbrothers (DCU), Birdflash and joyfire are implied/referenced, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Crossover, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Gen, Good Parent Selina Kyle, Happy Batfamily (DCU), I bleeped it out though. Just to be safe, I did what I wanted, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It works though!, MCU/Batfam crossover, canon? What's canon?, no beta we die like robins, rated T for Jason's language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24448579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperSoniRoni/pseuds/PepperSoniRoni
Summary: The Avengers find themselves in an alternate universe where none of them exist. Instead, there is a different group of heroes: The Justice League. They decide to work together to get the Avengers home. But not not everything is instantaneous, so the Avengers need a place to stay. The only place available is Wayne Manor.Que Batfamily shenanigans!This is a multi-chapter fanfic, with some one shots that go along with the plot thrown in.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Cassandra Cain, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Natasha Romanov & Damian Wayne, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Peter Parker & Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 275
Kudos: 920





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything with the Avengers - especially a deaf!clint - and the Batfam, so I apologize if anything is ooc. Constructive criticism is appreciated!
> 
> This is mainly comic DCU with Movie Avengers (Set after the first avengers movie, plus Spiderman, cause I can ;-)

Crack! Bang! There was a flash of blindingly bright light, followed by a huge explosion.

"Wha- where are we?"

Tony Stark looked over to Peter who had been the first to speak. Crap, the kid had come here too. But wherever _here_ was, he did not know. 

Tony, Steve, Hulk, Thor, Clint, Peter, and Natasha stood in a loose clump at the center of a smoking crater. The sky was cloudy and dark, and they appeared to be at least five miles outside of a big city, judging from the buildings in the distance. There was also a highway filled with streaming cars a couple of miles to Tony’s right.

“This isn’t right,” He muttered, opening his faceplate. Where were the sunny tropical trees that housed the compound of Anagnorisis - weird name, he knew - who was some D-list villain who thought some slightly advanced tech made them a world-conqueror. But Tony was beginning to think that those guns were a bit stranger and more advanced than he had previously believed.

“Tell me about it,” replied Steve. “Any idea where we are? Was it some sort of teleportation gun that was shot at us? This looks nothing like the Amazon.”

Before anyone could speak, Tony received a notification. Multiple incoming objects were approaching, _fast_ . With the exception of the second fastest, they seemed to be airborne. “Multiple incomings, perhaps hostile. Most are flying. And they aren’t missiles. I think _people_? But -”

“Who are you?”

Suddenly the first object arrived, and Stark was right. It was a black haired man in a blue skin tight suit with a red “S” on it and a flowing red cape. It would look ridiculous if he wasn’t glaring daggers at the group while _flying_.

He was joined almost immediately by another man, this time wearing an all red bodysuit with a lightning bolt on the chest and cowl. He was not flying though. He stopped in front of them swinging his arms as lightning dissipated. He had run there.

Next came a woman dressed in the colors of the american flag, with golden cuffs, tiara, and lasso by her side. She came with a man in a green, white, and black skin tight suit with some sort of symbol - perhaps a lantern? - on his chest. He also wore a green ring and black domino mask with white lenses on his face. They were both joined by another, a split second later. This was by far the strangest arrival. He was completely bald, with green skin and red eyes. He wore navy blue pants and cape, with only a red “X” over his chest. All three were floating.

“Who are you?” The blue and red man repeated.

Tony scoffed. Was this guy serious? “We’re the Avengers, obviously.”

The group shared a look. “Is that some new kind of villain group? I swear to all that is good and holy if I need to deal with another group who think they can rule the world, I. Will. Quit.” This time the man who spoke was the runner.

Steve replied, confusion clear on his face. “We’re not villains! We’re the Avengers; Earth’s mightiest heroes!”

Instead of coming to their senses, the strangely dressed newcomers _laughed_. 

“You do realize you are speaking to members of the Justice League?” The woman spoke, her lips pursed.

“The who now?”

“Be quiet Kid, we don’t know what we’re dealing with.” Tony spoke to Peter. He was getting more worried by the second. Something was seriously wrong. 

“Dealing with?” The green dressed man frowned, clearly suspicious of the Avengers. He started to fidget with his ring. “Well, since you don’t seem to know, let me enlighten you.” He gestured to each of his companions. “Superman, son of Krypton. Wonder Woman, Amazonian Princess. The Flash, fastest man alive. Martian Manhunter, well, a martian. And Me, Green Lantern. Member of the Green Lantern Core.”

Well, that explained everything. Not.

“We do not know you, strangers.” Thor spoke this time. “Perhaps you leave us be, our green friend over here gets frustrated easily.” He pointed to Hulk, who was breathing heavily.

The green man - martian, apparently - spoke for the first time. “Not until you tell us who you are and why you are in a smoking crater near _His_ city.”

“His?” Clint clearly did not like the way the martian spoke of this character. To be honest, Stark didn’t either.

This got the most surprised reactions from the five. They looked at each other, and Tony could have sworn there was a hint of fear in their faces.

“Oh, He is _so_ not going to like that.” Green Lantern said.

“Combined with the fact that we ditched Him.” The Flash cringed. Then looked worried again. “Yo, green grape, you okay.

The Hulk’s breathing was growing heavier, his face contorted into that of utter rage.

“Uh-oh,” Steve said.

“I . . . Not . . . GRAPE!” Hulk roared as he charged the The Flash who nimbly dodged. Superman went down to intercede, and just got punched by the Hulk. Though it did not seem to physically bother him, he was clearly angry.

Tony shut his face plate and moved forward, intending to stop the fight, but he only got attacked by the martian. Peter jumped forward to help, and soon everyone was fighting.

Thor was pitted against the Wonder Woman, and they seemed evenly matched. Black Widow was against The flash, and despite his incredible speed she seemed to be almost winning. Both Hawkeye and Captain America were battling Green Lantern.

No one seemed to have the upper hand, which worried Tony. These people were tough. If they couldn’t beat them . . . he didn’t know what would happen. 

Peter didn’t seem to share his worry though. He instead seemed to be having _fun._ Tony could tell the kid was smiling beneath his mask, and his body language screamed hyper and happy. He seemed to get that way whenever they fought together, and a small part of Tony was filled with a sense of parental pride.

The fight seemed endless, no one gaining traction. Until something incredible happened. Thor threw Mjolnir directly at his opponent, and instead of being knocked down like everyone else, she _caught the hammer._ Every Avenger - even the Hulk - immediately froze, catching the attention of the newcomers.

“This is a very well crafted weapon, though a bit clunky,” Wonder Woman said as she tossed the hammer from one hand to the other. She paused, seeing their reactions.

“You are worthy.” Thor spoke with disbelief and a tint of resignation in his voice.

“Pardon?” Superman spoke, his frown apparent.

“Only those worthy can lift Mjolnir - my hammer. She clearly can, which means that you are trustworthy.”

*****

Five minutes of somewhat confused conversation later, they had reached an uneasy truce. Neither spoke much at first, but they soon began to compare notes. Apparently They both believed themselves to be the protectors of Earth, which brought on a bout of argument before Peter stepped in.

“Woah hold on, calm down. Something is clearly up, so there’s no need to argue!”

Wonder Woman looked contemplative. “How old are you boy, you seem young.”

Peter bristled. “I’m 15, and I’ve been a superhero for a while now, so I’m not inexperienced!”

Green Lantern laughed. “That’s not what she met, kid. We aren’t going to tell you how old you need to be to fight crime. The amount of we work with, and some even younger than you . . .” He shook his head and laughed. Then he realised how he had sounded. “I mean, we don’t force them, it's up to each individual to make that choice for themselves. Well, with the mentor’s approval of course.”

Natasha furrowed her brows. “How young are some of these kids?” Tony knew she had a thing against child soldiers, so he wasn’t surprised she was disapproving.

Green Lantern looks to the Flash. “How old is Robin at this point? 9?”

Flash laughed. “Naw, that little devil is 11. He was very adamant on that fact when he threatened me with his katana.” He shook his head. 

Green Lantern laughed. “Yeah, most of the others are teenagers. Robin is the youngest, and I’d say most deadly, but Red Hood . . .”

“The Dark Knight really does have a problem,” Flash said.

His last comment made Green Lantern freeze. They both looked at each other then turned to Peter.

“Kid, stay away from The Dark Knight.” Green Lantern says.

“Yeah, if He sees you, there’s no way you’ll ever leave.”

“He’s the most dangerous man on earth,” Green Lantern adds.

“Guys, stop. You’re scaring him.” Superman looks disappointedly at the two heroes who Tony pegged as the trouble makers of the group. This idea was further cemented in Tony when they started laughing. Despite this, he decided to keep Peter as far away from this supposed Dark Knight as possible.

“Speak of the devil, he’s on his way.” Superman says this with a smile, then he cringes. “And we’re going to get an earful alright. Ten minutes ahead of him is a big deal apparently.”

In a moment. Tony got an alert that something was approaching. Fast. Soon he saw a large black military type armoured car fly down the highway from the city and off the road. It zoomed toward them.

It was a sight indeed to see the menacing black car swerve and expertly stop a few yards from the group. The top opened and a dark form shot straight up before landing in a kneeling position in front of them. The figure rose, and Tony got the first good look at him. He was a tall man with a broad chest and shoulders, dresses in complete black. There was a bat-like symbol on his chest, also in black. He wore a cape that flowed around menacingly. His face was covered by a cowl with pointed ears, like that of an owl, or perhaps a bat. The only part of his costume that was not black was the dark gold utility belt at his waist. Altogether, he was utterly frightening.

Tony took a step forward, effectively blocking Peter, who scoffed.

“Batman,” Superman said, a smile on his face.

Batman fixed the most impressive and terrifying glare upon the man that Stark had ever seen. “You broke protocol by going ahead of me. You are in _my_ territory Superman. And you know that I cannot fly or run at the speed of sound.” He fixed his glare on the rest of his group who all reacted with either flinches or sheepish shrugs.

Batman grunted before looking at the Avengers. He sized each of them up, staying longest on Stark. Tony felt as if his entire being was being stripped away under the scrutiny.

“Alternate Dimension jumpers, not by choice I’m assuming.”

He spoke so simply that it took a minute for Tony to react. Even then, the man was already on his way back to his car.

“We’re near Gotham, let’s regroup at the Cave.”

Tony didn’t know what this _Cave_ was, but he wasn’t sure he liked it. “Are you the Dark Knight?” He asked, before he lost his nerve.

The man looked immediately at the Flash and Green Lantern, who looked both scared and amused. Their sheepish smirks and chuckles dissipated when Batman looked away and back to Tony.

“The Dark Knight, The World’s Greatest Detective, The Caped Crusader, The Batman. All are titles I have earned. See you at the cave.”

And with that he hopped in his car and sped off back toward the gloomy city beyond.

  
  



	2. Meeting

"Woah." Peter looked around at the giant cavern that the Green Lantern guy had flown them into. His ring had formed some kind of platform to carry them, and Peter was still theorizing how it worked.

They had flown toward the city - named Gotham apparently - following the mysterious "Batman". Then reached a waterfall, which had a huge mechanical door system that parted the water. They had gone through a long pathway lit up on the edges before emerging in the cave.

It was huge, with multiple platforms built into the rock. Peter first found himself on one that was clearly meant for vehicles, as there were multiple motorcycles parked beside where Batman's car stopped. There were other levels that held gym equipment, a sparring ring, weapons stations, and some sort of lab. There was weird memorabilia too. Peter spotted a giant penny, dinosaur, and a Joker playing card. A few more levels had cases for suits, not unlike that which Mr. Stark had. Though some of the suits were strange. One was clearly bloody and ripped. One of the most prominent platforms held a huge computer with a dominating black chair.

However, Peter could have sworn it was playing . . . The Dinosaur Game? That was weird.

Batman got out of his car the way he had before and made his way over toward the Avengers, where they had been set down by Green Lantern. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, a very loud voice called out in the cave, startling everyone except the Batman.

"Bruce! Where the F*** is my AK-47?!"

The Hulk, who had since transformed back into Bruce Banner, frowned in confusion.

No one got the chance to question it, however, because a young man in a skin tight black bodysuit swung from another level, and was now hanging upside down from a support beam near Batman. He had a blue bird on his chest, Peter thought it looked a bit like an eagle. He also had on a black domino mask.

"Hey B!" He said cheerily. " I should probably warn you that Hood is on a rampage 'cause he can't find his gun. And also Robin is threatening everyone as per usual. "  
The Dark Knight sighed. "What about Red Robin, Spoiler, and Oracle? "

The new comer grinned. "Dinosaur Game Championship. Oracle is in the lead."

There was a sudden shout of disapproval from where the apparent game seemed to be held.

“And Signal?”

“Taking weapons stock while muttering about how insane we all are.” He shook his head. “He seems to forget he’s one of us, and therefore crazy by association.”

The Dark Knight sighed once more, this time with his fingers on the bridge of his nose. "Thank you Nightwing. Would you tell Red Hood that his AK-47 is in the Med Bay where he left it when he was doing his stitches? And tell everyone to meet in the conference  
room in uniform. Code 27G."

Nightwings eyes - well, lenses - widened. He glanced at the Avengers. "Huh. Sure can do B."

He swung up from his perch, flipped onto the platform above him - Peter was pretty impressed at how casually he did so - and ran off, seemingly melting into the shadows.

An awkward silence followed, with the Avengers all huddling protectively together. Peter really wanted to explore - that T-Rex looked awesome - but he saw the worried look on Mr. Stark's face. This was an unfamiliar situation. They must be cautious.

A moment later Peter had had enough of caution. “Excuse me sir, is that a dinosaur?”

The Dark Knight turned toward Peter and glared. Out of the corner of his eye, Peter saw Mr. Stark tense up. But a split second later the glare softened. “Yes. Animatronic. From one of my early . . . endeavors.”

Peter grinned under his mask. “Cool!”

Batman lifted his head, and began walking on a path up. “Come, I'll show you where we can talk.”

*****

They entered a meeting room that was off to the side of the cave. There was already a group present. They were clumped loosely in a corner, boredom and intrigue apparent on their faces. They all stood to attention when Batman walked into the room, all except for Nightwing from earlier. He was currently in a handstand in the center of the conference table, shifting from one hand to the other. He collapsed onto the table at the sight of the arrivals, before quickly jumping to his feet and saluting with an embarrassed grin on his face. Batman rolled his eyes and they all went back to what they were doing, except Nightwing who slumped into a chair.

The group of teeneagers were dressed in more skin-tight suits. Peter was slightly taken aback by how young they were. The smallest seemed to be around ten - perhaps he was this “Robin” mentioned earlier - and the oldest in his early twenties. Most seemed to be about his own age though, in their mid teens. It felt weird to not be the only kid.

The closest was a young man sitting in one of the chairs with his feet on the table. He seemed to be taller than Nightwing, with a broader chest. He wore gray cargo pants, some sort of utility belt, an armored shirt with a red bat on it, a leather jacket, and a red helmet that looked a lot like Tony’s. Peter could already imagine the copyright complaints from their resident billionaire. The man also had gun holsters on each leg, and was stroking a - newly returned - AK-47 in his arms.

The first teenager had black bottoms and red top with a black and gold “X” over his chest, joined by some symbol that looked vaguely like an “R”. He also had a black cape and smooth cowl. He was standing in the corner, leaning against a wall with a tablet and mug of coffee in hand.

A teenage girl stood beside the teen, dressed in a mostly purple with hints-of-black bodysuit and a purple hooded cape. She wore a full black mask over her face, with only white lenses. It was a bit freaky, but she was mostly non-threatening, due to her easygoing posture and laugh, which was directed at the teen with the cowl.

The kid was dressed in black leggings, green boots and gloves, a red and yellow tunic with an “R” on it, black and yellow hooded cape, and green domino mask. Though the strangest thing about him was the huge Katana he was sharpening while sitting at the table. He also had an unimpressed glare on his face. Peter decided that he and Helmet-Guy were the scariest in the room. Aside from Batman.

Another teenaged boy had a tired look on what Peter could see of his face, as he looked slightly disapprovingly at his companions. He stood in more heavily plated bright yellow and black armor with a bat symbol on it. He had a utility belt, and a helmet which looked to be shaped like a bat.

What was with these people and bats?

Peter didn’t get to ask, as at that moment a new person joined the group. Flying down a ramp was a red headed young woman in a wheelchair. She expertly slowed to a stop in front of Batman, who had not yet entered the room. Peter noticed that she had hastily applied a black domino mask, leaving a pair of glasses in her lap, along with a laptop.

“Sorry I’m late B, I forgot where I had put my extra mask. These things keep disappearing!” She said the last part while glaring at the kids.

“It’s fine, Oracle. Now that we’re all here-” He paused, then looked around at the group. “Where’s Black Bat?”

“Handling a Robbery downtown. She’s finishing up. ETA 20 minutes.”

Batman nodded. “Very well, we’ll continue without her, she won’t mind.”

He entered the room, ushering everyone else to do so as well. With a quick glare, all the kids sat down. The Avengers joined them, as there were plenty of seats. The only one who did not sit was Batman.

He spoke once everyone was ready, mainly directing his words to the kids. Peter briefly wondered what it would be like to actually be respected like that, but shook off the thought. Batman quickly and efficiently summarizes the events, including several readings of the energy sources, which only the red and black teen seemed to understand as he nodded along, looking fascinated. Once he was done, Batman turned to the Avengers. “Names. No need to share personal identities if you are uncomfortable. Though since we are from different earths, I doubt it would matter.”

“Everyone already knows our identities on our earth,” Mr. Stark said, receiving several weird looks from the teens. “So it's not a problem for us.” He removed his face plate. “Tony Stark, I'm Iron man in the suit, which I built myself.”  
He gestures to Steve Rogers next.

“Captain America, Steve Rogers. Our resident super soldier and senior citizen.” Steve frowned at the last comment.

“Bruce Banner,” Mr. Stark said next, “Alter ego is the Hulk. Anger Issues and Gamma radiation galore.”

Red Robin perked up. “Cool! How did-” He was cut off by a glare from Batman.

"This is Thor Odinson, named. . . well, Thor. God of lightning, has a hammer. You can call him Sparky Sparky Boom Man." A pause. "Yeah, maybe just stick with Thor."

"Clint Barton, codename Hawkeye. Our long distance weapons specialist." Mr. Stark gestured to Clint's bow for good measure. The kids giggled and whispered something to each other that sounded like 'Green Arrow knockoff ', though Peter didn't get it.

"Black Widow, Natasha Romanov. Intelligence expert, and ex-assassin." This got a bunch of whispers from the kids.

Peter was the last to be introduced. He pulled off his mask while Mr. Stark said "The kid's Peter Parker, our rookie, also known as Siderman "

"You sure it's Spider _man_ ," Helmet-Guy said.

Peter glared. "Yes."

"Red Hood," Batman said, frowning. "No antagonizing the interdimensional visitors.”

Red Hood just shrugged and went back to stroking his gun.

The Avengers just sat around awkwardly. The Woman jabbed her elbow into Superman’s ribs, which got him talking.

"Oh. . . It's only fair we introduce ourselves, since it isn't really official earlier." This time it was Superman who spoke. "I'm Superman, known as Kal-El, a kryptonian. Human name is Clark Kent."

Huh, he didn't look like an alien.

“Here we have Wonder Woman, an amazon, demigoddess, and princess. Secret Identity is Diana Prince.” He gestured to the woman, who, despite just being called a princess, looked very threatening indeed.

“Martian Manhunter, a martian known as J’onn J'onzz. Civilian name is John Jones. Yes, quite original.” The Martian nodded in greeting, and Peter was seriously freaking out. A real martian!? Cool!

“Flash, a speedster also known as Barry Allen.” The man pulled back his cowl as Superman spoke.

“S’up?” He asked with a smile.

“And Hal Jordan, one of the Green Lanterns.”

“The best Green Lantern.”

Batman grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “keep telling yourself that.”

Superman turned to Batman, but before he could, the Dark Knight spoke. “I can do it myself Clark.” He lifted his hand and removed his cowl to reveal a handsome man in his early to mid thirties with black hair and blue eyes. “Batman, also known as Bruce Wayne.”

He turned toward the kids. “These are my kids, as well as partners.”

He started with Nightwing. “Nightwing, aka Richard Grayson. My eldest.” Richard grinned and removed his domino mask. He too had blue eyes.

“Call me Dick,” he said.

“Red Hood, aka Jason Todd, my second eldest.” Jason pressed some button or something on his helmet and took it off to reveal. . . a domino mask. After a quick glare from Bruce, he sighed and took it off. Revealing black hair and blue eyes.

“Red Robin,” there was a soft ‘yum’ that came from the corner, though Peter couldn’t tell who said it. “Aka Tim Drake.” Tim pulled his cowl back and grinned. He had black hair and blue eyes.

“Over there is Signal, aka Duke Thomas, my ward.” The teen took off his helmet, revealing yet another black-haired kid. Though Duke was clearly african american, and had brown eyes.

“Next is Robin aka Damian Wayne, my youngest.” Damian sneered as if he were above everyone around him.

“Spoiler, aka Stephanie Brown, is a family friend.” Stephanie waved.

“I’m also his ex,” Stephanie said, jutting her thumb at Tim.

Tim groaned. “When will you stop introducing yourself like that?”

“When it stops getting under your skin.”

Tim sank back in his chair and flung an arm over his eyes.

Batman sighed once more. “Oracle, aka Barbara Gordan. Also a family friend, and our tech specialist.” Baraba nodded in recognition. “Now that introductions are out of the way, we must discuss how you got here, and how you’ll get back.”

Everyone nodded and began the discussion. Mr. Stark started off the explanation, going over Anagnorisis, the compound, the gun that they got hit with, and how they ended up in the crater.

The other adults - mainly Batman - popped in, talking about the calculations for such an interdimensional jump. Peter listened intently, as he found it utterly fascinating, but didn’t add anything. Then Tim spoke, listing off a series of numbers and variables, that were received with nods. Peter was a bit jealous that he spoke so easily. So Peter decided to add something later on, a small comment about energy sources. When he did, the conversation stopped. Peter thought he was dead meat for interrupting, but then Bruce - Wayne, not Banner - spoke.

“The kid’s smart.”

Mr. Stark smiled proudly.

A moment later the conversation continued. They went on for almost a half hour, and even Peter was getting a bit bored. He could tell the other kids were too. The girls seemed to have gotten back to their Dinosaur Game championship, and there were small cheers and groans coming from their corner every so often. Jason and Damian had yet to set aside their weapons, though they had begun a small conversation too quiet for Peter to hear. The only people who seemed to be paying attention were Dick and Tim, though Dick clearly didn’t understand half the words that were being tossed around.

The adults seemed to be disinterested as well, namely Barry and Hal, who were in the middle of a thumb war. When they inevitably got too loud, Batman sent a glare their way. The other members of the Justice League seemed to only be listening out of courtesy. As were Thor and Clint. Natasha seemed to be focussed more on the kids. She had a small frown on her face, as if something about them bothered her.

Everyone paid attention when Batman spoke next, however. “It should take at least a week to charge up the energy sources and prepare a device to send you home.”

Peter perked up. “That’s not that long. Have you dealt with interdimensional travel in the past?”

Several of the kids groaned. “Don’t remind me,” Stephanie said.

“Worst twenty-six hours of my life!” Dick agreed.

Then Jason spoke, and Peter was speechless.

“It was almost as bad as that time I died. Now that wasn’t a fun evening.”

“You died?” Natasha said, clearly confused and worried.

“I’m better now,” he said as if referring to a common cold. Jason had a small smirk on his face as he shrugged.

“Back to the discussion at hand,” Batman said, glaring at Jason. “Yes, Peter, we have dealt with the multiverse before. It should be fairly simple to locate your dimension and send you back. The only problem is powering the device. It requires Superman flying out to the sun and placing the energy core inside to fuel it. It needs to remain there for over a week.”

“You can fly to the sun?” Mr. Stark asked. “How do you survive?”

Clark shrugged. “I have impenetrable skin, and a very high melting point.”

No one questioned this, though Peter was quite intrigued.

“Where will they stay?” Dick asked, which caused a sudden silence.

“Does the Watchtower have enough rooms available?” Barry asked.

“What’s the Watchtower?” Peter asked.

“Our space station,” Diana answered, much to Peter’s delight, “and no, we have those visiting Green Lanterns, remember? Hal has been grousing about it all this week.”

“I was not!” Hal said, then sighed. “Okay, maybe I was, but that’s beside the point. What about your farmhouse, Clark?”

Clark shook his head. “Under renovation. Speaking of which I need to head over there after this. Lois will have a cow if I’m late.”

There was silence after that, as everyone was thinking. Then Stephanie got a - slightly evil, Peter thought - smile on her face. “What about the Manor? God knows we have enough space.”

“You don’t even live here!” Tim said.

Bruce glared at Stephanie for a bit then sighed. “The Manor would work. Though why anyone would want to stay with you rabble rousers is beyond my understanding.”

Jason snorted. “Says the guy who adopted us all willingingly.”

Batman grumbled, but was saved from replying as a sudden noise came from the door.

The meeting room had a wide glass window next to the exit - which was open - so Peter had a good view of the sleek black motorcycle that entered the cave, upon which rode a figure dressed all in black. The motorcycle was parked and yet another costumed teen - this time a girl - strolled toward the conference room.

She was dressed in head to toe black, in the form of a skin tight suit. She also had a yellow utility belt, and outline of a bat on her chest. She wore a black cape and cowl which had pointed ears and covered her whole face. There seemed to be some form of stitching across her mouth, which was quite creepy.

She walked forward and entered the room quickly. Bruce smiled upon seeing her.

“Ah, Black Bat. How was the robbery?”

She motioned with her hands in a way that Peter didn’t understand. It seemed vaguely like that sign language which he’d seen Clint use.

Whatever it was, Batman seemed to understand. “Very good. These are our visitors. Code 27G. They’ll be staying at the manor till we can send them back.”

Black Bat reached up and took off her cowl revealing an asian girl around eighteen year old with a black bob. “Good,” she said. “Names?”

“We’re allowing them. Over there we have Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker, and Bruce Banner.”

“Bruce?” She asked with a smirk.

Batman sighed. “Yes.” He turned to the group. “This is my Daughter Cassandra Cain. Alias is Black Bat.”

Everyone muttered small hellos, except Jason who said something with the word “favorite” in it. Cassandra didn’t seem bothered by the lack of enthusiasm. She just smiled and walked over to Damian.

“Seat. Mine.” She spoke simply.

Peter thought the kid would just sneer, but instead he quickly moved over. He could have sworn the kid looked scared. Perhaps the kid was all bark and no bite.

“Well, if that’s all, I really should be going,” Clark Kent said as he rose from the table. “Good luck with staying at the manor. See ya kids.”

“Bye Uncle Supes,” The kids chorused

“I should be going as well,” Barry said. I’m needed at the station.”

Soon the rest of the league left, and the Avengers were left alone with the bats and birds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In sorry if this chapter is a bit boring, I tried to keep it light. (I know the techie stuff that I glossed over bored even me) But now that I'm done with the first introductory chapters, I can move to some - hopefully - more fun scenarios!


	3. Morning Routines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the Avengers have begun to settle into the Manor, they get to know the inhabitants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading this and giving kudos. I have 100 now! Just so you know, I am now accepting suggestions and requests! If there are any characters you want to interact more, scene ideas, dialogue, or situations you'd like, feel free to comment below and I'll do my best to add them in.
> 
> Cheers,
> 
> PepperSoniRoni

Steve awoke in one of the most comfortable beds he had ever slept in. For a moment he was relaxed as the sun streamed in through the large window. Then he sat straight up. How did he get here?

Then he remembered. After the Justice League had left, Batman - he still felt weird calling him Bruce - led them into an elevator which emerged in a richly adorned sitting room. The entrance to the elevator being in the Grandfather clock which lay to the side of the room. A butler - a butler! Even Tony didn’t have one of those - had met them there. Batman had informed him that they would be staying for a while, and the butler had quickly led them to free rooms, assuring the Avengers that clothes would be provided before dinner. He had spoken the truth, as a change of clothes were provided shortly. Steve suspected they were pilfered from the manor’s residents. 

Steve got out of bed and went over to the neatly stacked pile of clothes, and got dressed. He had been given cargo pants and a gray t-shirt. He then left his room and began to follow the smell of breakfast - a heavenly mixture of coffee, maple syrup, bacon, and blueberry pancakes.

Nat, Tony, and Clint were already in the kitchen when he arrived. They were sitting on stools at the island along with Tim Drake and Cassandra Cain. The Butler was placing a heaping pile of pancakes on the table whilst handing Tim a pot of coffee. 

Steve walked over and sat down. "Good morning," he said. "They look great sir, thank you."

The Butler smiled. "Call me Alfred, everyone else does." He spoke with a crisp british accent, which Steve hadn’t noticed the evening before.

Steve nodded as he took some pancakes and bacon. Everyone else started chowing down as well, with the exception of Tim. Tim looked horrible, if Steve was being honest. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his lids were drooped.

Tim was about to pour some coffee, when Steve noticed he was clearly going to miss the mug. Steve opened his mouth to say something when Cassandra Cain reached over and casually pushed the mug over. 

Tim filled up the mug. He either hadn’t noticed, or hadn’t cared.

Cassandra went back to her seat. "You sleep?"

Tim shrugged. "No more than usual. I had patrol, then worked on that eastside murder case."

Cassandra frowned. “ _ Sleep _ ,” she said vehemently.

"What's patrol?" Clint asked curiously.

Tim frowned. “We go out and patrol Gotham. Take care of crime. Typical vigilante stuff.”

This gave Steve pause. “You handle petty crime?”

Tim blinked. “You don’t? I thought you said you were superheroes?"

Natasha nodded. “So you’re like Peter. He protects Manhattan. The rest of us only got together due to an alien invasion. We’re what you would call the . . . heavy hitters.”

Cassandra nodded. “City needs us. Without . . .” She pursed her lips and moved her hands around. “Bad things happen.”

“Once you have finished, might I suggest you explore the manor or cave?” Alfred said as he placed more bacon on the table. “Master Bruce has a full gym and training areas in the Batcave which you are welcome to use. After all, if you are to stay here, you might as well have something to do.”

Steve stood up from his now finished meal. “Thank you Alfred, I believe I will. I think I remember the way to the cave. Thank you for the meal.”

Tony nodded. “See you down there, I guess.” Clint and Natasha agreed.

*****

Steve entered the cave to find that he was not the first one there. Standing on the main platform was an honest-to-god  _ cow.  _

It was brown and white, with stubby horns and a baleful look. On its forehead was a brown patch that looked suspiciously like a bat. The cow mood.

“Bat-Cow! Get away from the invader!” Damian Wayne swooped in out of nowhere and landed in front of the now named Bat-Cow. “What are you doing in the cave?” He asked, his sword drawn and pointed at Steve’s chest.

“The butler - Alfred - said I could come down here to workout,” Steve replied. He was still trying to get over the fact that a cow was in front of him, being guarded by an eleven year-old in black training clothes that looked a lot like a ninja’s.

“T-t,” Damian replied, clearly unimpressed.

“Well, um. . . Is that a cow?” Steve couldn’t help himself.

“Yes of course. Are you blind? This is Bat-Cow. Bat-Cow, this is one of the invaders by the name of Steve Rogers. Stay away, he’s probably not even a vegetarian.” With that, the boy and the cow strolled away, and Steve turned to go. 

*****

Steve found the gym platform and set to work. It was quite nice equipment, and Steve enjoyed using it. He wasn’t the only one, as both Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown were there with him in gym clothes. They both wore gray sweatpants, but Stephanie also wore a purple sports bra, almost the same color as her suit. Stephanie was using some resistance bands and Jason was bench pressing.

Steve walked in muttering about cows, which gained a smile from Jason, who inevitably heard him.

“If a cow surprises you,” Jason said between lifts, “then wait till you see Goliath.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Steve asked as he settled into a warm-up.

“One of Damian’s other . . . pets.” Stephanie said, a grimace on her face. “But boy, I can’t wait till I see your face!” She laughed as she finished up, and moved onto chin-ups.

Steve frowned, but let it slide. There was silence after a while as he settled into his routine. Eventually he moved over to bench presses. He began to set up the weights, glad there were so many, as he usually needed a lot more than the average man.

Steve looked over at Jason, who was still pressing. On closer inspection he was benching almost 400 pounds.

“Do you have super strength,” Steve asked before he could help himself. 

Jason snorted and finished up his last few reps, setting the bar down then sitting up. He wiped his face as he answered Steve. “Nope, I don’t need superstength to get these babies.”

He lifted up his arms and flexed. This sent Stephanie into a giggle fit. “You,” She said between snorts, “Jason Peter Todd, are utterly ridiculous.”

Jason smiled as well before turning back to Steve. “But really, none of us bats have super strength. All we have is skill, and kicka** personalities.”

Steve frowned, but nodded anyway. He went to begin bench pressing when Stephanie asked him, “That Stark guy said you were a supersoldier, I assume that super strength comes with it?”

“Yup. There was an experimental serum that the scientists of World War II chose me to test. I worked in the army for a while, before I got frozen in ice due to taking down a Nazi ship. I got rescued and joined the Avengers to help stop an alien invasion.”

Jason muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “cheater.” 

Stephanie glared at him. Before standing up and speaking cheerfully “Well, I’m going to go spar with whoever’s available. See you later?” Stephanie walked off, grabbing a purple water bottle on the way out.

Jason nodded. He moved on in his workout, and Steve went back to his bench presses. After a while, Jason had left to spar. Steve finished up himself, then decided to follow. He remembered seeing a fighting area on his way down, so he left the gym and started his search.

*****

Steve didn’t have to search for long, as the platform in question was easily the most crowded. It was the largest, with some thin mats on the floor. Steve wasn’t sure that they would provide much protection.

Thor was standing near the center, holding Mjolnir, and looking quite uncomfortable. He was seemingly being questioned by Damian, Jason, and Cassandra. Tim, Duke, Peter, Nat, Bruce (Banner), Tony, Bruce (Wayne) and Clint stood to the side. Their faces were a mixture of worry (Nat, Bruce Banner, Tony, and Clint), Amusement, (Tim, Dick and Duke), and confusion (Peter and Bruce Wayne).

Steve walked up to Nat. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“They're questioning the technicalities of being worthy of the hammer,” She said with a frown. “Specifically how many and how often you murder to be excluded.”

Steve frowned right along with her as he turned to the conversation.

“But is there a  _ time frame?”  _ Jason was asking. “Like say you don’t kill for like two weeks, and you’ve been super good? Would that get you points?”

“Uh. . .” The look on Thor’s face was priceless.

“T-t,” Damian said. “What about the technicalities behind the actual murder? Perhaps if a seven year old went on a killing spree? Would age exempt him?”

“I’m not sure a child would-”

“Not their fault?” Cassandra asked. “Forced? Didn’t know?”

Jason frowned. “Yeah, would the kid be declared unworthy if they were forced to kill? Or they didn’t know what they were doing?”

“Well, I-”

“What about mind control? Manipulation? Amnesia?” Jason asked. 

“I’m sorry, but -”

“Do the more you kill, the more unworthy you become?” Damian asked, “Or until you hit a certain body count, it's a free-for-all?”

Thor sputtered. “Free-for-all?!”

“Or what if they were really bad people?” Jason asked. “Like other murderers? Pedophiles? Rapists? Drug dealers who sell to kids? If they did something wrong, would that cancel out your own wrongness?”

“These kids are hard-core,” Clint muttered.

“They raise a good point though,” Duke replied.

Tim nodded. “Ten Bucks its Damian who throws dear Thor off the edge.”

“Cass is feisty though.” Dick replied

Duke snorted. “Hah, never bet against Jason!” 

All three exchanged handshakes.

“Okay,” Jason said, waving his arms about as he spoke with the utmost seriousness. “Does the way you kill affect how bad it is? Like would slowly and painfully bleeding to death be worse than a bullet to the head? Or say a sniper rifle compared to a handgun? Since one is more personal?”

Thor gaped at the young man. 

“ _ Why _ kill.” Cassandra asked. “Told? Want? Accident?”

“What if it was to save yourself?” Damian asked. “If it was self-preservation, would that account for anything?”

“What if you were saving someone else?” Jason added. “Either directly, or just making the world a safer place?”

Thor frowned. “I do not speak for Mjolnir, but I assume all murder is murder.” The kids looked disappointed, so Thor continued. “However, if you wish to try to lift it, You have my permission to do so.”

“Naw, it's okay,” Jason said as the kids walked off looking dejected. “Doubt we could anyways, as Thor here just clarified.”

This caused the most uproar out of everything else in the conversation. Thor looked stricken, along with Peter, Bruce Banner, and Tony. Natasha and Clint looked at each other worriedly, Bruce Wayne, Tim, and Duke just rolled their eyes. And Steve was just confused.

“You kill?” Steve asked, as he started to worry if this universe was much more different than he had originally thought.

“Cassandra, Damian, and Jason had … unusual circumstances.” Bruce Wayne said simply. There was a silence after that. Then Bruce continued. “Well, we were about to start some sparring. If you’d like to join us, you are more than welcome to.”

Steve stood straight. He’d been looking forward to seeing them fight. “Sure,” he said as Tim, Dick and Duke exchanged ten dollar bils. “Sounds fun.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know much about gym workouts (I do dance, pilates, and yoga) so I'm really sorry if this isn't accurate! I did my best to research things. Any tips are appreciated!
> 
> I'm also sorry if I'm not portraying the bat cave properly, but there are so many versions, that I don't think it really matters. If you're curious, this is based mostly on The Batman (an animated TV show, and one of the best in my opinion) bat cave, with snippets from google images, and my own imagination.


	4. Growing Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some questionable comments from Jason regarding murder, some of the Avengers are (understandably) freaked out and untrusting towards the bats. They decide to research their hosts.

Natasha stood to the side as Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown finished sparring. Everyone else was either watching or warming up. Natasha was part of the former.

Their skill was undeniable. She had no doubt that if it came to a real fight, she might not win. They had fought hard for almost five minutes, though Nat could tell it was all in good fun. Their looks of concentration did not hide the easy-going eyes and smiles.

Natasha was honestly unsure of who would win, but then Stephanie pulled out of a flip a split second early and delivered a kick to Tim’s chest. A moment later she had used his off-balance to bring him to the floor. He quickly surrendered when she sat on him with her forearm to his throat.

“That was an interesting kick,” Tim said as Stephanie helped him up. “I wonder who you learned it from.” He glanced over his shoulder to glare at a smirking Damian.

“I’m sorry Drake, is there a problem? Aren’t we all supposed to help each other improve our technique?” Damian was smirking even more at that point.

Tim snorted then walked off to get some water, grumbling as he went. 

Stephanie laughed. “Sore loser!” She high fived Damian.

“Could I perhaps have a turn,” Natasha asked when no one seemed to be ready immediately to fight. 

Steve stepped forward. “Shall we?”

Natasha groaned inside. Steve was a decent fighter, especially with his shield, but she had been looking forward to a challenge.

Natasha nodded. “Sure, I’d like a warm-up.” This got some chuckles from the teens.

They faced each other and started to circle for a few seconds. When Nat grew bored, she darted forward and struck his shoulder. He twisted and she used it to strike the back of his knee. She delivered a kick to the back of his head and he was on the ground a moment later.

There were several appreciative claps and laughs from the kids. The rest of the Avengers just nodded. They were used to Natasha beating them up.

“Someone needs a better opponent,” Bruce Wayne said. He didn’t smile, but there was a slight upturn on the corner of his mouth. “Damian, why don’t you take a turn. I know you’ve been itching for a fight.”

The boy smiled dangerously, and several of the Avengers laughed. They underestimated him - most likely due to his incredibly short stature - unlike Natasha. There was something strange about him, She had sensed it from the moment she’d laid eyes on him. And she hadn’t forgotten that he was dangerous.

Damian strolled forward and took his position. Natasha followed suit. A moment later Dick gave the mark to start.

Damian was  _ fast _ . He sprinted forward in an instant and struck Nat’s gut. She barely managed to block, and wasn’t able to dodge the next blow, this time to her shin. She darted out with a counterblow, but he stepped out with his back leg, bringing his arm up to block. A split second later his back leg darted out to land a blow on the back of Natasha’s knee, bringing her down. He smoothly transitioned into bringing a knee up and jumping into a spinning kick landing at Natasha’s head.

Natasha was on the ground for a moment before she rose and resumed her atack. Damian flipped away before advancing once again. He unleashed a sequence of torso blows followed by a front handspring finished with a double kick. Natasha spun to the side and attacked him with multiple strikes across his shoulders and head.

She could tell his style easily. He stuck with torso and leg strikes due to his height, and only used roundabout kicks, which utilized his leg strength. But he was also holding back. Some of his blows were clearly designed to kill, but had been modified to be non life threatening. Perhaps what had been implied earlier was true: the kid had killed. 

The fight dragged on, and Natasha couldn’t find an opening. Damian was ruthless in his attacks, and his form impeccable. There were times when Natasha was clearly losing, but she managed to pull back from the brink and keep going. She managed to get a decent combo in before Damian swiped at her head mid flip. She dodged to the side: a pivotal mistake. In the blink of an eye, Damian was at her. He brought her into a headlock, and Nat had no choice but to accept defeat.

They rose together, to the astonished faces of the Avengers. Tony was especially shocked. Apparently, none of them had ever considered that Natasha could be beaten. Let alone by an eleven year old.

“Great Job, both of you.” Dick said. “I haven’t seen anyone stand that long against Damian in a while.”

Damian smiled at her smugly.

Natasha smiled right back. The fight had been invigorating, and she hadn't had to work that hard before. But for the same reason, it was worrying. The kid taught with skill that would have taken  _ years to _ develop. Damian had clearly been trained from a very young age, which brought a shiver down Natasha's spine. She had flashbacks to the Red Room. The bloody horror that has been her childhood. 

No one should have to face that.

*****

They trained for a few more hours, and the mood gradually returned to whatever could be considered normal. The bats - Damian specifically - had declared the Avengers to be woefully under trained when it came to fighting. They did admit that Natasha was good, and Clint decent, however. They had  _ everynight _ standards.

Everyone - even Banner, much to his dismay - had been roped into a basic hand to hand combat training routine, modified to fit each person's skill level. Natasha had enjoyed her's very much, but after three hard hours, she was grateful for the shower.

They had rejoined in the kitchen after everyone had a chance to bathe and chat for lunch. Natasha had found more clothes placed in her room, this time black ripped jeans and tank top. Nat wondered who they belonged to, they clearly didn't come from Cassandra, Barbara, or Stephanie.

Nat didn’t worry too much about it though. She just wanted food. Pretty much everyone was there, though Tony was behind her in the hallway. Natasha came and sat down on one of the stools, along with Tim and Cass.

Natasha had no doubt. 

Wayne was wearing dressy casual slacks and a cashmere sweater, as was Damian. They truly looked identical. Everyone else was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, or some variation thereof.

“I have prepared a meal for you, do tell me if it is unsatisfactory,” Alfred the butler said as he set some food on the table. Everyone thanked the old man, who only smiled.

Natasha ate in peace, not ignoring anyone, but not partaking in conversation either. Then she heard Jason raise his voice. 

“Come on Replacement, you know I’m about as dangerous as a butterfly.” He was speaking sarcastically, though Tim didn’t seem to notice.

“Tell that to Black Mask’s henchmen,” he muttered, taking a bite of salad.

Jason snorted. “That was a long time ago, and in my defense, it was his mother’s f***ing fault!”

Damian sat straight upright. “How dare you-”

“You know it's true Dami,” Dick said. “She is malicious, even for an assassin.”

“Can we not talk about Talia over lunch?” Wayne asked, his hands on his temples.

Damian made his t-t sound once again, and continued to eat. Jason shrugged and launched back into a conversation with Tim.

Nat glanced over at Tony and Steve, who were frowning, most likely due to the mention of Damian’s assassin mother. They would be talking about this later, no doubt.

*****

“Did you hear how casually they mentioned it?!” Steve was saying. He had gathered Tony, Nat and Clint with him in one of the libraries, desperate to talk about their hosts. 

Tony was nodding while he replied. “This place seems more dangerous than we first thought. I’m not sure if we can trust these … _ bats _ .”

Clint frowned. “But they have not actually done anything to harm us. Sure, their methods are questionable, but they  _ are _ our only way home.”

“The least we can do is gather information,” Tony said. “But be careful. If they really do kill, then they might harm us for questioning them.”

“But what behavior have we seen that would suggest they would do something like that?” Clint insisted. “Sure Jason swears a lot and carries guns, and Damian sharpened his katana quite threateningly, but that is not cause for mistrust!”

“They mentioned assassins! The kid’s mother is an  _ assassin _ !” Steve said. “That in and of itself is  _ cause for mistrust _ .”

Natasha chuckled lightly, and Steve’s eyes widened. The three men slowly turned to their resident ex-assassin.

“I’m sorry, Tash,” Steve said. “I didn’t mean  _ you _ , of course. You’re plenty trustworthy!” Tony couldn’t help but chuckle.

“But that’s _ exactly _ what you said,” Cint snapped, growing defensive.

“Steve,” Nat said, sighing. “I understand your worry, I really do. But I’m honestly not worried about us.” 

Steve blinked. “Why not?”

“Because when I fought with Damian I could tell his style. He had clearly been trained to kill,” This gained an outraged ‘ahah’ from both Steve and Tony, to which Natahsa shook her head. “He had been trained to kill, yes, but his style was adapted. It was like he was unlearning everything he’d been taught. And I know how that is.”

Clint nodded his head, remembering when he had found Nat, and the months afterward when she had been taken in.

“You’re worried about the kids.” Clint stated. 

It wasn’t really a question, but Nat nodded anyway. “He would have had to have been trained for years to be that skilled. And he’s only eleven …” Natasha shook her head. “They mentioned the mother in a way that leads me to believe she isn’t really in his life anymore. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say  _ she’s _ the one that trained him, not Bruce Wayne.”

“So he probably isn't abusing the kid, that’s great,” Tony said sarcastically, though Natasha could still direct the relief in his voice. “But what about Jason and Cassandra? I wouldn’t put it past Jason to kill us, honestly. But Cassandra, I don’t know.”

“He mentioned something like manipulation while questioning Thor, so maybe he didn’t mean to?” Clint shook his head. “But he still talked about it so flippantly. I’m not sure about him.”

Natasha nodded. “I agree. Jason seems the most volatile. As for Cassandra, I am honestly not sure. I haven’t seen her fight, nor do anything violent. But the way she moves … in some ways I think she’s the most dangerous of them all.”

Everyone was silent for a moment, thinking. Natasha sat back, having done her piece. After a while, Tony spoke.

“I think we should do our own research. With a team this large, surely there will be plenty of information.”

*****

There was not, in fact, plenty of information. Tony had found a free computer on one of the desks in the library that was most likely meant for public use - it had a sticky note with the password (IAmTheNight) on it - and quickly set up a search. 

They had started with the basics: Batman, Gotham Vigilantes. But there really hadn’t been much. The most they could gather was that Batman had been an urban legend up until he joined the Justice League. There had been sightings going back almost 15 years, which Meant Bruce had started when he was in his early twenties. 

Robin had come in a few years later, and was clearly not Damian Wayne. But beyond that, there wasn’t much. Sometimes Robin wore pants, sometimes not. Sometimes Robin was even a girl. Tony could never find anything defininite. There were countless vigilantes mentioned, some nameless, others not. Some showed up for a few weeks, then disappeared. 

Finally they found something.

“Ahah!” Tony said as he clicked on an article about Red Hood. “This should be worth our 

time.” Tony pulled up the first paragraph, and began reading.

“It is well known to everyone in Gotham that Crime Alley is one of the most dangerous places in our already dangerous city. What is also well known is its protector: The Red Hood. The Red Hood has had a somewhat rocky past with Gotham, but unlike the other vigilantes that haunt the rooftops, it is relatively easy to follow. 

Red Hood first came on the scene a few years ago and quickly made a splash. Hood quickly took over most if not all of Gotham’s crime organizations, and began to make immediate changes. 

It is reported that all the drug syndicates halted dealing near schools or children. All human trafficking sceeced. Crime was managed, to a point that not even Batman had achieved. 

Red Hood enacted a strict law: he only killed rapists, murderers, abusers, and drug dealers - only those who sell to kids.

But we can’t forget about the dark knight. Batman was seriously against Red Hood in the beginning, and there are several documented fights to prove it. Red Hood became the only major criminal to stay active with the bat’s knowledge, and not be defeated.

After a while, though, Red Hood left Gotham. No one is quite sure why, as he had built himself quite an empire. Later on - no one is sure of the specifics - he returned. Details are foggy around this time, but Red Hood started to appear again, back to patrolling Crime Alley. One thing was different though. This time he wore a red bat on his armor, effectively announcing his allegiance.

According to many Gothamites, Red Hood has not killed anyone since his return, and has given up his crime lord status. Some say he protects Crime Alley, and occasionally teams up with the other vigilantes of Gotham. Many eye witness reports say that Hood has a somewhat amicable relationship with the bats, and is clearly one of them. There are also notes of him using rubber bullets, proving even more that he has sided with the bats. Though this is uncertain, as others report he still uses lead, and has even continued killing.

At this point Hood is considered a hero by most of Gotham, with the minority calling him a plague upon the city. The Police themselves have even stopped actively searching for the red helmeted hero - whether this is due to their inability to catch him, or as a sign of friendship, it is unclear. Police Commissioner Gordan has not commented on the matter beyond a vague statement of Hood appearing with the bats when the bat signal is deployed.”

“Bat signal?” Clint asked.

Tony typed furiously for a moment before retrieving the answer. “Apparently the police have an industrial spotlight on their roof with the silhouette of a bat on it which they shine when in need of the vigilantes.”

Natasha smirked. “Overkill much?”

Tony shrugged. “Hey, apparently it works.”

“That’s beside the point,” Steve interjected. “We found barely anything on Jason. Sure it says he doesn’t kill anymore, but that doesn’t mean they can be trusted.”

Clint groaned again. “Let me guess, you want us to investigate the family personally?”

Steve nodded. “Nat, I want you to start, you  _ are _ the intelligence expert after all.”

Natasha nodded, though inside she was in turmoil. She wanted to trust these people. She didn’t know why, but she felt connected somehow. Like they were similar in some core way.

Steve nodded right back. “Good. Meet back here in a few hours. See what you can find.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 1/23/20: I didn't understand the Avengers while writing this, and I wasn't fully aware that they actually did kill. Or that the reason Peter Parker isn't able to lift the Hammer is because he DOESN'T kill. So, sorry for that! We'll see if I even get around to rewriting this chapter. Lord knows these earlier ones need LOT's of editing compared to my recent ones.


	5. The Assassins' Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat sets out on her assignment to gather information about the bats, and ends up talking with Damian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late, guys! To make for it, I did a double update! From now on, I think I'll update or perhaps twice a week, to give me time to write and edit everything properly. Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this fic!

Natasha couldn’t seem to find anyone to investigate, which was weird. Usually, when she wanted to find someone, she did. Nat hadn’t seen any of the other Avengers either, which was also strange.

So Natasha wandered the halls of the manor. She had already checked the Cave, though it was also empty.

After half an hour, Natasha turned to the gardens. She wasn’t really searching at that point, only enjoying the early afternoon breeze. But soon enough, she heard sounds of laughter.

Following it, Natsha wound through a shaded path to find a large lawn occupied by the bats, as well as Peter, Banner, and Thor. 

They were in the middle of what seemed to be an extreme version of capture the flag. Nat looked for someone to talk too, but they were all invested in the game. Then she noticed Damian on the sidelines, inside a clearly marked square that must have been the ‘prison’. He looked angry, and seemed to be passing the time by doing drills with his katana. Once again, Natasha was struck by how precise he was.

"Hey kid." 

Damian glanced at Natasha, clearly suspicious.

"Hello Romanoff, do you want something?''

Nat smiled. “Call me Natasha. And no, not really. You looked bored, so I thought I’d offer you some company.” 

Damian scoffed and returned to his drills. Natasha sat down, and was soon joined by a large dog whom she had never seen before. "Is that your dog?" She asked.

Damian nodded stiffly. "Yes his name is Titus." 

Nat looked at Titus with gentle eyes. "Hi Titus." She reached out her hand for the dog to sniff. Titus obliged, and then began to nussle her hand, quickly warming up to Nat.

Damian’s whole demeanor changed at the sight. He relaxed significantly, and even had a soft smile on his face. “He likes you," Damian said as he set his katana aside and joined Natasha on the grass. 

Nat smiled right back at him as she began to pet Titus. "Titus is a great name for him. Latin right?" Damian nodded. "You know the meaning?" 

Damian scoffed. "If I didn't then I wouldn't have named him Titus. An honorable dog deserves a name that literally means `title of honor’." 

Nat chuckled, surprising even herself. "I like you kid, you've got spunk.” She nodded over at the now abandoned katana. Time to see what she could get out of him. “And your fighting technique is impressive."

Damian’s face became a mixture of guarded and prideful. "Of course it is, I was trained to be the best." 

"Well your father sure does a good job." 

Damian pursed his lips and remained silent for a moment before replying. "He didn't train me. I … was trained by my mother." 

Nat looked over at him softly. “The one that Jason blames for him killing?”

Damian scowled. “Yes. My mother is responsible for bringing my brother back from the dead using the Lazarus pit which is … not quite magic. The pit induces its user with enhanced aggression, and memory loss which she utilized to manipulate Todd to her will.”

Natasha sat still for a moment. She really didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, that did partially explain Jason’s references to murder. On the other hand … the woman sounded horrible.

“Why would she do that?” Nat asked quietly.

Damian stroked Titus for a long moment before replying. “My mother is part of a group called The League of Assassins - led by my grandfather - that is dedicated to … saving the world.”

Natasha almost raised an eyebrow at that. Assassins and world-savers really didn’t seem like they would go together well.

“Not like you saved the world,” Damian continued, “But through brutal, unforgiving justice. They wish to reform civilizations across the world into total submission to my grandfather.

“So my mother took it upon herself to take in a newly raised from the dead Jason Todd, train him, and set him upon Gotham. Her point to it all was to harm my father, who is very much against League ideals.”

There was a sudden shout of triumph from the game, and the pair looked over at Tim crowing over a downed Peter Parker. They were silent for a long time, watching the game play out. Finally, Nat took it upon herself to speak.

“I never knew my parents. I grew up in a top secret Soviet-Russian training facility designed to create the perfect operatives, or assassins.” She took a breath as she looked over at Damian.

The boy had shed his smirks and scowls. His eyes were wide and innocent. There was a quality of quiet hope in his face. Like he was amazed that someone else could understand him.

“You’re like me,” he whispered. Then raised his voice slightly. “I was trained from birth. Mother and grandfather wanted me to be the heir. The perfect heir. I was taught every conceivable way to kill, to torture, to withstand any injury.” Damian was no longer looking at Natasha. His eyes showed that he was in another place. Another time.

“We were chained to the bed at night to prevent escape,” Natasha replied. “Sometimes they would make us fight to the death. To weed out the unworthy.”

“Weakness was not tolerated. The moment I made a mistake I was punished. I was to take it willingly.”

“When we trained with guns, they gave us real people to use as targets.”

“Emotions were a liability. I was to never show any, I was never to trust anyone. Not my trainors, not my servants, especially not my own mother.”

“We weren’t to trust each other either. Sometimes they would randomly order to kill your friends, and you had to. Otherwise you were killed.”

Damian sighed. “The worst part was leaving. Mother dumped me with Father -  _ for training  _ she said. I was to learn what I could from him. And I did, I learned a lot. But not what she wanted me to.” He looked over wistfully at his family. “I learned to trust. I had to believe I wasn’t invulnerable. I … I had to learn what it felt like to be …  _ wanted _ .”

Natasha nodded at him, though he wasn’t looking at her. “Clint was sent to kill me, after I had been an operative for a while. I was the best, so people began to take notice. So S.H.I.E.L.D. sent Barton to eliminate me. But when he found me, he didn’t. He … had mercy on me. Something I had never known. He recruited me. I worked with him, and S.H.I.E.L.D. to help people instead of killing them. I had to relearn almost everything.”

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while. Neither bothering to pity the other. Just enjoying the companionship of another like them.

Then Nat spoke up again. "I'm not good with …" Natasha paused trying to find the right words. "Comfort. But, I understand" 

Damian looked at her, then nodded. “I understand as well.”

They sat together for a while, looking at the game progressing. They talked about their lives, and even started to explain their families as well. Damian talked briefly about Bruce’s tragic childhood experiences, as well as Dick’s. He went into detail of Jason’s death and then resurrection. Tim’s becoming Robin. His neglectful family. Damian explained Cassandra’s past, and how Duke lost his parents. He mentioned Stephanie and Barbara, and how they joined the vigilante life as well. He didn’t go into detail, though, saying that their stories were not his to tell. 

In return, Natasha talked about befriending Clint. How Steve became Captain America. How Tony built his suit. Banner’s experiments, and how he became the Hulk. How Thor found himself on Earth. What she knew of Peter, and how he became Spiderman. 

“Do you trust me?” Damian asked, looking over at Nat when she had finished speaking.

Natasha smiled. “Yes. I’m assuming that’s what your goal was?”

Damian had the nerve to not look apologetic. “We may or may not have overheard your entire conversation after lunch.”

Nat nodded, she had figured as much. The Boy had been almost a bit too loose lipped in the beginning. But she could tell that as the conversation went on, he spoke freely because he wanted to, and not because he was trying to supply info.

“Did you draw the short straw?” Natasha asked. 

Damian scowled. “T-t, no. Father said that if any of you were to question us or our motives, we should hold nothing back. You had the nerve to approach me first.”

Natasha laughed freely and ruffled the boy’s hair. He frowned, but didn’t push her hand away.

“Do you trust me now?” He asked, tentatively.

Natasha paused and tilted her head. “Yes, I think I do. You didn’t lie to me, I know that.” Damian rolled his eyes, and Natasha smirked a bit. “But also, you and I are similar. I don’t think I could distrust you if I tried.”

Damian nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Good, I would not want to disappoint Father.”

Natasha smiled. “I don’t think he would be disappointed if I didn’t trust you. He seems quite reasonable.”

Damian outright snorted. “Say that again when I have a slight cold and he won’t let me on patrol. He can be quite unreasonable in mother-hen mode. Not unlike Grayson, unfortunately.”

Nat chuckled. “He loves you. That’s important.” There was another shout of victory from the field, then Natasha continued. “What about me? Trust goes both ways, you know.”

Damian frowned in concentration. “Yes, I believe you have earned some trust. I don’t know about Stark though, he seems … unstable.”

Natasha couldn’t help but outright laugh at that statement. After a moment of surprise, Damian joined in. 

“That,” Natasha said between huge gasps of laughter, “Is by far the  _ best _ thing I have heard in a long time.”

“Do you deny it?” Damian asked.

Natasha was almost crying from laughter. “No, not in a million years.”

Damian smiled at Nat. “Thank you, Romanoff. For talking. I believe you will make a valuable ally.”

“Call me Natasha, kid. Or Nat. Or Tasha. I don’t care. But not Romanoff. Friends aren’t so formal.”

Damian furrowed his brows for a moment before relaxing. “Very well, Tasha. We are now friends?”

Natasha smiled at Damian. “If you want to be.”

The boy pet Titus for a few thoughtful moments. “Very well. I accept. Together, we shall be a formidable force.”

Nat chuckled, ruffling the kid’s hair once again. This time, he didn’t bother frowning. 

Just then, a voice called from the field. They both looked over to find Dick running up to them. “Dami! I’m so sorry! I thought someone had gotten you out! Well, the game’s over. Want to join in the next round?”

“T-t. Of course you forgot. If this had been in the field, I could have been killed by now.”

Dick smiled easily at his little brother. “So, what do you say?”

Damian glanced at Nat before replying. “Very well, I shall partake once again in your childish games, Grayson.” Then he smirked. “But I demand that Tasha be on my team. Since you are clearly untrustworthy.”

Dick looked curiously over at Natasha, a small smile on his face. “Sure Lil’ D. Let’s go.”

He motioned for the pair to follow him, then turned and ran off back toward the field. 

Damian looked over at Nat. “You _ will _ be on my team?” He looked like he was trying to hide how hopeful he was.

Natasha got up and offered her hand to Damian. “Together, we shall be a formidable force, right?”

Damian grinned at her and accepted her hand. “Our reign of terror shall be legendary.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy with how this turned out. I think that its a fast paced, but I'm really enjoying Nat and Dami time! I think the next chapter will focus on Tim and Peter. Would anyone be against it being from Tim's POV?


	6. Blooming Bromance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim hangs out with the youngest Avenger. A bromance is blooming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do any of you have any tips or suggestions for writing Kate Kane? I am planning on including her in the next chapter.

A/N

Do any of you have any tips or suggestions for writing Kate Kane? I am planning on including her in the next chapter.

Tim sighed into his mug of coffee. Everyone in his family - minus Stephanie and Babs, since they didn’t live at the manor - had been gathered in the cave to discuss the ongoing conversation between some of the interdimensional visitors. They - consisting of Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, and Tony Stark - seemed to have been really freaked out by some of Jason’s snide comments, and were now discussing if the bats were in fact trustworthy.

Tim blamed Jason for this whole mess. Jason couldn’t hold his stupid tounge, so now Bruce had called everyone - after Cass told him what was happening - together to spy on their guests and work out a plan.

Their conversation wasn’t that interesting either. It was everyone going back and forth, never changing their own arguments. The most interesting thing that happened was when Stark hopped on a computer and started to do research on them. Not that they found much.

“No way in f*** are we amicable!” Jason exclaimed when the article was brought up and read aloud.

“Aw, you sure little wing?” Dick asked, elbowing Jason.

“T-t,” Damian said, rolling his eyes. “Will you two imbeciles shut up? I’m trying to listen.”

Turns out there wasn’t much more. As soon as the Avengers dispersed, Tim turned off the computer. “Now what?”

Cass frowned. “They need trust. Show them.”

Bruce nodded. “Yes, it would be best if they trust us, as we are the ones sending them home. Lack of trust might provoke unnecessary responses from them. It would be best if we can work well together.”

“Show them.” Cass repeated vehemitaly.

“I agree with Cass,” Tim replied. “We shouldn’t just tell them to trust us. That could be taken quite badly. We need to show them.”

“How?” Duke asked. “I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but you are definitely not good at showing your emotions well.”

Bruce sighed heavily. “Yes, Duke, you have made that abundantly clear in the past.” Duke smiled at that, looking rather sheepish. Bruce frowned in concentration. “Let them make the first move. If they try to question you, don’t hold anything back. Try to be friendly.” Tim noticed he directed that last part at Damian and Jason. 

“Don’t hold anything back?” Jason asked, an evil smirk growing on his face. Tim shuddered inwardly at whatever gruesome tale Jason was planning on sharing.

“Within reason,” Bruce growled.

Duke stood up. “Well, that sounds good for you guys, but I have Gotham to patrol.” Duke strolled off with a decidedly self satisfied smile on his face. He clearly thought that he was getting out of sharing his life story.

Bruce sighed once more. “Very well, Duke. Good luck.” 

Duke nodded his thanks as he made his way to the changing rooms to get ready for his patrol.

*****

“Dude, this is incredible!” Peter had given Tim a chance to look at his web-shooters, and Tim was being a total fangirl over it.

“Thanks,” Peter replied, seeming quite proud. “The basic design is mine, Mr. Stark supplied some improvements though.”

Tim nodded as he continued to examine the device. “Are these veins turbine pumps?”

Peter grinned. “Yup! They compress the web fluid before shooting it out through the spinneret holes which cold-draws the solution and extrudes it through the air, where it solidifies.”

“And during the process the nylon gains a four-fold increase in tensile strength?”

“Exactly!”

Tim shook his head at the brilliance. “Wow, this is utterly brilliant!”

“Thanks! Do you want to see the chemical formula?” Peter asked. He seemed really eager to talk about it with someone his own age.

“Of course!” Tim hit his forehead. “Gosh, I’m sorry! I completely forgot you came to me to see if we could make more.”

Peter shrugged, “no worries. I’m glad you like the devices.”

Tim reached over to one of the coffee tables in the sitting room they were occupying and handing it to Peter, who promptly began to write down the formula.

Upon seeing it, Tim gasped uncontrollably. “Oh my god, this is the greatest thing I have seen in a long time!” Peter had to be a genius to come up with this, Tim decided.

Peter grinned at Tim. “Really?”

“Totally!” 

“You guys done fangirling?” A voice came from the door. “ ‘cause we have some people to decimate!”

Tim looked over to find Jason leaning against the doorframe, two nerf guns in hand.

“Decimate?” Peter asked.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Capture the flag on the back lawn in five. Bring whatever non-lethal weapons you want. You can get ‘em approved before the game starts.” And with that, he strolled off.

“You guys play Capture The Flag?” Peter looked excited.

Tim stood up, organizing the notes, then setting them aside. “Yup! It can get pretty wild though. Think you can handle it?”

Peter grinned. “I think so.”

*****

“Welcome to the 67th annual Bat Fa-”

“It's not annual and you know it Dick.”

Dick pouted as he looked over at Tim. “Come on, Timbo, let me have this!”

“Drake is correct, Grayson. You are acting idiotically.”

Tim glanced over at Damian. “You’re admitting I’m right?”

Damian glowered at his brother. “Of course not.”  
“But you jus-”

“Are we playing or not?” Someone had managed to rope Bruce into the game, but he was being pretty snippy about it.

Dick sighed, looking defeated. “Fine. Capture the flag. You all know how to play?” Everyone nodded, except Thor.

“I am unfamiliar with this specific midgardian game.”

Dick nodded. “Ok, that’s fine. Good chance to go over the rules anyway. There are two teams, each take one side of the playing area. So each team has a flag, or item of some sort that they each place in a visible yet defendable position. Part of the team defends their flag, while the other part attempts to steal their opponents’. If you get caught on the opposite team's territory, they put you in jail. Only one of your teammates can get you out, by tapping you. Get it?” 

Everyone nodded. “Good. A few extra rules that must be followed,” Dick looked pointedly at Jason and Damian as he continued, “ include: no maiming. Serious injuries of most kinds are off limits. Lethal weapons are also out, unless you know how to use them nonlethally. You are also not allowed to leave the playing area at any point. Nor are you allowed to use cookies as bait in any traps. Especially Alfred’s cookies.” 

Dick looked pointedly at Tim during the last rule, much to Tim’s chagrin. It had been one time! 

“And finally, no touching Alfred’s shrubbery.” Everyone with the exception of the Avengers cringed at that. “Everyone understand?”

There was a chorus of “Yups” “Yes’s” and “f*** yeah, b****!” Tim didn’t need to be the world’s second greatest detective to guess where that last one came from.

“Good,” Dick said, grinning. “We’ll have two teams. Captains are Bruce and me. Let’s get into a line and start dividing.”

Tim got in line, grumbling slightly. A few of the Avengers had also joined, specifically Peter, Thor, and Banner. Tim wasn’t sure how much of a help Banner could be without “Hulking out” as Peter put it, but the guy seemed smart. It seemed like it would be an interesting game. 

“Lil’ D!” Dick called, quite predictably. Damian grumbled and walked over to Dick’s side.

Bruce took longer to choose. He examined the faces of each person, one by one. “Tim.” Tim smiled, he had been expecting Dick to choose him, but with Bruce, Tim didn’t have to deal with the demon brat.

Dick chose Thor next, then Bruce chose Jason. They continued back and forth till Dick’s team consisted of Damian, Thor, and Banner. Bruce had chosen Tim, Jason, and Peter. Cassandra had opted to Referee the game, much to everyone’s relief. They could play everyone against Cass, and his sister would still win.

“Flags?” Cass asked once everyone had assembled with their teams.

“I got these from Alfred!” Dick said as he grabbed two large banners from beside a tree. One was Green, the other Blue.

Cass nodded. “You get Blue. Bruce, green.” Once Dick had handed the other banner to Bruce, Cass continued. “Ten minutes to plan and hide flags. Then go.”

They split up, Tim following right behind Bruce. “Ideas?” he asked when they were all in the cover of the trees that they had chosen for their side.

“The flag will go up in the old oak tree, as high as you can get it, Peter. I want Jason on Guard Duty near the tree, I’ll be farther out doing a border patrol. Tim and Peter, you’re both on infiltration duty. Skirt the sides as much as possible. Dick will most likely be trying to cross over, avoid him if you can. Watch out for Damian, too. He'll be joining Dick. Thor will most likely be guarding their flag along with Banner. He won’t be able to resist the pun. They should be pretty easy to take down.” Bruce paused for a moment, thinking. “Dick will probably place his banner somewhere near the westward fountain. Use the ivy wall to the east as cover.”

Everyone nodded, and separated. Peter scrambled up the oak tree with ease, and placed the banner at the literal top. It’d be almost impossible for anyone to reach it, but Tim knew Dick would love the challenge.

A couple minutes later, the guard routes were established, and Tim had shown Peter the way to the flag by drawing a diagram in the dirt. Tim quickly wiped it away, however, when Cass sounded an Airhorn. Tim had no idea where she had gotten it, but didn’t bother trying to figure it out. Tim sprinted to the side almost immediately, Peter right behind them. They wove through the trees, keeping to the shadows. Peter wasn’t nearly as stealthy as Tim, but they both kept out of sight.

Right as they were about to cross over the border, Tim stopped them. “Let’s get an aerial view before we proceed.”

“Sounds good,” Peter replied as they started to climb a nearby tree. Turns out it was the right choice, because they were awarded front row seats to Bruce grabbing Damian by his collar.

“Not today, Damian. You’re going to jail.” Bruce smiled fondly as he carried his youngest son away from the border and off to the previously chosen prison.

“Grayson!” Damian shreeked. “How dare you abandon me! Unhand me this instant, Father! Grayson! You shall rue the day I make my escape! This insult has not gone unnoticed! I refuse to be kept against my will by plebeians! You had better drop everything to assist me Grayson, or -” 

Damian’s outraged voice slowly faded away as he was hauled off.

“Oof,” Peter said. “Think Dick will get him out?”

Tim snorted before shaking his head. “Knowing Dick, he’ll be remorseful for a bit before completely forgetting about the kid.”

Peter nodded. “Well, one less person we have to deal with, right?”

Tim grinned. “Yup! We should probably get going.”

*****

“Mmff! Mfffff-mmmf!” 

“I think we did a good job, whattaya say, bug-boy?” Tim and Peter grinned down at a bound and gagged Thor and Banner. Both trying and failing to escape their bonds.

“I think we did quite well, bird-boy.” Peter replied. “But we should probably get going.”

Tim nodded as he plucked the banner from atop the fountain, right where Bruce said it would be.

“Let’s go!” they race off towards the border.

It didn’t take them long for them to reach the wide patch of grass marked with a hastily placed length of rope, but their path was blocked. Thor had managed to get out of Peter’s webs, and chased after them. He stood facing them, his hammer out, pointing at their chests. 

“Halt! I must not allow you any further.”

Tim grinned. “Bet I can take him down first.”

Peter grinned right back. “You’re on!”

Togather, they charged the norse god. Peter was flipped over Thor’s shoulder, shooting his webs out and pulling Thor’s helmet over his eyes, though he quickly pulled it up again. Tim unleashed a flurry of batarangs, which Thor dodged. This, however, set him off balance. Tim activated a smoke bomb, and expertly navigated the limited visuals to attack Thor, who was in the process of throwing Peter to the ground.

When the smoke cleared, Thor was once again on his back, taken down by Tim. Peter was also on his back. 

“You okay there, Peter?”

Peter groaned and rolled over. “Yup. You won, though.”

Tim crowed. “Hah! Yeah, I did!” He offered his hand to his downed companion. You did a good job too though. We make a great team.”

Peter stood, and together they crossed over the border holding the banner just as Dick came out of the trees being chased by both Jason and Bruce.

“Aw, crap.” Dick said upon seeing Peter and Tim already back on their own territory. 

Almost immediately, Cass appeared. A newly freed Banner also appeared. Well, he limped out of the trees.

“Team Grumpy Wins,” Cass says triumphantly. It took a moment for Tim to realise what she had said. 

“Wait, I thought we didn’t use team names?”

Cass smiled and pointed at Bruce. “Grumpy.” She then turned to Dick. “Happy.”

Jason smirked. “That’s an accurate assessment.” 

He and Cass high-fived.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dick said good naturedly. “Good job guys. You up for another round?”

“Different teams this time,” Tim replied.

Dick smiled, “Sounds good! Maybe Dami should lead this time.” Dick’s eyes widened. “Crap! Damian!”

Everyone burst into laughter as Dick sprinted towards Team Grumpy’s jail. 


	7. A Batwoman to His Batman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clint befriends a bat, is carried along in the family's shenanigans, and assumptions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so sorry for the late update! I had serious writers block for a while, and then I was too busy to get a solid writing session in. But this won't happen for the next chapter! Its one of the first things I wrote for this pic, and is mostly done, so the wait won't be so long.
> 
> Anything underlined is ASL

Clint had been wandering the manor since the 'meeting' with his teammates took place earlier that afternoon, not really trying to find anyone. The Manor was large, and provided many interesting experiences to an adventurer. Clint tried to stick to the back corridors, despite not knowing which actual were not used often. Everything was so immaculately dusted, that it was impossible to tell whether they were out of use or not.

It was during these wanderings that he happened upon the Wayne’s butler: Alfred. The man was dutifully dusting a blue chinese vase, but looked up as Clint approached.

“Hello, Mr. Barton.” Alfred said with a dip of his head. “Is there something I may assist you with?”

Clint shook his head, “No thanks, Alfred I’m just wandering.”

The old man had a knowing twinkle in his eye. “Avoiding your teammates, I assume?”

Clint laughed lightly. “Yeah, you could say that. We aren’t agreeing on something at the moment, and I don’t really want to see any of ‘em.”

Alfred hummed in affirmation as he continued to dust. “Mr. Rogers is in the east wing, and Mr. Stark is in the north. I believe you are safe.”

Clint opened his mouth to ask how the old brit knew who he was specifically avoiding, but then Alfred winked.

“What about Nat,” he asked instead.

Alfred raised an eyebrow. “I was unaware you and Miss Romanoff were also quaraling.” Clint shrugged, and Alfred continued. “Either way she is out in the garden, talking to Master Damian. She seems to be bonding quite well with the boy.”

Clint couldn’t shake the feeling that Alfred knew _exactly_ what he and the others had discussed in the library. The archer shifted from one foot to the other as he replied.

“Well, that’s good, I suppose.”

Alfred nodded as he continued his work, Clint following behind. They made their way into a nearby sitting room, and Alfred began to clean the couch. After a moment, he casually .3reached in between the cushions and retrieved a handful of red arrows, not unlike the kind that Clint himself used.

Alfred sighed. “It appears Master Roy has been leaving his weaponry around the house again.”

“There’s another kid?” Clint asked.

“No, Master Roy is one of Master Jason’s friends. Another vigilante, who’s main weapon is a bow.” Alfred got another twinkle in his eye. “Take these, you might as well use them.”

Clint took the arrows, confused. “What will I use them for? I’m not going to be here for all that long.”

Alfred smiled. “The family is currently partaking in a game of Capture the Flag in the gardens, and should be finishing up their current round soon. Perhaps you could join them?”

Clint considered for a moment. There was a very high chance that he might run into Tony or Steve at the game. But they would be around other people. Plus, the game sounded strangely … fun. He couldn’t imagine how a game played by trained vigilantes would play out.”

“Sure,” Clint said. “I have nothing better to do.”

*****

Clint was starting to regret his decision. After running back to his room (After Alfred gave him directions, because the manor was a freaking maze!) to grab his bow and other supplies, he headed out to the gardens to find a virtual _warzone_. The grass was smoking in different parts, while in others the fire was visible. Several people were coming together at the line of rope, from the way they were smiling, the game seemed to be done. No one seemed to be seriously injured, though Banner was emerging from the woods to Clint’s right with an obvious limp.

The only people who didn’t join in were Natasha and Damian, who were sitting on the sidelines far from the assembled players. Suddenly, Dick ran off to Nat and Damian, leaving the others to laugh.

Clint began to walk down the paths to join the group, intent to ask admittance. Thor and Peter were also with the family, though there was no sign of Steve or Tony. Cassandra turned upon his approach, looked him over, and smiled. She then raised her hands and - much to Clint's surprise - began to sign.

“Have you come to join?” She asked.

Clint nodded and signed back. “Yes, Alfred sent me. He gave me some extra ammunition.” He gestured to the red arrows in his quiver.

Cassandra laughed. “Roy.” She stated, rather than asked. Clint nodded anyway.

Cassandra turned to the others. “He joins. My team.” 

Bruce nodded. “Sure, Maybe you can lead a team next round.”

Clint felt strangely honored to be chosen by the girl. 

Soon others joined them. Dick returned with Nat and Damian, who kept grinning at each other. Clint was instantly terrified. Tony came soon after, looking unsure what he was doing there. He was quickly followed by Steve, who had his shield with him, along with Alfred. Clint assumed the butler had roped both heroes into joining in his weird way. If Clint didn’t know any better, he’d think the Brit had some sort of superpower. Unless being british _was_ his superpower …. 

“This round,” Bruce (Wayne) announced, calling the group to attention, “the team captains are Cass and Damian. Please line up so they can choose their teammates.”

Damian looked indignant. “Cain? Why is she allowed to lead a team?”

Dick grinned as he ruffled his brother’s hair. “Worried she’ll kick your butt?”

Damian looked like that was exactly what he was worried about, but then Nat leaned down and whispered something in his ear. Damian immediately brightened. “Very well, you may lead a team. But I get an extra player.”

Cass grinned. “Okay. You still lose. But okay.” Clint was impressed by her confidence.

Everyone lined up, with the exception of the team leaders, and the teams were chosen. Cass immediately went for Clint, and Damian went for Natasha. After that, Cass got Tim, Dick, Bruce Wayne, and Peter. Damian chose Jason, Steve, Tony, Bruce Banner, and Thor.

Alfred had appeared out of nowhere once the teams were chosen, and sent everyone to their separate sides. Once the teams were set, the old butler blew an airhorn. Capture the Flag had begun.

*****

The game was unlike anything Clint had ever partaken in before. Cass barely spoke, but she clearly laid out her plans for the game. She left only Bruce to guard the flag, focussing more on offence. Tim, Dick, and Peter ran an infiltration on the east flank, intending to draw the enemy aside. Meanwhile, Clint and Cass were the stealth team going along the west side.

It became apparent as soon as Clint and Cass crossed the border that the enemy team - Cass insisted on calling them Team Stabby - was in shambles. Banner was wandering around the woods, apparently without instructions. It wasn’t even a challenge to sneak past him. Later on, the pair was hunkered in a tree, where Clint rained tranq arrows upon Steve and Tony. 

Jason was harder to get, he kept dodging Clint’s shots with near superhuman speed. But then Cass dropped down from beside Clint, and Jason let out the most girly shriek and after a split second battle, Cass knocked him unconscious. Clint was struck by her abilities. It was as if she’d been able to see exactly what moves Jason would try before he even started. It was creepy, yet entirely awe inspiring. Clint understood at that moment why Damian had been scared.

The rest of the game was even more chaotic. Damian and Natasha seemed to have broken off from their team, and was terrorizing anyone that game in their way. They fought like they had known each other for years, Clint had watched from a tree as they took down Tim and Peter. They were so in sync, right down to the creepily identical grins on their faces.

Cass wisely stayed out of the pair’s vicinity. The only other person they had to worry about was Thor, though he was easily incapacitated care of Cassandra’s freaky ninja skills. It took them almost half an hour to find and retrieve the flag, but they eventually made it. Clint only had to reshoot Steve once.

Their effort was for naught, however. When Cassandra and Clint raced back to the border, they found Nat and Damian sitting back on their turf, playing rock paper scissors beside a moaning pile of defeated enemies. At least, that’s what Clint saw at first. On closer inspection, there were several of the duo’s own teammates on the mound.

Cass didn’t seem too perturbed however. She frowned for a moment at Damian - who was smirking smugly - before shrugging.

“I thought you said we’d win,” Clint said, not disappointed, but curious. The young woman had seemed so confident before.

Cass grinned. “Let him,” She said, gesturing to the boy before plopping down on the grass beside her brother.

“Good win, Dami.”

Damian puffed up with pride, a hesitant smile on his face. “I completely annihilated you, didn’t I?”

Cass patted him on his head. “Fun?” she asked.

Damian shrugged. “It was acceptable.” Clint realized why Cass let him win, the boy seemed genuinely happy. Though other people clearly weren’t.

“Acceptable?!” Jason asked, rising from where he had been previously piled atop Dick. “I was on your own f***ing team, Demon Brat!”

“You were slowing us down,” Nat replied for Damian, a coy smile on her face.

Damian nodded. “Tasha is correct, you needed to be dealt with before you ruined anything.”

Clint raised his eyes at what Damian had called the russian. “Tasha, eh?”

Damian glared at the archer, and Clint was tempted to go hide behind Cass. “Yes, Tasha. You have a problem, Barton?”

Clint gulped. “Nope kid, I’m good.”

Natasha smiled proudly at Damian. Great, he just lost his best friend to a prepubescent tween.

"Perhaps it would be prudent to go to the cave and provide medical attention to those who require it?" Alfred asked, appearing out of nowhere.

Damian shrugged. "Very well, we shall care for the weaklings."

*****

"Why'd you have to hit so hard?" Dick asked as Alfred tended to his bruised shoulder.

Most of the other people we're similarly injured, Natasha and Damian have most definitely not pulled their punches. The only person who seemed to have escaped the same fate other than him, Cass, and the two culprits, was Bruce Wayne. He had appeared from the woods after Clint and Cass, with only the barest limp. The man refused to say what happened, but the twin evil grins on Nat's and Damian's faces told plenty.

"Your low tolerance to punches continues to amaze me, Richard." Damian said from across the cave, where he was introducing his pet cow - Clint had yet to get over the fact that there was a cow in the cave - to Natasha. 

“Boys, please.” Wayne sighed from where he was bandaging Peter’s ankle. “Damian, you and Miss Romanoff might have been a tad overzealous -” there were several snorts from the med bay’s patients - “but you shouldn’t completely blame him, Dick. You should have been able to defend yourself.”

Dick shook his head. “Against both of them?” He gave Bruce a pointed look, and the older man seemed to find it wise to stop talking. He just shook his head and continued to work.

“Cows are affectionate and forgiving, and love to be petted, stroked and scratched behind the ears.” Damian said as he showed off his cow to Natasha. It was hard to believe this was the same kid that beat up almost every single Avenger.

Natasha nodded at the boy as she copied his movements. There was a quiet smile on her face. She really liked the kid.

Almost everyone was patched up when a quiet roar emerged from one of the tunnels. Emerging from it were two figures atop motorcycles. The first was Duke in his Signal uniform. His motorcycle was bright yellow with black accents. 

The second person was a stranger. She rode a sleek black cycle with a red bat on it, which she parked next to Duke’s. They made their way up to the medical bay, allowing Clint to get a better view. She was dressed in a black bodysuit like the others had worn, this one with a cowl like Batman’s or Black Bat’s. But this one had an opening on the back, releasing a cascade of fiery red hair. She also had a red bat on her chest, a red utility belt, along with boots and gloves. Her cape was black, lined with red. 

“She showed up on patrol and insisted on coming back with me,” Duke said, a sheepish smile on his face once he took off his helmet. Bruce just grunted.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Bruce.” The woman said, a smirk on her face. “Duke’s telling the truth. I just wanted to see the family, is that a crime?”

“You patrol during the night. There is no way you just happened upon Duke.”

The woman shrugged. “So I wanted a change. It's not too big of a deal if people see Batwoman out during the day.”

Bruce shook his head. “You can stop pretending, Kate. We both know perfectly well what you’re doing here.”

The woman walked slowly forward till she and Wayne were barely inches apart. She looked up at him, and he looked down at her. They stared at each other for a long moment. Then, quick as a flash, her hand darted up and she tapped him on the nose. 

“Boop!” She said cheerily.

Bruce sighed and shook his head. “When will you stop doing that?”

Batwoman gasped jokingly, then turned around and fell backwards dramatically against Bruce. “Oh, how my love has been scorned!” Bruce caught her, a quiet smile on his face. 

“I’ve scorned you?” The man asked, a smirk growing on his face, “You haven’t come by in weeks! I was worried the next time I’d see you was at the wedding.”

This sent a shock through the avengers. Was the broody, tired-dad™, Bruce Wayne dating this playful version of his own alter ego? Tony was the one who voiced the thought, leaning over to Nat and asking in a not-quite-subtle voice: “A Batwoman to his Batman?”

The reaction was instantaneous. All of the batkids burst into laughter - even Damian chuckled a bit - while Bruce and Batwoman - kate? - floundered, Bruce almost dropping the dramatic woman.

“Oh god no!” the woman said, in a cross between horrified, and extremely amused.

“I have a fiance,” Bruce broke in.

“I’m gay!” Batwoman said, throwing her hands up.

“We’re cousins,” Wayne added.

“I’m gay!” Batwoman repeated.

Tony grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.”

Nat elbowed him. “That’s exactly what you meant to do.”

Tony shrugged. “Sorry anyway.”

Bruce nodded. “No harm done.”

“Yes harm done!” Batwoman said. “I’m scarred for life! Me? With Bruce Wayne? Mr. Emotionally-Constipated? Me with a man? Bah!”

“Not to mention we’re related,” Bruce grumbled.

Batwoman shrugged. “I didn’t come here to argue Brucie-Poo.” She looked around at the Avengers, a grin on her face. After a moment, she reached up and removed her cowl, along with the wig she had apparently been wearing. Her actual hair was quite shorter - shoulder length - but still the same shade of red. “I’m Kate Kane, Bruce’s cousin. Also known as Batwoman, and one of the numerous pains in the a** for Mr. Pouty over there.”

Bruce grumbled something under his breath as the Avengers stepped forward and introduced themselves.

“Hey Aunt Kate, now that you’ve met the dimension jumpers - which is clearly what you came here to do -” Jason rolled his eyes before continuing, “are you staying for dinner?” He asked with a grin on his face.

Kate smiled. “Not today, Jaybird. I can stay for a while, though.”

“Got a hot date?” Dick asked, smirking.

Kate winked, “you know it!”

The conversation continued for a while, and Clint found that he really liked Kate. Gradually, everyone floated upstairs. Alfred had prepared tea, which was positively scrumptious. Around five thirty, Kate headed out, saying she needed to pick up her girlfriend, Renee.

The house became quiet for the most part - there were still random screeches and yelling, though Cassandra treated it as normal. Clint had joined the girl on a sofa after a while, and they were both sitting quietly. After a moment, Clint asked a question he had been wanting to ask for a while.

“Are you and Kate related? You have the same last name.”

Cassandra shook her head. “Spelled differently,” she signed. “I am C-A-I-N, she is K-A-N-E. Still family, though. She is our aunt.”

Ah, that answered it. They lapsed back into silence after a while, when Cass spoke.

“You’re bored. What do you do … home?”

Clint tilted his head. He was quite flattered that the girl seemed to care. “I like shooting, I guess.”

Cass shook her head. “No training. _Fun_.”

Then, Clint had an idea. “This is a big house, right?” Cass didn’t roll her eyes, only nodding along respectfully. “So, is it safe to assume you have air vents?”

The girl’s eyes widened with excitement, and a grin broke across her face. “Maybe,” she said slyly, and Clint grinned right back.


	8. The Cat Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sweet family bonding moment is interrupting by a stunning new arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made THIS* poll on Quotev about what ships I want to include later on in this fic, and I would REALLY appreciate it if you take it. Don't worry, this is still a Gen story, but I'd really like to include some background ships (Apart from BatCat, which I've already included). So I'm leaving it up to my readers! Note that if any of these are included, they will not be the main focus. Just enough to satisfy my little fangirl heart! (either they'll show up a couple times, or only be implied/referenced. Nothing quite as heavy as this chapter, i don't think)
> 
> *https://www.quotev.com/quiz/12889028/BatfamAvengers-Crossover-Pairings-Poll

Later that night, after everyone had eaten dinner, Natasha was sitting in the library reading a book that she'd found. Bruce Wayne was also there, though neither had spoken to each other. Around seven o’clock, Damian padded hesitantly into the room. 

He walked up to his father and held out a book. “Father, I request that you would read to me. That awful book currently in your possession will not do so I have procured one of my own from Todd.”

Natasha indulged herself in a small smile at the words. She had yet to see Damian act like a child, so this small moment of vulnerability was clearly special.

Bruce seemed to agree as he set down his book - some Parental manual that Damian seemd very offended by - and gestured for Damian to join him. The boy crawled into his father’s lap and handed him the book. Bruce opened it and began to read. Natahsa recognized it immediately as Harry Potter, or at least very similar to the book series from her earth.

Bruce read softly to his son, yet his words carried. Natasha set down her own book and began to listen. She was not the only one to have the same idea, apparently, as others began to join them.

Cassandra was first, slipping soundlessly down from the ceiling through a vent, and resting in an armchair by the door. She had a soft smile on her face. She brought with her Clint, who also dropped down from the vents. Nat smirked at her best friend, knowing how much he enjoyed sneaking through the walls of places.

Dick and Jason arrived in short succession, the former climbing into a loveseat, and the later collapsing in an armchair.

Tim came in a little while later and joined Cassandra in the huge chair. 

He was quickly followed by a bewildered looking Thor, who didn’t seem to understand why he was there. But he stayed anyway, sitting near Natasha.

Tony came in alone. He too looked unsure, but the warm, content atmosphere of the room was compelling, and joined in. Tony chose to sit on one of the assorted couches. 

Banner wandered in soon after, and didn’t even hesitate before taking his place.

Duke came in next, and he was clearly prepared. He carried a mountain of blankets and pillows which he passed around silently before sitting next to Dick on the loveseat.

Steve came in with Peter, the former sitting with a blanket and pillows on the floor, the latter sitting with Tony. Natasha smiled to herself to see Tony wrap his arm around Peter. They may deny it, but they were adorable in father-son mode.

The group sat there, for at least an hour, completely comfortable. Alfred had come in, stoking up the fireplace which made the whole library toasty. He had gone a step further by preparing hot chocolate for everyone, in mismatched mugs. He later sat on the opposite side of Cassandra, clearly enjoying himself, yet prepared to get up and assist anyone who was in need of him.

Bruce had just gotten to when Harry met the Weasley's when every single bat and bird stiffened. Natasha, who had started to blink sleepily, almost jumped out of her chair from the sudden change in atmosphere. She looked around, searching for whatever was wrong. The other Avengers seemed just as confused as she was. Especially when Bruce Wayne started to smile. Not the soft ones reserved for his children, but an anticipatory type of smile. He was quickly joined by everyone except Damian, who just harrumphed, and Jason, who rolled his eyes humorously.

“Well look who missed me.” Came a feminine voice from the doorway. Nat looked up to see a gorgeous woman with a black pixie cut and green eyes. She wore a tight black dress, tall heels, and a flirtatious smirk.

“Miss Kyle,” Alfred was the first to speak as he rose from his seat. “How good to see you! Why, I was expecting you tomorrow morning at the earliest.”

“Good to see you too, Alfred. And We finished up early in New York.” She turned to Cassandra as she strolled easily into the room. “How are you, my dear? Did the boys behave themselves?”

Cassandra smirked right back before shrugging and making a so-so gesture with her hand. 

Selina sighed. “That’s to be expected.” She looked to Tim next. “What about you, Did you close that business deal with LexCorp?”

Tim snorted. “Yeah, you could say that. They were a**holes as always.”

She nodded. “Good job dealing with them, I know I couldn’t.” Tim snorted one again as she turned to Dick. “What about you, Dick? Have you had any luck with the reporters?”

Dick’s face turned uncharacteristically dark. “They refuse to see reason.” Jason choked on his hot chocolate, but was quickly silenced by a glare from his older brother. He returned to a cheerful smile as he finished. “Other than that I’ve been great. Missed you though.”

“Aren’t you sweet?” The woman walked in a bit more before questioning Duke. “Have they driven you crazy yet?”

“Not yet, thankfully. But I’m _this close_.” He gave about a centimeter of space between his fingertips as he glared jokingly at the rest of the bats.

“You’re not the only one,” she said before looking at Jason. “Kill anyone important while I was away?”

Jason scowled, though it seemed in good humor. “Does that potted plant Dick gave me count?” 

Dick gave an outraged squawk as the woman chuckled. “Don’t tell Ivy about that one.”

The woman turned toward Bruce and Damian with feline grace. Damian sat up and glared at the woman, though it was softer than usual.

“Damian.”

“Harlot.” Natasha gasped at his language, but the woman didn’t seem to mind. In fact, her smirk grew.

“How were the cats, darling?”

“Perfect as always,” He replied with a hint of pride in his voice. “And better than the present company.”

The woman nodded. “They always are.”

“Isis missed you,” Damian added, almost tentatively. “Drake said otherwise, but I know it's true.”

She tilted her head solemnly. “Of course she did. I don’t doubt you, kitten.”

Damian nodded as he got up off his father, allowing Bruce to stand. The woman stalked towards him once more till there was barely an inch of space between them. There was a weighted silence before Bruce smiled once again. Then he leaned down and kissed her.

Nat was only slightly surprised, after meeting Kate Kane. But she remembered Bruce had mentioned a fiance. Perhaps this was the woman?

Not everyone was so thoughtful, however. There was an instant uproar from the kiss, surprisingly from Bruce’s own sons.

“Come on B!” Jason said. “In front of everyone?”

“Get a room!” Tim called.

“There are young eyes here!” Dick called.

“Yes, like Grayson,” Damian added, a smirk on his face.

“Hey!” 

Duke only sighed. “I’m kind of with Jay on this one Bruce, right in front of everyone? I know you haven’t seen each other in a week, but there are guests.”

Bruce and the mystery woman just kissed through it all. Finally the woman pulled away. Her smirk had been replaced by a full fledged smile. 

“Miss me?” She asked.

“Of course.” 

She turned back to the boys. “I’m sorry Dick, I know you’re sensitive about these things.” Dick let out an outraged sound and the woman high fived a partially reluctant Damian. Then she turned to the Avengers. “You must be the interdimensional travellers. I’m Selina Kyle, Bruce’s Fiance.”

“Steve Rogers, Ma’am.” Steve stood to shake hands, and was quickly joined by his teammates. Everyone was quickly introduced.

“How has Gotham been treating you?” Selina asked.

Tony shrugged. “We haven’t been out into the city yet, just stayed around the manor for today.”

Selina frowned. “Why not?”

Jason snorted. "Have you _been_ to Gotham?”

Selina nodded at Bruce. “Fine, that forgives you at least somewhat.”

Bruce looked confused. “Somewhat?” 

Selina shrugged. “You need to let them out at some point, Bruce. Maybe not patrolling, but at least let them see the sights.”

Bruce sighed. “I’m not barring anyone from leaving, but it’s an unfamiliar city, and they’ve only been here a day.”

Selina looked over at the Avengers. “Do you want to see Gotham?”

Natasha considered. It was an intriguing idea, to see the city. But the warnings they had found during the research earlier were giving her doubts. 

In the end, Steve was the one who decided for her. “Sure, we might as well while we have the chance.”

“Good, I’ll see if I can get some of those tourist brochures in the morning.” Selina smiled triumphantly and Bruce sighed. 

“Fine, but I don’t want metas patrolling.” Bruce smiled defeatedly at his fiance. Duke coughed pointedly and Bruce cringed. “I’m sorry Duke, but you know what I meant.”

“I know, B.” 

“Speaking of patrolling, it’s about time we head out, right?” Dick asked from his seat. Stretching his arms.

Bruce nodded. “Yes, it is. Everyone who’s going out, head to the cave, Otherwise, bed.”

The kids stood up, and began to disperse, leaving the Avengers standing around awkwardly.

“You are welcome to come to the cave and watch patrol from the batcomputer,” Bruce said, pausing at the doorway. 

The team looked at one another and shrugged. “Might as well,” Clint said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patrol Shenanigans coming in the next chapter! Comment any requests, and I'll try to write them in.


	9. Dumb Ways To Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bats are on patrol, which lead to some interesting choices in karaoke!
> 
> Use this map of Gotham for reference: https://64.media.tumblr.com/cdbc1269f97ef6e4a83578affc278283/tumblr_ptibf0uA0m1u8jeqn_1280.png

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by a comment on the AO3 version of this story by THISBRO suggesting something to do with the song "Dumb Ways to Die" so I present you with this mess of a chapter. It's a bit longer than usual, but it sure was fun to write!
> 
> (PS) I'll be posting a part II to this sometime tomorrow, as I couldn't fit all the patrol shenanigans I wanted to into this chapter!
> 
> Also, I got Tumblr! Check me out here: tumblr.com/blog/peppersonironi! 
> 
> Also, guess who started reading DC comics for the first time in her life? ME! I have started to go through DC Rebirth (That's what my research said to start with for a total beginer), and so far its pretty good. My sister started reading pre-new 52, so we're kinda at different ends at the moment (Though her reading No Man's Land and ranting about it to me has really helped with writing Cass). If anyone has suggestions for comics to read, please let me know in the comments (Pre-new 52, new 52, or Rebirth, idc)

Bruce Banner was fascinated by the Wayne family. They were each at varying stages of preparation for the night. Wayne was fully suited, with the exception of his cowl pulled back from his head. Dick and Cassandra were also suited up, and were choosing weapons. Jason, Damian, and apparently Selina were off somewhere, getting dressed. Duke had gone to bed, apparently he had patrolled earlier during the day. Tim also wasn’t going out, however he had changed into pajamas and had set himself up at the computer.

They joked casually with each other, as if they weren’t about to head out into the night and fight crime. Banner didn’t remember him or his team ever being so casual before a mission. Granted, they had all been large world-threatening problems with little prep time. However Banner couldn’t help but think that what the bats did was much more alarming.

“You staying in tonight, Timmy?” Jason asked as he emerged suited up, with his helmet under his arm.

“Yup, I need to get these spreadsheets done for WE, and I can supervise the viewing.” Tim said absentmindedly as he arranged some papers then took a sip from his extremely large coffee mug.

Wayne sighed as he eyed the workload Tim had brought. “Just make sure you get _some_ sleep tonight, Tim.”

The teen made a noncomental noise as he went back to his papers. Bruce could relate, sometimes all he wanted to focus on was his work, despite what others told him.

Soon Damian emerged and went straight to the weapons wrack, grabbing his katana and an absurd amount of throwing stars - shaped like … were those bats? - and smoke bombs.

“So you’re all birds or bats?” Tony asked, watching the array of vigilantes. There were nods of assent. “What about Selina?” he asked.

“I’m a cat, darling,” the aforementioned woman said as she strolled into the room with feline grace. She wore a skintight black suit, black high heeled boots, and a cowl with cat ears. She also had amber goggles pulled up on her forehead. “Catwoman, to be exact.”

Tony frowned. “That doesn’t quite fit the theme.”

“Oh, I might have been active for as long Brucie here, but I was far from being a part of his clan.”

“She was a cat burglar,” Dick supplied with a grin.

Selina smirked before looking around. “Does anyone know where my whip went?”

None of the other Avengers spoke while the bats finished getting ready. Everyone was by their assigned vehicles (mostly motorcycles, though Batman, Catwoman, and Robin were riding the scary black car apparently called the batmobile) when Batman called for a systems check. “Is Oracle online yet?”

Tim tapped away at the computer. “Yup, one sec, I’ll turn the audio and video on.”

“Well hello minions,” a voice came from the screen as Barbara appeared onscreen, “You ready to go kick some a**?”

Batman glared all the way up at the computer screen. “You know what’s going on tonight?”

Barbara grinned. “Yup. We have an audience tonight! Don’t be surprised if Steph starts to show off. Or Dick. Or- ” The young woman frowned. “No, just any of your kids.”

“Is Stephanie going out tonight? She didn’t mention it before she left at noon,” Tim asked, his head tilted.

“Yup,” Barbara said, “She’s on the comms now, and waiting for you on the east side of Robinson park.”

Batman nodded. “Let’s head out.” The bats nodded and departed as one.”

“Gather ‘round, gather ‘round,” Barbara said. “I’ve prepped mask cams and security footage to provide optimal enjoyment, this is going to be fun!”

*****

“Alpha route, check in.” Barbara - or Oracle, as she was now working said.

“Batman present,” the Dark Knight said into the comms. Oracle put security footage of Batman and Robin onscreen for the Avengers.

“Robin present,” Robin announced. Onscreen, he and Batman launched grappling hooks and disappeared from view.

“They’ll start in City Hall district, move through Old Gotham, Tricorner, Chinatown, and then finish up in the Diamond District.” Tim said as he pointed out the alpha patrol route on a map of Gotham with the districts marked.

“Beta Route, check in.” Oracle said when Tim was done.

“Nightwing here,” Nightwing said as a new camera feed appeared. This one showed Spoiler and Nightwing parking their bikes.

“Spoiler checking in,” Spoiler replied.

Tim once again went back to his map. “Steph and Dick will go through the Upper West side, then the university district. Maybe continue north as well.”

“Gamma Route, check in.”

The next feed was of Black Bat, though it took a minute for Bruce to find her. She was climbing the side of a building, blending into the shadows.

“Here,” the aforementioned vigilante said curtly.

“She’s taking the fashion district and Robinson park,” Tim said helpfully.

“Delta Route, check in.”

The screen shifted again, and Banner found himself looking at a rooftop occupied by Catwoman and Batwoman. They seemed to have just met up.

“Catwoman present,” Selina said as she unfurled her whip.

Kate pulled out a grappling gun as she said “Batwoman here.”

Tim once again pointed out their route, saying they would mainly be going through the Upper East Side, Burnley, and Otisburg.

“And last but not least,” Oracle said, “Epsilon, check in.”

“Red Hood present,” the young man said. The screen immediately changed into a view of a run-down alley, where Red Hood stood leaning against a brick wall. He waved at the camera.

After the screens had cycled through everyone, the Batcomputer’s screen split to show over a dozen different camera angles, showing multiple views of each team.

“Everyone present and accounted for,” Oracle finished cheerfully. “Let’s all work together and make this a productive night, shall we?”

“No funny business,” Batman growled.

Oracle rolled her eyes. “Why do you even bother, B?”

Batman didn’t reply.

Oracle looked like she wanted to continue, but then a beep came from her monitor. “Beta Route, you have a robbery two blocks to your left. Three thugs tripped the alarm. Nothing major.”

“We copy Oracle,” Nightwing said.

The Beta Team’s section displayed a jewelry store, the front windows shattered. The other shots were from the inside of the store.

Nightwing and Spoiler dropped down from the roof, landing silently in front of the store. Nightwing held up his hand, motioning for the pair to separate. Banner was entranced - along with the rest of the Avengers.

The pair slipped in smoothly, blending into the shadows. The robbers were busy grabbing various pieces of jewels, and failed to notice their surroundings. Nightwing went right up behind the biggest thug and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Excuse me,” he said, “Are you planning on paying for that?”

The three men reacted almost instantly, pulling out their guns and yelling. Their fear was apparent, even on the grainy footage.

“It's the Bat-Brats!” One yelled as he shot off his gun.

Banner was on the edge of his seat as he watched Nightwing and Spoiler engage the perps. 

“Why doesn’t anyone ever come up with something more original?” Spoiler complained as she knocked the gun out of one’s hands with a kick.

“I know right?” Nightwing downed one thief before casually twisting another’s arm painfully behind his shoulder. “It’s always ‘bat-brats’ or ‘brats’! Why doesn’t anyone put some thought into it? Sometimes, I just want to be called a dick, y’know?”

As if on cue, every single bat groaned.

“He thinks he’s funny,” Tim told the Avengers. 

Banner couldn’t focus on the jokes. He was riveted to the screen. The fight was over practically before it began, and Banner was in awe. He had seen Nat fight, sure. And she always kicked their butts, but these people were on a whole other level. Not necessarily in skill, but professionalism.Gosh, he was rambling. They were just crazy good, okay?

“Anyone coming to pick these guys up, Oracle?” Nightwing asked, tying up the robbers.

“ETA 3 minutes on pick-up. You can move on.”

Banner let out a breath and looked at the other cameras. Black Bat was helping a woman to a bus stop, a man lay groaning behind him, a disassembled gun strewn across the sidewalk and road. Batman and Robin were swinging from buildings before stopping by a car-jacking. Catwoman and Batwoman seemed to have split up. The former was using running along rooftops, while the latter seemed to be shooting men in ski-masks. Not fatal shots, though. The men collapsed, moaning in pain, but they weren’t dead. Red Hood also seemed to be shooting people. He was in a warehouse, being attacked by over a dozen thugs.

“That’s a lot of people,” Steve said, looking at Red Hood’s section. There were several nods of assent. Natasha was the only one who didn’t seem concerned by the odds.

“Is he alright?” Peter asked.

Tim nodded offhandedly, making notes on his papers. “Oh yeah, they’re only some low-level drug dealers. And there are way less than usual. Jason will be fine, just watch.”

Turns out, Tim was right. Red Hood waded his way through the sea of attackers, shooting and disarming every single one. Within a minute, Jason stood atop a mountain of thugs.

“Oracle, are there any cops nearby?”

“A little ways out, I’ll send them an alert. You good to hang out there for ten, fifteen minutes?”

“It better not be too long, If I have to stay in this warehouse any longer, I think I might suffocate on their stench.”

Spoiler laughed. “That’d be a dumb way to die!”

Suddenly all of the bats froze. Spoiler and Nightwing turned slowly to look at each other, the latter grinning (And though he couldn’t see Stephanie’s face, Banner thought she was too.)

“Please don’t,” Batman groaned.

“Please do,” Batwoman crooned.

Oracle had a huge smile on her face as she winked at the Avengers. “Oh boy, you guys are in for a treat!”

Tim was also smiling. He had set aside his papers, and leaned forward in his seat.

“Oracle,” Nightwing asked coyly, “Could we have some music?”

“Right away, Big Wing.” A moment later, instrumentals began to play.

“Set fire to Robin’s cat.” Nightwing sang and he jumped off of his roof, he hung in the air for a long moment before beginning to swing.

Spoiler jumped off the roof next, joining Nightwing in his movements, as well as singing. “Poke a stick at a grumpy bat.”

Red Hood sighed before joining in. “Drink Red’s coffee, any day a’the week.”

Tim made an indignant noise, but his smile didn’t cease.

“Tell Red Hood to turn the other cheek.” Batwoman supplied as she finished tying up her batch of criminals.

“You’re lucky you’re my favorite aunt,” Jason grumbled before beginning the chorus.

Nightwing, Spoiler, Red Hood, and Batwoman all began to sing - somewhat - in harmony: “Dumb ways to die! So many dumb ways to die! Dumb ways to die-ie-ie! So many dumb ways to die!”

Banner vaguely recognized the song from his earth, so he was fairly certain the vigilantes were changing the lyrics. 

“Ask Hood, who wrote Frankenstein.” Catwoman sang out, much to the joy of the batkids. 

Except Jason, who muttered “Mary Shelly, you uncultured a**es.”

Spoiler was next: “Listen to a Nightwing pick-up line.”

NIghtwing let out an indignant squawk as Black Bat began to sing. “Tell Robin he’s not the best.”

On the Alpha Route’s section, Banner saw Robin almost trip off the roof in shock. “I do not want to be dragged into this ludicracy!”

Damian was promptly ignored. “Challenge Spoiler to a waffle-eat’n contest.” Batwoman sang, and her choice of lyric was received by a crow of triumph from the purple vigilante.

Once again, everyone with the exception of Batman and Robin joined in. “Dumb ways to die! So many dumb ways to die! Dumb ways to die-ie-ie! So many dumb ways to die!”

Catwoman took the next line. “Invite a psycho clown inside.”

“Trust me, clowns aren’t fun,” Jason said before adding on: “Scratch Black Mask’s brand new ride.”

“Ask Superman, for tech support.” Nightwing supplied.

“Insult Agent A’s fresh-baked torte.” Spoiler sang, performing a somersault mid-swing which almost gave Banner a heart attack.

“Dumb ways to die! So many dumb ways to die! Dumb ways to die-ie-ie! So many dumb ways to die!” The chorus repeated.

“C’mon, Lil’ D!” Nightwing was practically begging, “Join in!”

Banner almost wanted to warn Nightwing - he saw the diabolical grin on the boy's face - but it was too late.

“Let Nightwing in the kitchen.” Robin sang. He didn’t have a perfect voice, but boy did he deliver. Everyone burst out laughing (with the exception of Batman, of course.).

“Gosh I love this kid,” Natasha said, a proud smirk on her face.

After a moment, Spoiler picked up the song. “Give Red Hood some ammunition.”

“Damn straight.” The gun-toting vigilante said before adding on: “Tell Bats, you got a tattoo.”

Batman seemed to have had enough of his family’s antics, as next he said in a monotone: "I wonder. What's this red button do?"

There was a beep, then silence. 

Oracle grinned. “All routes, please be aware that Batman has now muted his comms.”

“Oh my gosh,” Spoiler said as she almost fell off a roof from laughter.

“Coward!” Red Hood and Batwoman called out in harmony.

“I can’t believe he actually knows that song,” Nightwing said.

“You sing it practically 24-7, darling. There’s no way he didn’t know it.” Catwoman had rejoined with her partner, and the pair shared a discreet fist bump.

After a moment, the giggling ceased, and the group began to sing the chorus once again. Robin even joined in, and he seemed to be enjoying bothering his father.

“Dumb ways to die! So many dumb ways to die! Dumb ways to die-ie-ie!” Everyone paused in unison, jumping off a roof, or between swings. Banner found it quite impressive. “So many dumb ways to die!”

Catwoman picked up the next line, slowing down as she sashayed across a pipe spanning two buildings. “Dress up like a clown during halloween,”

Robin leapt into an alley and began to fight some thief who was attacking a young woman. “Tell a Martian your favorite color isn’t green.”

Red Hood Began to pick up speed: “Stand on the edge of a roof next to Robin.”

“Tt.”

“Joyride in the batmobile while B’s away.” Spoiler sang.

“Run across Agent A’s flowerbeds.” Batwoman called, and everyone visibly cringed.

Robin picked up the bridge to the chorus as he tied up the perp.“They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly:”

“The dumbest ways to die!” Everyone sang. “The dumbest ways to die! The dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie!” The pause was longer this time, and the amount of time Nightwing spent free-falling almost gave Banner an aneurysm. “So many dumb - So many dumb ways to die!”

Everyone laughed as the impromptu song came to a close. The comms were taken over by light banter, and the occasional sound of someone being punched.

"So," Jason said after a while, "How many of those do you think we could get B to do?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full edited lyrics to the song:
> 
> Set fire to Robin's cat  
> Poke a stick at a grumpy bat  
> Drink Red’s coffee, any day a’the week  
> Tell Red Hood to turn the other cheek
> 
> Dumb ways to die  
> So many dumb ways to die  
> Dumb ways to di-ie-ie  
> So many dumb ways to die
> 
> Ask Hood, who wrote Frankenstein  
> Listen to a Nightwing pick-up line  
> Tell Robin he’s not the best  
> Challenge Spoiler to a waffle-eat’n contest
> 
> Dumb ways to die  
> So many dumb ways to die  
> Dumb ways to di-ie-ie  
> So many dumb ways to die
> 
> Invite a psycho-clown inside  
> Scratch a aco Mask's brand new ride  
> Ask Superman, for tech support  
> Insult Agent A’s fresh-baked torte
> 
> Dumb ways to die  
> So many dumb ways to die  
> Dumb ways to di-ie-ie  
> So many dumb ways to die
> 
> Let Nightwing in the kitchen  
> Give Red Hood some ammunition  
> Eat a tube of superglue  
> "I wonder, what's this red button do?"
> 
> Dumb ways to die  
> So many dumb ways to die  
> Dumb ways to di-ie-ie  
> So many dumb ways to die
> 
> Dress up like a clown during halloween  
> Tell a Martian your favorite color isn’t green  
> Stand on the edge of a roof next to Robin  
> Joyride in the batmobile while B’s away  
> Run across Agent A’s flowerbeds
> 
> They may not rhyme but they're quite possibly  
> The dumbest ways to die  
> The dumbest ways to die  
> The dumbest ways to di-ie-ie-ie  
> So many dumb  
> So many dumb ways to die


	10. Dumb Ways To Die II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Cass being awesome, a tad of backstory, and an overall conclusion to the previous chapter. A bit shorter and more serious, but oh well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block is a jerk, guys. I'm so sorry I didn't upload! But I promise I haven't forgotten this work. I had like 400 words done for like three different chapters, and for some reason just could not write any more. But I got this done! Also, I wrote a one-shot! Check out Siblings: The Truth of the Matter on my profile. (Duke gets tied up and questioned by his siblings, all while drugged with Truth Serum!) It was supposed to be a new Duke-centered chapter for this fic, but I couldn't fit the avengers in. And it quickly devolved into the most crack I have ever written. I am currently reading Rebirth and absolutely LOVE Duke Thomas so much, so I will definitely put a chapter with him as a more central figure soon.
> 
> How old were you when you realized that it was the disco-wing suit, not, in fact, dis-cow-ing? 'Cause I'm an idiot and I was today-years old. My life is a lie.
> 
> Also, the results are in for the Ship Poll! I will be implying/referencing Birdflash, including TimKon, and implying/referencing Joyfire! 

“Hey Hood, you got any ammo on you?” Batwoman said as she finished shooting someone in the leg.

“Yeah, why?” Red Hood was also shooting someone, this time in the shoulder.

“I’m running out of rubber bullets. Think we could meet up somewhere near the Narrows and exchange some?”

Natasha let out an intrigued noise at the mention of rubber bullets. Banner figured someone would be interrogated about that later on. Probably with the help of that small child she had practically adopted.

“Black Bat, you have a gang fight five blocks north of your position. GCPD is set up on the far side of the park, but are wary of approaching, but if you could neutralize the situation before it gets out of hand, that’d be great.”

Everyone’s attention was brought to Black Bat’s section of the screen, where she was racing along the rooftops.

“How many?” the vigilante asked as she neared her destination.

“Eighteen. Cops say they’re congregating around some picnic benches. Looks like a drug deal gone wrong.”

The screens shifted to far off footage of a park’s recreational area as Black Bat made her approach. There were two groups of men, one with eight guys, the other with ten. They hadn’t yet resorted to shooting the guns they so very clearly carried, but the tension in the air was clear.

Suddenly, a shot rang out. One of the foremost men held his gun lifted, and his opponent lay bleeding on the ground.

Cassandra leapt down from whatever high vantage point she had been perching and into the center of the men. Immediately, over a dozen guns were trained on the young woman.

All of the goons seemed to freeze with fear. The next few moments felt like hours as Black Bat sprang forward, knocking the gun out of the nearest opponent's hand.

This snapped the goons out of their trance, and they all pointed their guns at her. But no one had a chance to fire as the girl was too quick. She dismantled three lackeys before the man who had fired at the opposite side managed to get a shot off.

He missed by several feet, but this gave the others courage and they started firing too.

Black Bat ran a couple yards and then stopped abruptly and turned to face all of the goons. 

“W-why’d she stop?” Banner heard Peter ask desperately. “She has to keep moving or else-” _Or else she’ll get hit._ No one says it, but it’s what they were all thinking.

_There’s no cover,_ Banner realised, _She doesn’t have anywhere to go. So she’s standing her ground to the end._

For a long moment, no one said anything. The gang men looked scared, and Banner thought for a moment they wouldn’t actually shoot. They were wrong.

_Blam Blam Blam!_

Cass jerked in multiple directions. Banner stood up suddenly, along with almost everyone else in the cave.

“She needs back-up!” Peter exclaimed as the camera feed went dark for a moment.

“NO! No no no no _no_!” Banner hears Tony mutter at the screen, his voice growing louder.

“We need to get out there!” Steve cried hysterically, reaching for his shield. “We need to-”

“Everyone just calm dow-”

“What’s going on?” Batman asked.

“Black Bat went to deal with a gang fight in Robinson, she’s currently under heavy fire. We lost visuals.”

The storm of bullets didn’t cease as Oracle continued. “Beta and Delta groups reroute immediately to Robinson park.”

“On it,” Nightwing said grimmly. “We’re less than a minute out.”

“Six minutes for us,” Catwoman said, worry staining her voice.

Cassandra’s cam was still dark. All that anyone could understand came from the audio feed, which was filled with yells of the gang and the echoing of gunfire.

“We’re coming up on visuals,” Spoiler said after an excruciatingly long moment. Oracle let out a quick breath as the screens were filled with the mask-cams from the racing vigilantes.

Nightwing and Spoiler leapt down from a building and ran across the street to where the police had three cars pulled up. The officers were out of their vehicles, convening with each other. They looked up in relief at the approaching vigilantes.

“Thank goodness!” One said, before speaking into his radio. “Nightwing and Spoiler just showed up, Sir.”

“Stay back,” Nightwing said as he launched himself over a police car, “we’ll handle it.”

The team raced across the grass and through the trees, determined to save Cassandra.

*****

“Woah,” Peter said, summing up everyone’s emotions at the sight on the screens.

Cassandra had only gone blurry for two minutes tops, and yet in that time almost all of the thugs were down. Only four remained. 

All were desperately shooting at the bat. 

All were missing.

The bullets never hit her.

She was dodging them.

She was _dodging_ the bullets.

Dick started laughing at the sight, leaning against a tree to steady himself. Stephanie and Tim soon joined in. Even Oracle cracked a smile.

Banner sat down heavily with his mouth open as Black Bat darted out, hitting a pressure point on a gang member, sending him sprawling. She immediately followed the attack with a twisting of her torso, dodging another shot that landed in a tree.

“How is she doing that?” Natasha asked, awed. Banner was slightly taken aback. Nat never really seemed to be surprised by anything.

Once Tim had stopped chuckling, he answered the question. “She's reading the perps body language and predicting where the bullet will hit.”

“And how’s she doing that?” Clint asked. “That takes serious skill.”

“The usual.” Tim replied, waving his hand.

“The what?” Clink asked.

Tim spiked up his hair, tipped his nose into the air and stuck out his lower lip. His voice took on a self-assured air. “I was raised by an elite group of assassins from birth.”

The comms were suddenly filled with an annoyed Robin’s voice. “Are you mocking me?”

Tim laughed. “You have to admit, Robin. That’s exactly what you sound like. You little sweet potato pie.” the boy just grumbled. “But seriously,” Tim continued, “Cass’s dad trained her to read body language from birth. It was actually her first language.”

“Another ex-assassin?” Natasha asked. Wait, did that mean that Damian actually _was_ raised by assassins? 

Tim, however, smiled. “You haven’t even met Jean-Paul yet.”

Banner didn’t bother trying to figure the exchange out. Instead, he asked a question about Cassandra. “You said her first language? Is that why she doesn’t speak much?”

Oracle answered. “Yeah, Cass had to learn english but she prefers sign-language. The whole family learned.”

When no one had anything beyond nods to add, Banner turned his attention back to the screens. He witnessed Cassandra dodge one more shot before taking out the final bad guy. She stood amid a sea of groaning bodies, and Banner could have sworn she was smiling under the mask.

Nightwing turned to Spoiler, saying, “Let’s get the cops over here to arrest them.” 

Spoiler nodded. “Good work Black Ba-” Stephanie paused and tilted her head, looking at where Cass had been standing just ten yards away from her a moment before. “Where did she go?”

There was a light tapping sound and Dick and Stephanie whirled around. Cassandra stood behind them cheerily, bouncing on her heels. She waved her hand in front of her face then shrugged.

“Camera broke?”

Spoiler laughed. “Yeah, we lost visuals. You scared us, girl!”

Black Bat tilted her head. “I’m fine.”

“We know that _now_ ,” Nightwing said, shaking his head. “Gosh, sometimes you are more dramatic than B.”

An annoyed grunt came through and Oracle smiled. “This whole family is filled with drama queens, Nightwing. And you’re one to talk. We still have your discowing suit.”

Dick cringed so suddenly it was comical. Clint raised a questioning eyebrow towards Tim, who smirked. “Picture a disco nightwing suit and a mullet.”

Clint frowned. “He thought that was a good idea?”

“Yes,” Steph said over comms, “yes he did.”

“You weren’t even there!” Dick said, indignantly.

“Batman literally has it in a display case in the cave with a plaque that says ‘never again.’ Besides, I’ve seen pictures.” The Avengers glanced around, searching for said case. Tim pointed up a few levels, where they could just see a bright blue and yellow suit. Peter nodded appreciatively, and Banner made a mental note to go look at some of the other display cases..

“You really did you ridiculous, Nightwing.” Robin said over comms, causing a laugh.

“I thought B was gonna have a heart attack the first time he saw you!” Jason crowed. “Best part of being Robin, easy.”

“I was in my rebellious teenage phase, and if a mullet and neckline lower than necessary and a collar higher than my ears was gonna prove my point, then gosh darn I would wear it!” Dick yelled, causing the approaching police officers to do a double take.

“Plus you thought you looked hot,” Kate added.

“And I thought I looked hot!” Dick agreed.

“I’m glad you got over it, Nightwing,” Catwoman said. The others made agreeing noises.

“We should celebrate!” Stephanie said, playfully shoving Dick as they raced back to their patrol route.

“Why? Nightwing hasn’t worn that _monstrosity_ for - oh.” Jason cut himself off as he jumped over a roof top. 

“That’s right!” Spoiler called as she landed on a balcony. “Everyone finish up your routes then meet at Hoodwink’s for ice cream!”

There were cheers coming through the line, with the exception of Batman who growled: “Just make sure you finish your route.”

“Aw, sh**,” Reh Hood said. “I can’t come. The outlaws are supposed to drop by, and if I don’t, Arsenal will explode one of my safe houses.”

“Like you haven’t before,” Tim muttered.

“Watch it Replacement, These bullets may be rubber, but I have it on good authority that they f***ing hurt.”

Tim sighed and went back to his paperwork, and the Avenger’s turned their attention back to the bickering of the bats. Soon enough, patrol was over, and Banner headed to bed. He had a new appreciation of the vigilantes. Though he would be lying if Batman had earned the greatest amount of respect. How did he deal with all those kids?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, if you caught it, there is definitely a reference to the Harley Quinn Animated series in there. That representation of Damian has to be my absolute favorite!


	11. Curse of the Redheads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is being haunted. By Redheads. Oh Boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does a double update begin to make up for the month long wait? Probably not. I hope you like it anyway! This was honestly my favorite chapter to write so far! It's also the longest. Sheesh, 16.4 pages? You guys are spoiled, lol.
> 
> Harley and Ivy and the kid's chaotic aunts and you can't change my mind.
> 
> (I deleted the A/N and added a chapter. I haven't done this before on Ao3, so I'm not sure if you'll get the notification.)

After the previous long night, Tony Stark slept in. It was almost eleven when he finally dragged himself out of bed, and so he was understandably hungry. Tony decided he’d head to the kitchen and see if there was anything he could snack on before lunch.

When he arrived, Tony found that he wasn’t alone. Someone was digging around in the fridge. Tony ignored them and looked through the cabinets. He found some cereal after much digging around, and turned to the fridge to grab some milk. The same person was still going through it.

“Hey,” Tony said, absentmindedly as he stopped to grab a bowl and spoon, “Would you mind passing me some milk?”

“Yeah,” the guy said, causing Tony to freeze “one sec.”

The Avenger did a double take. He did  _ not _ recognize that voice. Whoever spoke was new in the manner.

Tony got the first look of the newcomer when he was handed a jug of milk. He was tall, around six feet, with green eyes, and red hair hidden by a backwards facing baseball cap. The young man nodded at Tony before taking a bite out of a burrito he had taken from the fridge, and walking out the door.

Tony blinked, not quite processing what happened. He wasn’t given much time though, as Duke walked in a moment later.

“ ‘Sup?” 

Tony opened and closed his mouth a few times before asking: “Did you just see a guy walk out of here eating a burrito?”

The teen tilted his head. “Um … no?” Tony shook his head, eyes wide. “Are you okay, dude?”

Tony shrugged. “Yeah, I think so. Just a bit stressed.”

Duke nodded, before his eyes widened in realization. “Oh, yeah! You guys saw Cass dodge bullets last night, right?” Tony nodded. “Yeah, she’s awesome. First time I saw her do that, I almost had a heart attack.”

“Ah,” Tony said, looking at the milk in a daze, “yeah, that must be it.”

*****

Tony went on with his day, trying to ignore whatever had happened. The morning training session had passed - much to Tony’s relief - so he didn’t have much to do. This was quickly solved by him remembering about the previous night’s discussion on questionable suit choices. Tony decided that he would investigate Dick’s old suit, and whatever else he could find. 

Tony was not disappointed. As he surveyed the row of display cases on one of the upper levels, the avenger was filled with pure glee. Oracle had been right, this family really was made up of drama queens.

The first was indeed a disco-wing suit. It was mostly dark blue with both an obscenely low neckline, and extremely high collar. Which was also bright yellow. Goodness gracious.

The next was a version of the batman suit. But instead of being almost all black, it was primarily gray with a blue cape. It was accented by bright yellow, and also had outer-underwear matching the cape. It wasn’t bad, per se, but Tony really couldn’t picture Wayne wearing it.

The next might have had a better color scheme, but it was a whole other world of bad taste. One that could be summed up by one word: Nipples. Why oh why did this suit have them? Not only that, but the decorative abs. The strangely small bat symbol. And the neck that looked about as stiff as a slab of concrete. Tony very much appreciated the plaque that read “No.”

Tony turned to view the other cases, and found his eyes drawn to a version of the robin costume. This one was strangely missing pants. It consisted of green scaly panties, a red shirt with green sleeves, yellow knee-length cape, domino mask, green gloves, and green pixie boots. Had Batman really allowed his kids out to fight crime in this?

The display after it was not a full suit. Inside the case was a pedestal holding a helmet much like Red Hood’s. Except this one had a mouth. Lips. The plaque read “Pucker Up Buttercup!” With a message scrawled bellow it in sharpy: “f*** you, Dick.”

The final case held a very glittery Batman suit. It looked like someone had lobbed a purple glitter bomb at it. The caption solidified this theory to Tony. The actual text read “The Real Reason Stephanie Was Fired” under which was a written note. “Glitter makes everything better. - Love Steph” bellow that, in neater handwriting was “No it doesn’t. - Bruce” yet another message was written: “Yeah it does! - Steph” A yellow sticky note was stuck to the side, where Bruce had written a reply. “It ruins my aesthetic. - Bruce” right next to Bruce’s message, a purple sticky note had the words: “You emo theatre kid furry - Steph” written in purple glittery ink. There wasn’t any reply, so Tony assumed that Stephanie had won.

Having seen everything on the level, Tony headed down the stairs. He passed Banner, who also seemed intent on investigating. 

Tony grinned. “It’s worth it,” he said.

Banner nodded, slightly confused, and Tony moved on. He made his way up the elevator, and began to explore some more. He found no less than three drawing rooms till he came to another door. He paused, feeling weird for a moment, before shrugging and walking in.

He was not expecting to find a young woman lounging on the sofa. Let alone one so strange. Her eyes were bright green and her skin had the slightest of orange tints. Most weird about her was the flaming mane of red hair. Tony had a sudden flashback to the other strange red head he’d seen today, and was instantly on alert. 

“Um, hello.” Tony began.

The woman nodded, smiling slightly. Then she rose elegantly and strolled out of the room. Tony blinked several times before turning and opening the door. He looked from side to side, but the absurdly long hallway was empty. Strange, he hadn’t heard any opening of doors. It was like she just disappeared.

Tony closed the door slowly before sitting on the sofa. He realised only a second later that the woman had been floating three inches off of the floor. Tony sat upright. She couldn’t have. It was just a trick of the light. He was seeing things. Or maybe a hallucination? Duke  _ had _ said he seemed stressed. Yeah, stress. There was no other explanation. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only weird thing Tony saw while in that room. A moment after he had decided he was going crazy, Natsha walked in, being led by the small vicious one - Damian, right? - they both held copious amounts of weapons, from knives to grenades to a six foot trident. 

“And here is where I store my extra katanas, machetes, and other large blades.” Damian said proudly. “We will procure what we need then bargain with Brown for the glitter bombs. Her’s are the highest quality.”

“Only the best, for us,” Nat said with a smirk.

“Of course, Tasha.”

Tony blinked several times. “Do I want to know?”

Damian and Natasha looked at each other, then to Tony.

“No,” Nat said.

“Stay out of our way and you will remain unharmed, Stark.” Damian said.

Tony nodded and watched as the pair crossed the room, moving to the tall urns by a table. Damian reached in and around the greenery, pulling out a katana. Natsha followed suit, retrieving several more swords. The pair added them to their piles, and left quickly, talking about air vents.

Tony nodded. “Yup, that’s completely normal. Definitely.” 

“In this house? Definitely.”

Tony whirled around to find yet another red headed young man. He gave Tony a lopsided grin.

“Gotta run,” He said, and was gone.

Tony batted away the loose papers that had flown up due to the man’s departure. Okay, what was going on? Tony stood up, and left the room.  _ As  _ _ Ian Fleming once said:  _ _ Once is happenstance _ _.  _ _ Twice is coincidence _ _. Three times is enemy action.  _ He thought,  _ this is not a coincidence.  _ Tony considered his options, and decided to go  hide hang out with someone who no ghost would ever consider finding.  _ Gotta find Steve. Mr. Star-Spangled-Banner is about as anti ghost you can get. _

*****

“So let me get this straight,” Steve said, a weird look on his face, “You think that you’re being haunted. By redheads.”

Tony nodded. “Yup. Three of them. First the kitchen-”

“Then the two in the living room. Got it.” Steve nodded. “Are you sure you’re the only one who saw them?”

Tony threw his hands in the air. “Well, I’m the only one who said anything!”

Steve frowned. “Does this have anything to do with distrusting the bats?”

Tony shook his head. “No. If anything, after last night, I trust them more.”

Steve sighed. “I’m still wary, but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.” He paused for a moment. “Natasha has practically adopted the youngest. Clint and Cassandra are definitely plotting something.”

“Plus Peter seems to have taken well to Tim.”

“Duke too,” Steve replied. After a confused look from Tony, he added: “I saw those three wandering around earlier. I think Duke and Tim are giving Peter some kind of in-depth tour.”

Tony nodded thoughtfully. “It's good that Peter’s making more friends. Especially hero ones.”

Steve smirked.

Tony frowned. “What?”

The Senior Citizen shook his head. “Nothing.” A moment’s silence. “I’ll go check the perimeter, make sure nothing can get in.”

Steve left a moment later, and Tony was left alone in the captain's bedroom. The billionaire considered what he could do, deciding finally on endlessly wandering the room. After about thirty seconds he found himself at the window, overlooking the gardens.

This turned out to be a horrible idea. Tony practically screamed as he saw a young boy, maybe ten years old, standing a little ways into the gardens, in an oversized trench coat. He had red hair and was staring  _ directly at him. _

“Steve!” Tony yelled, backing away from the window. “STEVE!”

The captain ran into the room at full speed, grabbing his shield from a chair, and took up a battle stance.”What’s wrong?”

“There’s another one!” Tony was hyperventilating as he pointed out the window. 

Steve cautiously walked up, and looked out. “Um, Tony?” He said. “There’s nothing out there.”

Tony paused before joining his friend at the window. He looked out, slowly inching his eyes up till he saw the place where the boy had been standing. “He’s gone,” Tony said, not sure whether to feel relieved or very, very worried.

Steve sighed. “Are you sure you aren’t just seeing things?”

Tony turned to look at his friend. Steve seemed to see the haunted and distraught look in his eyes.

“Ah,” he said, “you’re sure.” Tony nodded. “Alright then, you should probably stay away from this room then. Let’s go find someplace more populated.”

*****

Steve and Tony wandered around looking for people for five minutes before they found some. However, they found more than they were bargaining for.

“Welcome to Steph’s Glitter Bomb Palace, where Snitches get Stitches™! So don’t tell Bruce or I’ll sic Jason on you.”

The two Avengers stood in the doorway of one of the living rooms. In which Stephanie had set up what looked like a purple lemonade stand beside a fireplace. “Steph’s Glitter Bomb Palace, where Snitches get Stitches™” was written in purple glittery cursive on the sign above the stand. Stephanie was dressed in a matching purple waitress costume, complete with a paper hat. To her right, Jason stood in his leather jacket, carrying an intimidatingly large semi-automatic weapon. He growled at the completion of Steph’s speech to emphasize her point.

“Ummm…” Tony began.

“Why can’t we tell Bruce?” Steve asked.

Stephanie frowned immediately. “That old fart has a  _ thing _ against glitter.”

“Sucks to be him!” Dick said as he strolled into the room. “Steph, Could I have three FireFlyers in Riddler Green?”

“Only the most obnoxious lime for you, my acrobatic friend!” Stephanie declared, reaching under her stand and pulling out three spherical objects, lime green in color, and handing them to Dick. “As usual, I accept credit, debit, cash, blackmail material, favors, and cute pictures of koalas. But before that, could I interest you in any … add-ons?”

Dick’s eyes lit up. “Do you have any new models?”

Stephanie grinned. “Do I ever!” the minuscule blonde disappeared under the counter, coming up with a four foot long rocket launcher on her shoulder. Steve actually took a step back at the size. This girl was what, five-five? And that launcher was the real-deal.

“This looks amazing!” Dick piped up with. “What’s new?”

Stephanie launched - no pun intended - into a speech about calibrations, sightings, and liquid nitrogen. Tony - though he was fascinated - couldn’t pay attention. Because sitting across the room, with her back to him, was a red headed woman. She sat in a chair behind a couch, so all Tony could see of her was that cursed color. But it was enough.

Tony grabbed Steve’s sleeve, shaking it like a child. “Cap!”

Steve looked over, and his eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh!” 

“We need to get out of -” Steve was cut off by Tim, Duke, and Peter racing into the room. 

“Bruce Alert!” Duke said, mostly out of breath. He bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Thirty seconds out!” Tim added.

The response was immediate. Stephanie shoved the rocket launcher back under her stand, retrieving instead a pitcher of what seemed to be purple lemonade with ice. Stephanie also grabbed a stack of purple cups. She poured one and shoved it towards Dick. Then she reached up and flipped her sign over. The other side read “Steph’s Purple Punch Palace, where we quench your thirst or die trying™”.

Jason, meanwhile, chucked his gun behind a chair. He then pulled a six-foot long purple flag from a closet and began to wave it around slowly. It read "50 cents a cup!" Jason also put the fakest grin imaginable.

"Ten seconds," Peter coughed out, also out of breath.

Stephanie quickly brushed some excess glitter off her face, and pulled out a small basket with some change in it. All in all, it was a quick, efficient, and impressive change.

Bruce Wayne strolled in a moment later, clearly suspicious. He paused a little ways into the room, and surveyed the scene before him with narrowed eyes.

“Could I possibly interest you in some purple punch?” Stephanie asked as if this were the most normal thing in the world. “It’s only 50 cents a cup! I know that might seem like a lot for a multi-billionaire like you, but I assure you it’s worth it!”

Bruce sighed, putting his fingers on the bridge of his nose. “I hope you aren’t doing anything against the house rules here, Stephanie. I will bench you if that’s the case.”

The blonde teen gasped at the accusation. “Why would I break the house rules?” She asked, quite convincingly. Bruce was not convinced.

“Because you’re an agent of chaos. Your words, not mine.”

“I really don’t appreciate this, Brucey-bear. Everything I’m doing here is perfectly legal. And my customers are satisfied! Right Dick?” Stephanie turned to the young man, who took a sip of his punch.

“It’s really good, B. You should try some.” 

Wayne grumbled and looked around the room one last time. His eyes landed on Tony and Steve, both of whom smiled and waved.

“Fine,” he said, “Just no maiming anyone.” He eyed the “or die trying™” part of Stephanie’s sign. A moment later, he left the room.

After a solid forty-five seconds of silence, Stephanie burst out laughing. “Ha! We got him another time!”

“What?” Steve asked as Stephanie pulled a chalkboard from her stand. It had two headings: Times Bruce Caught Us and Times Bruce Failed. Stephanie added a tally mark to the second, overall, there were about thiry in total. The other side had none.

Stephanie smiled indulgently. “Bruce hasn’t caught my business venture yet. He tries - oh boy does he try - but old batsy has yet to succeed!”

“Uh, congratulations,” Tony said, unsure of what to say.

Stephanie nodded to Tony and Steve then went back to her customers, Duke, Tim, and Peter having joined the line.

In all the excitement, Tony had forgotten about the red head, so he turned to the woman, intent on demanding why her kind had been haunting him.

She was gone.

“Um, Steve?” Tony asked, pointing to where she had been.

The Captain’s eyes went wide as he looked over. Steve grabbed Tony’s wrist, and dragged him out of the room.

“Come again soon!” Stephanie called cheerily.

*****   
  
  


“You really are being haunted,” Steve said as he dragged Tony out to the gardens. 

“You think?!” Tony replied, “I’m losing my mind here! The first one was fairly normal, but weird. The second one was floating! The third disappeared in a flash before my eyes! The fourth one was a small child staring directly into my soul! The Fifth one was just creepy! How am I supposed to live like this! We need to stay another WEEK here!”

“Tony, calm down. We’ll figure something out. For now, let’s just stay outside, where we can see anything approaching.”

Tony took a deep breath. “Alright, sounds good.”

The pair wandered around the gardens for a while - maybe an hour, if Tony had to guess - so it was mid afternoon by the time they had wandered into the rose gardens. Along the way they had seen a few people - none redheaded, thank goodness - running around. At one point Nat and Damian had gone charging some bushes carrying spears. At another, Banner could be seen seated under a tree, reading a book. Tony also could have sworn he saw Dick and Selina swinging and flipping around trees, but they were gone a moment later.

The afternoon turned peaceful. Though Tony still had the nagging feeling that something was wrong. In the end, his suspicions were right.

Steve and Tony entered the rose gardens, strolling quietly. Steve had his shield out, but seemed rather relaxed. As they came around a bend, a woman was revealed to them. She was dressed in all green, with designs of plants on her leggings. She also wore a darker green jacket. The woman turned, a watering can in hand, showing bright red hair framing a lightly tinted green face. She didn't smile, only staring at them.

As soon as Steve and Tony saw her, they immediately turned on their heels and walked out the way they came, perfectly in sync.

*****   
  
  


The next encounter was equally as brief. Tony and Steve headed back into the manor, opting to hang out in the cave. “Surely ghosts would stay away from Batman?” Steve said.

Steve was wrong.

The pair descended into the cave to find the dark knight himself on a video conference with several other heroes. There were those that had intercepted them in the beginning - like superman and the Flash - but there were a couple new guys. Thankfully, both were blond. One looked an awful lot like robin hood. If robin hood wore exclusively green, a domino mask, and had a professionally groomed goatee. Another seemed to be underwater. His short hair floated around him, and fish swam by his ears.

“Just press the yellow button, Diana,” Bruce was saying, clearly trying to help the amazon with tech. The sight was strangely nostalgic, reminding Tony of Steve and Thor.

“Like this?” There was a pause in which a slight beeping sound could be heard. Suddenly, WonderWoman’s face disappeared, replaced with a picture of a dozen or so buff women dressed in greek armor.

Batman sighed, rubbing his temples. It was the exact same thing he did when he was fed up with his children. “No, Diana. You just turned off your camera.”

Tony looked to Steve. “That is totally you, y’know?”

Steve frowned, turning to look at Tony. “No. I can press buttons.”

Tony laughed quietly. “You, Captain America, are a senior citizen in more than age. You can’t handle tech to save your life.”

“Ha ha, Tony.” Steve replied, jokingly glaring at Tony.

They both turned back to the screens, and Tony choked. 

Floating menacingly in the background of the water-guy’s screen, was a sea-green suited woman with a golden crown and … _haunting red hair_. No one seemed to notice her. Except, that is, for Tony and Steve. They looked at each other, then back at the screen.

“No,” Tony began, “No, no, NO!”

Batman looked over at the pair of Avengers. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m gonna die.” Tony spoke matter of factly, his voice tinged with fear. “They’re after me and they’re never going to stop.” He turned to Steve, grabbing the man’s shoulders. “Tell Pepper I love her, okay? I don’t care what color her hair is, I know she isn’t one of them. Nat too.” He paused. “Well, I wouldn’t put it past her.”

The Justice League was openly staring at the two of them now, but Tony didn’t care. The situation was too dire.

Steve nodded, his own eyes haunted. “I will. I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

So they were being a tad melodramatic. Sue them. 

The billionaire and captain walked slowly back to the elevator. The last thing they heard before the doors closed was Batman grumbling “Let’s finish up here then I’ll go see what’s wrong.”

*****   
  
  


“It’s really over for me,” Tony muttered as they walked through the manner, “I can’t even trust technology.”

“Me too, maybe,” Steve replied, “I saw those last few as well.”

Tony waved his hand, dismissing Steve’s words. “No, it’s my curse. I’m the one they approached. You were just along for the ride.”

“Curse of the Red Heads,” Steve said, chuckling.

“This isn’t funny, Capsicle, and you know it!”

Steve shook his head. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Let’s go find some of the kids. They’ll be good for your nerves.”

“Over-dramatic theatre kid wannabes.” Tony muttered, a slight smile on his face. Then he chuckled. “Well, if I’m going to go out, I might as well do so in style.”

“With lots of glitter,” Steve added.

Tony laughed, remembering the strange encounter of the glitter bomb stand. “Yeah,  _ lots _ of glitter.”

They heard some noise coming from a parlor, so instead of avoiding it like it would be logical, they entered the room. Alas, Tony had once again made a mistake. 

Almost every single Wayne child, with the exclusion of Dick, Steph, and Barbara, was in the middle of a massive pillow war. Selina was also present, standing to the side as the apparent moderator. Thor and Banner seemed to have no sides, while Natahsa, Peter, and Clint partnered up with their respective bats. 

“I’ll get you Todd” Damian yelled, launching at his brother. “Tasha, manuver seven!”

Nat launched forward as well, flying high before tucking low and sweeping Jason’s feet.

“F***! F***! F***!” Jason yelled as he was brought to the blanket covered floor and promptly knocked unconscious.

Once their target was neutralized, Nat and Damian turned their attention to Banner, who was halfheartedly throwing a pillow at Thor.

“DEATH!” they yelled in unison, and charged.

“Jailer!” Selina called once Jason was down, and Duke stepped away from the young man. She strolled forward, grabbed a blanket, and proceeded to wrap the vigilante like a burrito. She then dragged his body to a sectioned off area that Tony assumed was a jail cell.

Jason was not, however, the only victim to have been demolished. Right next to him, with her hair over her face, was a woman. With red hair.

“That’s it!” Tony yelled, throwing his hands in the air. “They’ll never stop coming!” Everyone froze and turned to look at him. Steve took a step back. “Nat, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Steve, Peter. It’s been an honor knowing you but my time has come.” He spoke in a strange mix of hysterical and resigned. Everyone continued to stare. “Red! It was always red!” Tony was rambling now. “Was it my suit? Why couldn’t I have chosen silver? Blue is a good color, right? Well it’s no use! They keep coming! Over and over and over and OVER! First they fly then poof then they just stare! It’s a plot against me! Maybe Loki figured out how to leap worlds? Or are the gods punishing me for my hubris? It can’t be my mind, Steve saw them too! Or maybe it’s a shared hallucination? Or this whole trip is a weird fever dream? I’ll just wake up at home in the tower and JARVIS will give the news? This will all be over! Oh please to all that is good and holy in this world let it be over!”

“You good there, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked, clearly freaked out.

Tony ignored him. “Over. over, over, over. Just end it. End me, please!” The billionaire whirled and went to leave the room, but he ran face first into Bruce Wayne.

“What is wrong, Stark?” Wayne asked, both worried and grim.

“Wayne, please tell me you can send us back sooner! I can’t stand another second here! Or at least make sure my body can make it.” Bruce stared at him, concern, etching lines into his face.

“Wow, you really sound like you need a therapist,” a female voice called, “I could recommend you my girlfriend, but just know she has been diagnosed as criminally insane.”

Tony turned to see the green-tinted ginger strolling into the room from the opposite doorway.

“So you’ve come to end it,” Tony said, his voice strained.

The woman frowned. “I’m sorry?”

Tony shook his head, but before he could speak Dick and Steph walked into the room. 

“Something wrong?” Dick asked. “Oh, guess who just stopped by!”

Suddenly, Barbara wheeled herself into the room. She was followed by every single one of the red heads that had been haunting Tony - with the exception of the water-girl.

Tony let out a strangled gasp and collapsed on the nearby sofa. He grabbed his head in his hands and began to rock back and forth.

“Tony!” several people called.

“What’s wrong with him?” Stephanie asked.

Steve bit his lip. “Tony has been haunted.” He paused, looking at the newcomers. “By redheads.”

“Uum …” Dick began.

“Wait, us?” One of the ginger guys asked.

“Yes you!” Tony sat straight upright, his eyes wild. “First it was you!” He pointed to the buff guy. “You handed me milk and ate a burrito before walking out, but then Duke walked in and said he didn’t see you, and I must have been going crazy. So I ignored it for a while, but then I go into a sitting room later and I see YOU!” He whirled to the orange skinned woman, who frowned. “And you walked out, but you were FLOATING! And I looked into the hallway, but you were GONE! I turn back around, and you are sitting on the sofa!” His next target is the second guy. “You said ‘gotta run’ and in a flash of light you were gone! So I go to Steve for help, ‘cause I clearly need it, and we go back to his room, where no one can get in, and I look out the window to find you staring into my SOUL!” Tony’s eyes darted to the side as he pointed at the ten year old. “But when Steve goes to look, you’re gone! So we leave to go find some other people. We end up near Stephanie’s stand, and see another one behind a sofa, but then she disappears too! So then we go outside for a while, wandering the gardens, but we come around a corner, and you’re there watering plants. You just stare at us disapprovingly, so we bolt to the cave, ‘cause no one would dare go against Batman, right?” Tony let out a hysterical laugh. “But no!” He said, sobering suddenly. “In the background of the waterboy's screen is another one! She just floated behind him, saying nothing! We come up here, and I’m hoping for relief, but then we see her!” He turned to the final redhead, who was stirring in her burrito. 

Tony, completely out of breath, collapsed back onto the sofa.

“Wow.” Jason said, having gained consciousness. “That’s a lot to unpack.” 

Several other people (i.e. the kids) were holding back smiles when Barbara sighed. “I think that introductions and explanations are in order.” She wheeled farther into the room, and began to speak. “First off we have Roy Harper. He goes by Arsonal in the field and is part of Jason’s hero team, the Outlaws.”

“Anti-heros,” Jason mutters.

“Anti-heros,” Babs concedes. “He stopped by Jason’s safe-house and they came over together this morning. He likes to steal our food.” 

Roy smirked. “What can I say, Alfred can cook!”

“Are _you_ the red-arrow guy?” Clint asked, and when Roy nodded he grinned. “I got a chance to use some arrows you left around yesterday, they were awesome.”

“Thanks,” Roy said.

Babs nodded. ‘Okay, enough with the fanboying. Next we have Koriand’r. She’s a Tamaranean, a type of alien. She’s also a part of the Outlaws, goes by Starfire, and likes floating a lot.”

The alien smiled. “I apologize if I scared you. Earth customs are oftentimes hard to decipher.”

Tony just blinked as Barbara continued. “The hyper one over there is Wally West. He’s a meta-human, specifically a speedster. He can move at incredibly high speeds - like in the super-sonic range - and he’s the second Flash. Hence the puns about running, and disappearing in a flash of lightning.” 

Wally waved.

Barbara rolled her eyes and continued. “The pipsqueak-”

“Hey!”

“The smol bean over there is Colin Wilkes. He’s Damian’s friend, and about the sweetest thing you’ll ever find.” Babs paused. “When he goes out on the streets, he’s Abuse.” Tony blinked. Huh, that’s not what he expected. 

Barbara continued. “And right here is our Aunty Ivy. Real name Pamela Isley, she’s Poison Ivy, and can control plants.”

The woman smirked. “I’m an eco-terrorist. No need to sugar-coat it dear.”

“But she won’t hurt you. She’s super chill as long as you don’t pollute the environment or anything.” Barbara looked over at the redheaded burrito. “The one who got knocked out is Kate. You met her yesterday.”

Kata unraveled herself from the blankets and sat up. “Yup!”

“The woman you saw in Aquaman’s screen-” There were several giggles and muttered ‘water-boys’s - “Was most likely Mera. His wife.” She looked to Bruce for confirmation. 

“Or girlfriend. I’m not sure. Atlanteans are strange.”

Tony blinked, slowly taking the information in. “So you weren’t haunting me?”

“Nope!” Babs said. “I don’t know is anyone else was acting creepy on purpose, but I stopped by Steph’s Purple Punch Palace-”

“Where we quench your thirst or die trying, trademark!” Steph shot in.

“-for some of the good stuff.” Babs grinned cheekily to Bruce who muttered something along the lines of “I’ll catch her eventually”. “I left by the time B arrived, though. Don’t know why you didn’t see me.” 

“You’re a bat,” Tony said, then turned to the others.

“I was watering the plants,” Pamela said, shrugging. “I just got back from a trip to the amazon and wanted to take care of them before Selina and I could catch up.”

“I was looking for Damian,” Colin offered. 

“Just popped in on all of you dimension jumpers. Didn’t mean to scare you though,” Wally said apologetically.

Koriand’r looked side to side, realizing it was her turn, before shrugging. “I wander. No big deal.”

Tony nodded, still numb. 

“Hey, I handed you your milk!” Roy said after being elbowed by Koriand’r. “For the record, Duke totally saw me leave. Not my fault he didn’t say anything!”

Everyone simultaneously turned to Duke, who scowled. “It was just a joke! And the look on your face was priceless.”

“Duke,” Wayne growled. There wasn’t much heat behind the word as there was ‘disappointed father’.

Duke sighed and spoke more to himself. “The one time I try to joke around like all the others do, and it blows up in my face!”

“Aw,” Tim said, “did you want to act like us?”

“You mean crazy?” Duke asked.

“Calm down, duchess. Everyone knows you’re only  _ comparatively  _ saner than the rest of us.”

Tony shook his head in disbelief. “So … I’m not going to die?”

“That, Stark,” Damian said. “Is altogether still up for debate.”

“Dami!”

“Sorry, Grayson.”

“Sirs and Misses,” Alfred said, suddenly in the room, “Dinner is served. As soon as whatever business you have here is settled, you may eat.”

“Now _ that’s  _ the one you need to watch out for,” Jason said, leaning over toward Stark. “We still aren’t sure if he’s a ghost or robot.”

Tony nodded at the smirking young man. “Noted.”

“FREE FOR ALL!” Damian and Nat suddenly shouted in unison, grabbing their pillows and downing an unprepared Duke. Jason immediately teamed up with Roy and Koriand’r, and everyone else partnered off. Wayne seemed unsure for a moment, which was promptly used to take him down, by Dick and Wally. Selina joined the fray as well, partnering with Pamela. Alfred had disappeared.

As the chaos continued, Steve looked to Tony. “You alright?”

Tony nodded. “I’m considering asking Pepper and Nat to go blonde.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ivy's costume is based off the Harley Quinn animated series, because I think that's a good casual look, y'know? She might where her more classic look for a "night on the town" (I.e. terrorizing Gotham) but I'm not sure yet. Her characterization is also from the show a bit, mixed with comics that I'm reading.
> 
> Steph’s Glitter Bomb Palace, Where Snitches get Stitches™ is canon in my heart. I don't know why. But it is.


	12. Of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duke and Tim give Peter a tour of the manor. (I also need help. Read note)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I have a problem. I have heard SO MANY bad thing about Rebirth. Like the whole Ric Grayson thing, to them making Bruce abusive (The crap I've heard about RHATO 25 …), that the BatCat wedding never happened, that they KILLED ALFRED! Not to mention They completely assassinated Damian's character, turning him into a villain, making Tim Robin again? (That last one hurts a lot. Damian is honestly my favorite Robin. I don't want to see bad things happen to him. Plus, why would you want Tim to be Robin again? Hasn't he matured out of the roll?)
> 
> So I'm honestly super scared to keep reading. The only thing keeping my going is Duke Thomas. He is honestly my favorite batkid besides Damian, and I absolutely love him in Rebirth! So do I keep reading for him? Or do I go back and start on New 52, which I know features him prominently (At least in We Are Robin and Robin War). My third option is to go back into the pre New 52 storylines. My sister has been reading Chuck Dixon and absolutely loves it.
> 
> Any advice is HIGHLY appreciated! If you don't want to comment on here, throw me an anonymous ask at my Tumblr (https://peppersonironi.tumblr.com/)

“Oof.” 

Duke grinned down at Peter, who he had just flipped over his shoulder and onto the floor. “Not bad, honestly. Just watch your weight placement.”

Peter groaned and accepted the hand Duke offered him. “Thanks, I’ll try.”

“Do or do not, there is no try.” 

Peter grinned. “You have Star Wars on this earth?!”

Duke frowned. “Star Wars? That was a quote from Star Trek.”

Peter looked  _ so traumatized _ that Duke couldn’t help but laugh. “Dude, I’m just kidding. We totally have Star Wars.”

“Oh thank goodness, I was about to go cry myself to sleep.” Peter chuckled as they took their positions again.

“Can’t have that,” Duke replied, “Then I couldn’t kick your butt.”

Peter flipped forward, initiating the rematch. Duke stepped to the side, before going in for a strike to his opponent’s shoulder. Peter twisted though, responding with his own atack. Duke parried and they exchanged more blows. Peter let out a surprise leg sweep, that Duke only barely avoided. Once again, however Duke brought Peter down. He would be lying if he didn’t have a split second warning on the leg sweep. 

“How’d you see that coming?!” Peter demanded, rubbing his head. “I could have sworn no one could catch that.”

Duke shrugged. “I might have had a bit of help.” At Peter’s confused expression, Duke sighed. “I’m a meta-human. I have very specialized light - you know what? It’s long. I can see a few seconds into the future, has to do with light and reflections off things and such.”

Peter grinned broadly. Not quite what Duke had been expecting. “That’s cool! And me too, kinda. I have a spidey sense. Like an instinct for danger.”

Duke was caught between making a pun about ‘an instinct for danger’ with his siblings, and questioning ‘spidey sense’. In the end, he went for the second. “Spidey sense? Why that name?”

Peter looked very deadpan as he said, “I was fourteen. The only other option was Peter-Tingle. It sounded cool.”

Duke laughed. “Well that’s as good a reason as any. And it’s honestly not that bad. You should see some of the stuff Dick named and designed when he first started out.”

“The Discowing suit?” Peter asked.

Duke tilted his head. “How’d you know about that?”

“Everyone was teasing Dick over it last night.”

Duke nodded. “Ah. And yeah, that is one, but he was like sixteen when he did that one. I”m talking about practically everything else. The Batmobile? Batcave? Batcomputer? Batarangs? Batcycle? Batknuckles? Bat-paranoia? Batbed? Batnap? Batline? Batfridge? Bat Shampoo? Conditioner Gordon? Totally Dick. Plus his original Robin suit. It literally had no pants.”

Peter frowned. “Wait, what? No pants?”

Duke grinned. “That’s what I said! Apparently, he wanted to be ‘close to his roots’. But he grew up in a circus, so it ended up being extremely impractical.”

Peter shook his head. “It really is never a dull day here, huh?”

Duke looked off dramatically into the distance, his hand over his. “Us? Dramatic?  _ Never. _ ”

“Yo,” Jason called from where he was lounging against a weapons rack. “Stop slacking, kiddoes. No resting!”

*****

“I can’t wait to take a shower,” Peter announced as he and Duke grabbed their water bottles and downed them.

“Gonna have to wait a while,” Duke replied. “It takes, like, an hour to get around the manor”

Peter groaned. “Ugh, yeah. I haven’t even seen everything yet.”

This made Duke freeze. “Has no one given you a tour yet?” He asked very seriously.

Peter frowned. “No, was I supposed to get one?”

Duke nodded, completely solemn. “Oh yes, you haven’t truly lived until you’ve received a Wayne Kid tour of the manor.” Duke made a split second decision. “Come on, you need to get one. We’ll get Tim. He knows more about this then me.”

Peter nodded, a frown on his face. “If that’s what you think is best.”

The pair headed upstairs, and Duke said they could take quick showers before meeting the other teen. They did, and found each other standing in front of Tim’s door twenty minutes later. Duke had a steaming mug of coffee in hand. A sort of offering, if you will.

“Dick made him skip practice today and sleep in,” Duke explained when Peter gave the coffee a weird look, “So he’ll need caffeine to wake up. Don’t be too scared by what you see next.”

Before Peter could question his words, Duke knocked on the door. A low groan emanated slowly from the depths of the room, and a moment later the door swung open, revealing a drowsy Tim Drake. He slowly blinked sleep from his eyes, and Duke was relieved to find the dark circles that had once inhabited his brother’s face to have dissipated. 

Before Tim could speak, Duke extended the coffee mug. Tim grabbed it and founded it in three, solid gulps. 

“Ah, that’s better!” Tim said, his whole persona shifted. He grinned, and looked over all quite refreshed. “Duke, Peter, what’s up?”

“He needs a tour of the manor,” Duke supplied, Peter nodding eagerly along with him.

Tim looked them over critically, before grinning. “So we really are adopting him. Sounds cool! Let me get dressed.”

Tim disappeared from view, and Peter blinked in confusion. “Adopting me?”

Duke grinned. “Yup! All new members of the family get a mega tour. After this, you’ll be an honorary bat!” he said the ‘honorary’ in finger quotes.

Tim appeared a moment later. “Shall we get the supplies?” He asked.

Duke nodded. “I’ll get the things from the kitchen, you get the other stuff?”

Tim nodded, then looked to Peter. “Come on, bug-boy, this’ll be fun!”

Peter grinned, “After you, bird-boy!”

*****

Duke walked down the hall towards the kitchen. There were very specific food items that were required for a Wayne Manor Tour, which Dick had  forced helped Duke to memorize.

“ ‘Sup, Duke.” Roy Harper strolled past, eating a leftover burrito. Not quite an unusual sight, but Duke was still surprised.

“Oh, hi Roy. When did you get here?”

“A while ago. Came in with Jay, but decided to skip the torture.”

Duke grinned. “Lucky, I still had to train. Hey, is Kory with you?” He knew that the outlaws were essentially inseparable.

“Yeah, she’s around.”

Duke nodded. “See you, dude.” and they each continued on his way. 

The only other person in the kitchen was Tony, and Duke nodded his head in greeting.

“ ‘Sup?” 

Tony opened and closed his mouth a few times before asking: “Did you just see a guy walk out of here eating a burrito?”

Duke tilted his head. He could say that he saw Roy, but a little voice in his head - that sounded altogether too much like Jason Peter Todd’s - told him not too. “Um … no?” Tony shook his head, eyes wide, and Duke had to resist the urge to grin. “Are you okay, dude?”

Tony shrugged. “Yeah, I think so. Just a bit stressed.”

Duke nodded, well he was too far in now - not really, but again with that little voice. He widened his eyes. “Oh, yeah! You guys saw Cass dodge bullets last night, right?” Tony nodded. “Yeah, she’s awesome. First time I saw her do that, I almost had a heart attack.”

“Ah,” Tony said, looking at the milk in his hand in a daze, “yeah, that must be it.”

Duke smiled and went around, going in the fridge and then the pantry, grabbing what he and the others required and putting it in a cooler. After he was done, he went to the entrance hall, where they were to begin the tour. Gosh, this was going to be fun!

*****

“I see you’ve made it,” Tim said, grinning, “Did you get everything?”

Duke smiled. “Of course.”

“So what’s this tour supposed to be?” Peter asked, looking around the grand room.

Both Tim and Duke turned simultaneously to face Peter, Tim holding out his hand with the script. “Do you, Peter Parker the seventh, dare to embark on a journey through one of the most dangerous, crazy places on earth?”

Peter blinked, but played along. “I do.”

“Great!” Tim said, tossing the notecard behind him. “This is the main entrance to the manor, it has a whole bunch of historical value, as it was ‘ahead of its time’ in terms of architecture, but that’s not what’s important. See that chandelier?” He pointed to the huge gold and crystal masterpiece on the ceiling, “That is the chandelier that Richard John Grayson-”

“I thought his name was Dick?” Peter interrupted.

“It is,” Duke replied, “But it’s a nickname he insists on.”

“Ah.”

“ _ As _ I was saying, that’s the chandelier Dick has broken no less than six times, in attempts to climb around it. Bruce is getting tired of reinforcing the ceiling and replacing the broken parts.”

Peter frowned. “Really?” 

“Yup!” Duke replied, “Once I found him up there in Finding Nemo pajamas, crying, and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. I didn’t ask.”

“I saw him up there wearining the most obnoxious gold tracksuit ever. He called it ‘camouflage’.” 

Peter nodded, a grin on his face. “Do you have pictures?”

Both the resident bats grinned. “Do we ever!” TIm said.

“Let’s wait till after the tour,” Duke added, “We can chill on the roof and eat the snacks I brought.”

“Sounds Like a plan,” Peter said.

*****

“It’s just up here,” Tim said, looking at a map in his hands. They had gone through the house, telling stories about different things, but what came next, both Duke and Tim had assured Peter was way better.

“What is?” Peter asked.

“You’ll see,” Duke replied.

They turned the corner and Peter froze, his eyes wide. Duke grinned at the sight. At the end of the hall, was a humongous bouncy castle. Above the entrance hung a sign that said: “Dick’s Bouncy Emporium, where you bounce away your fears!™”

“What. Is. That?!” Peter asked slowly. “Why is there a bouncy castle in the hallway?”

“It’s a shop!” Tim replied, and continued at Peter’s questioning gaze. “Everyone (Except Bruce and Alfred) has a pop-up store. They offer various services and products, and open for very specific times and places.” He showed Peter the map, which marked out the exact place and time the shops would be open.

“So what’s this one?” Peter asked, a grin stretching across his face.

“You bounce in the bouncy castle for a while, and complain. Dick then tries to help. It’s a fifty/fifty chance for whether he’ll smother you in hugs or help plot revenge on whoever has wronged you.”

Peter nodded. “How do you pay?”

“I accept credit, debit, cash, blackmail material, favors, and cute pictures of any of my siblings!” Dick popped his head out of the bouncy castle, a grin on his face.

“So?” He asked. “Could I interest you in a round?”

*****

“That was terrifying,” Peter said, stumbling out of the bouncy castle, “I have never been so cuddled in my life.”

“And we have to live with him!” Tim replied, and Duke did a double take.

“You have your own apartment, and Dick lives in Bludhaven. If anything, I have it worse.”

“Alright,” TIm conceded, “But if he comes to my apartment, I have nowhere to run. You have thirty-nine miles of unexplored house!”

Duke shook his head. “You wish.”

“So, where to next?” Peter asked, and his tour guides grinned. 

*****

“Welcome to Jason’s Repertoire of Revenge: Mercenary for hire.” Jason stood behind a literal mountain of guns and explosives. “How May I help you?”

“Uh, we were hoping for your other shop?” Duke asked, eyeing the weapons warily.

Jason glared. “That’s not open for another twenty seconds. You gotta wait, shortstacks.”

Peter blinked. “Twenty seconds?”

“We told you these things are open at obscure times,” TIm answered. “Jason’s mercenary store is only open for the first seventeen minutes of every third hour, followed by thirteen for his bakery. My own personal store is only available at five am, for thirty one minutes.”

“And I’m still trying to figure mine out,” Duke added.

“I keep telling you to open a disco -” Jason stopped speaking immediately, grabbing the blanket on which his weapons rested, and wrapping it up into a giant bundle. He then pulled a rolling cart from behind a potted plant, which held several baked goods and a toaster oven.

“Welcome to Jason’s Bombtastic Bakery, the best food in town! Don’t tell Alfred™”

“Hi,” Tim replied. “We’d like three cheese danish?” He turned to Peter, “Do you have any allergies?”

Peter shook his head.

“Coming right up,” Jason said, “Would you like those warmed up for you?”

*****

“This is insanely good,” Peter said, munching on the danish, “Like really really good!”

Duke grinned, but didn’t reply, as he was eating his own danish.

“Wait,” Tim said, “Hold up.”

“Is it another shop?” Peter asked.

“Better.”

The trio peaked around the corner to find Bruce Wayne covered in cats. Legitimately covered. Selina Kyle sat next to him on the sofa, laughing her butt off at the dozen felines climbing over him.

“You do like taking in strays, don’t you dear?” Selina asked, stroking a cat in her lap.

“CHILDREN, Selina. STRAY CHILDREN.”

“But these are my babies.”

Bruce sighed. “I know for a fact you have only adopted three of these.”

Selina shook her head. “And I know for a fact that you haven’t adopted all of your children either. Stephanie, perhaps? Billy Batson? Oh you were so tempted by him. Bat-son, right?”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Dick.”

Selina chuckled. “What about Tim? You considered him a son before he was legally adopted. Same with Dick. Or Duke? He’s a foster kid.”

“Selina, those are once again children. These are cats.”

“They’re all living beings.” Selina took a dainty sip of purple punch from a cup and Duke’s eyes widened.

“Oh she’s so taunting him.” Tim said.

“Wait, what? The drink?” Peter looked confused.

“His greatest failure,” Duke said, grinning.

“Selina, what is that you’re drinking?” Bruce said. 

Selina smiled coyly. “Purple punch, darling. Your totally-not-daughter Stephanie gave me some. She’s running such a successful business. You should be proud.”

“And why is there black glitter in your hair?”

Selina smirked. “I wouldn’t know.”

Bruce shook off the cats, standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Run!” Duke said. “We can’t let him catch Steph!”

The trio bolted, Tim leading the way, wind through the halls till they reached their destination.

“Bruce Alert!” Duke said, mostly out of breath when he stopped. He bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Thirty seconds out!” Tim added, leaning against a table

Steph and Jason immediately began disguising the stand. Duke looked over at Peter, who was watching the process and a look of sheer awe on his face. Duke looked at Tony and Steve who were also there (though he doubted they were there to buy glitter bombs) and they had the perfect combination of surprise and confusion. Duke understood, the first time he saw Steph do this, he had been frozen for five minutes, unsure if it was some weird mix of Scarecrows or not. Because Steph’s determination was terrifying.

"Ten seconds," Peter coughed out, also out of breath.

Freshened up and smiled. The room had been transformed.

Bruce Wayne strolled in a moment later, clearly suspicious. He paused a little ways into the room, and surveyed the scene before him with narrowed eyes.

“Could I possibly interest you in some purple punch?” Stephanie asked brightly. “It’s only 50 cents a cup! I know that might seem like a lot for a multi-billionaire like you, but I assure you it’s worth it!”

Bruce sighed, pulling his signature move of fingers at his eyes. “I hope you aren’t doing anything against the house rules here, Stephanie. I will bench you if that’s the case.”

Stephanie gasped at the accusation, putting a hand to her chest. “Why would I break the house rules?” She asked. Bruce, however, was not put off.

“Because you’re an agent of chaos. Your words, not mine.”

“I really don’t appreciate this, Brucey-bear. Everything I’m doing here is perfectly legal. And my customers are satisfied! Right Dick?” Stephanie turned to Dick, who Duke hadn’t noticed until now. 

The acrobat took a sip of his drink and grinned brightly. “It’s really good, B. You should try some.” 

Bruce grumbled, and Duke held back a snort. Boy was he trying so hard. Bruce serveyed the room again, eyes landing on Tony and Steve, both of whom smiled and waved.

“Fine,” he said, “Just no maiming anyone.” He looked at what Duke thought was the “or die trying™” part of Stephanie’s sign. A moment later, he left the room.

After a solid forty-five seconds of silence, Stephanie burst out laughing. “Ha! We got him another time!”

“What?” Steve asked as Stephanie pulled a chalkboard from her stand. It had two headings: Times Bruce Caught Us and Times Bruce Failed. Stephanie added a tally mark to the second, overall, there were about thiry in total. The other side had none. 

Duke smiled at the fond memories he had of that sign. Boy, some of the stunts Steph pulled just so she could avoid being caught. The baseball slide under the dining room table being Duke’s personal favorite

Stephanie smiled indulgently. “Bruce hasn’t caught my business venture yet. He tries - oh boy does he try - but old batsy has yet to succeed!”

“Uh, congratulations,” Tony said, looking confused

Stephanie nodded to Tony and Steve then went back to her customers, Duke, Tim, and Peter having joined the line. 

“Could we get three SuperBombs each in Signal Yellow, Robin Red, and” Duke turned to Peter. “Pick a color.”

Peter frowned. “What are we doing?”

“Glitter Bombs,” Tim replied, “Steph makes the best. Pick a color.”

Peter tilted his head. “Do you have any blue?” Stephanie waved goodbye to Tony and Steve, telling them to come again soon, before turning back. She went under and grabbed multiple different shades. 

“Pick!”

Peter grinned, choosing a royal blue.

“Now,” Tim said, after handing Steph some pictures of koalas, “How about some target practice?”

*****

“This is awesome!”

Duke turned to look at Peter, who just threw his first glitter bomb. It exploded against a tree, causing an almost perfect circle of blue.

“I know, right?” Tim asked, lobbing his red one at the exact right angle to cause a spiral pattern. There were pros to using batarangs beyond just crime fighting. Duke had been trying to get the hang of them, but prefered escrima sticks.

That’s not to say he wasn’t good at throwing stuff, though. Duke threw his first bomb high, causing it to fall atop a tree, popping the bomb and showering everyone in glitter.

“Those better not be harming the environment.”

The trio turned around to find a green-skinned, red haired woman standing in green pants with vine designs on them, and a dark green jacket.

“IVY!” Tim grinned, racing for her. “I didn’t know you were back! I thought you and Harley were still in the bahamas.”

Ivy grinned. “Hello, Tim. We just got back this morning. I came over to water the plants and say hello to Selina.”

Duke ran forward as well, quickly followed by Peter.

“Hey aunt Pam.” Duke said, grinning.

“Hey to you too, Duke. And who might this be?”

Tim answered, “This is Peter, he’s one of the dimension travellers. Selina sent you a notice, right?” At her nod he continued. “Peter, this is our aunt, Pamela Isley. She’s also known as Poison Ivy.”

Peter stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Are you also a vigilante?”

Pamela laughed and shook his hand. “Nope. If anything, I’m the villain.”

“She was one of the rogues,” Duke supplied at Peter’s confused face. “Same as our aunt Harley. Selina too, if you remember. They’re reformed.”

“Mostly.” Ivy added.

“Mostly.” Duke finished.

Peter nodded, then looked at the green ensemble. “Cool. You like plants?” 

Ivy grinned. “Yes, you could say that..”

Peter smiled. “You’re cool. How’d you get green skin?”

“Chemical reaction.”

“That’s awesome!” Peter was bouncing at this point. Duke understood, Ivy just excluded cool vibes, kinda like Selina. And Harley. Basically all three of the Gotham City Sirens were awesome. Not even Bruce could compete.

Ivy smirked. “Oh, I like you. How long are you staying, again?”

Peter shrugged. “A week, give or take.”

“I’ll be sure to bring Harls over, she’ll love you too. For now though, I need to go water the rose bushes.”

They waved goodbye, and Ivy walked away. She paused for a moment and turned. “Duke, darling, have a good patrol. I know you'll be heading out soon.” And she disappeared behind the shrubbery.

“You patrol during the day, right?” Peter asked, turning to Duke. “When do you head out?”

Duke sighed and checked his phone. “I’m supposed to be out in ten minutes, actually. Sorry to cut this short.” He paused for a moment. “Hey, do you guys want to join me?”

Tim frowned. “But it’ll be sunny.”

Did he not realise they were outside already? Duke sighed. “Since when is Gotham ever sunny?”

“Fair point.”

They both turned to Peter, who was smiling widely. “Patrol, patrol? Like what we saw last night?”

Tim grinned right back. “Gotham is different during the day, but yeah, same principle.”

Peter nodded. “Let me get my suit!”


	13. Of City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After completing the house tour, Tim and Duke bring Peter out to patrol. They have a great time. But why does everyone keep wanting to adopt Spiderman?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long, and I'm sorry! The very last scene just wouldn't flow for me. But it's done now! And I honestly really like it?
> 
> Shoutout to Melaina Shadow on Quotev for the Ridler cameo request! I really love how it turned out!
> 
> Also, happy belated Bi Visibility Day! There's some BirdFlash AND Joyfire in here to celebrate (Let me know what you thought of it? First time writing these ships). Plus a dash of TimKon!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this fic, guys! Comments and Kudos give me life!
> 
> ~ chapter is un-edited, my editor/sister is out of town and w/o wifi. I'll be edited in a few days when she gets back ~

Peter grabbed his suit from his room, and they went in search of Bruce. They found him in the cave, working on paperwork.

“Stay here,” Tim said, looking back at his brother and friend. “I have B wrapped around my finger. I’ll get us permission.” 

Duke looked sceptical, but Tim shrugged it off. He walked forward and into the cave.

“Hey B, what’s up?” Tim asked, leaning casually against the Batcomputer.

“No.”

Tim frowned. “What?”

“Whatever it is you want, no.”

“Why?” Tim asked, not bothering to deny that he wanted something. “You won’t even hear what it is?”

Bruce sighed and turned from his work. “Timothy Jackson Drake,” he said seriously, and Tim internally cringed, “I will not give you what you want. The last time that happened, I had to make several unpleasant phone calls to our PR managers  _ and _ lawyers regarding yours and Dick’s antics involving squirt guns.”

Tim frowned. “That was three months ago.”

Bruce grunted and turned back to his work. Great, there was no hope. Not even Dick could get Bruce to change his mind when he did _ that _ grunt. Maybe Cass. But she was the favorite.

Tim perked up and turned away to hide his growing smirk. He walked back to Duke and Peter.

“You get it?” Peter asked, looking at Tim’s grin.

Tim shook his head, then looked to Duke. “You’re up. He remembers the Jo-hassi incident.” Duke cringed at the mention, and Tim continued. “Try to play up the innocent favorite act, will you?”

Duke tilted his head. “Cass is the favorite.” 

“Yeah,” Tim said, “but you’re the second favorite. The supposedly sane one.”

Duke began to smile. “I’ll be right back.” He said as he turned and approached Bruce.

Tim motioned for Peter to follow him, and the pair snuck up, trying to listen in. Duke seemed to have engaged the Dark Knight in small talk. A feat in and of itself

“Hey, B?” Duke asked, after a while, “Could I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” Bruce said, but turned to look at Duke.

Duke shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“Oh, he’s good.” Peter whispered, looking on with wide eyes.

“I know right?” Tim replied, “And half of it’s not even acting!”

“I’m about to head out for patrol, and I was wondering if Peter and Tim could join me. Before you ask, Tim slept for like four hours last night, and Peter patrols New York.”

Bruce sighed. “Fine. Just don’t get anyone killed. And if you see Ridler, could you take him in?”

Duke grinned. “Sure, Bruce! See you later!”

Duke turned and headed to where he stored his equipment, nodding to where Tim and Peter had been hiding. “Let’s get ready,” He said.   
  


*****

Ten minutes later Duke was getting on his bike, while Tim grabbed the keys for his and Peter’s bikes. He ran back and tossed one to Peter. “Your’s is right there. You can keep it, so no worries if any wrecks happen.”

Peter’s eyes were wide. “You’re letting me have a motorcycle? How’d you convince Mr. Wayne?”

Duke laughed. “You remember those shops?” He asked, and Peter nodded. “This is Tim’s.”

Peter blinked. “You sell motorcycles to your siblings?”

Tim shook his head. “Naw, though they would definitely sell, with how often we crash these things. I sell copies of keys.”

Peter frowned. “Just keys?”

Tim nodded. “Not just any keys. I sell copies for every single piece of heavy machinery Bruce owns. From the batmobile right down to the batsub.”

“Oh,” Peter said, glancing around the cave then back to the keys in his hand. 

“Well let’s head out!” Tim announced, situating his cape so that he wouldn’t get pulled into the wheels. Gosh, sometimes Dick and Duke were lucky.

*****   
  
  


Three hours later, Tim was rethinking patrolling at night. Honestly, Duke had the right thought when he decided to leave the dark gloomy patrols for the only slightly less gloomy ones. The people seemed nicer (for gothamites, of course), and he could see where he was swinging. 

“Liking what you see?” 

TIm turned from where he was  sulking pondering beside a gargoyle, finding Duke climbing up from where he and Peter had dropped down to deal with a robbery. “Yup. Gotham is kinda decent during the day. I see why you like it.”

Duke grinned. “Oh no, what will Bruce think? One of his night-stalkers turning to the bright side?”

Tim shook his head, chuckling. “I haven’t decided anything yet, and you know it. I might join you out here more often, though.”

“Better you than Jason,” Duke cringed, “He tried to hang out with me on patrol a few times. Something about me being the only decent company. He complained every second of it and shot five civilians. Apparently, not everyone outside is a criminal!”

“Well these ones certainly were!” Peter shot up, having launched himself with his - brilliant! - webs. “Do I just leave them hanging?”

Tim grinned. “Yup! And feel free to leave a note, the cops love that!”

Peter nodded solemnly. “Just like back in New York. Gosh, I honestly forgot how much I missed this.”

“Good thing,” Duke said, raising a hand to his comm, “Cause we just got a Ridler sighting. How do you guys feel about taking care of a super villain?”

*****

“So what’s the deal with this Ridler guy?” Peter asked, looking through the binoculars Tim had handed him.

“Edward Nygma. He says riddles,” Duke replied, “that’s honestly pretty much it. He’s honestly pretty chill. Doesn’t kill anyone. Tries to steal money, sure, but he really just likes testing his riddles against Batman.”

“It’s like a game they have,” Tim added, “He breaks out of Arkham purely to try out new riddles. Most of them are pretty easy, but don’t let that fool you. He’s already guessed our identities.”

“Didn’t you do that?” Duke asked, grinning.

Tim rolled his eyes. “Well, yes, but you can’t underestimate Ridler. He’s dangerous.”

“You’re literally the only one who thinks that.”

“Because I’m the smart Robin! And I’m right.”

“He came to Dick’s birthday party and gave him his own version of the Riddler suit.”

Tim didn’t have a response to that, turning instead to inspect the warehouse. Peter looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Sooooo … what’s the Riddler suit?”

Duke laughed. “He used to wear this obnoxious lime green skin tight unitard with glittery question marks. He switched over a while back to an actually snappy green and purple suit. But that OG costume … it was something.”

Peter started to smirk. “Think he still has it?”

Tim grinned and looked over. “Oh, he has it framed. When we go in, let’s see if he’ll show us!”

*****

Tim was having the time of his life. Duke had instructed them to head through the side windows, and boy was he milking that entrance to best of his abilities! The screams from Riddler’s men were instantaneous as the glass shattered, and Tim used that distraction to take out those closest to him. Out of the corners of his eyes he could see Peter and Duke doing the same.

“Riddle me this,” Nigma called from his green throne. “ I am something people love or hate. I change peoples appearances and thoughts. If a person takes care of themselves I will go up even higher. To some people I will fool them. To others I am a mystery. Some people might want to try and hide me but I will show. No matter how hard people try I will Never go down. What am I?”

Tim sighed and took out another henchman. “Age, Riddler. Got anything harder?”

The Riddler laughed, looking out on his now moistly defeated army. “Not flying solo today Signal? Aren’t the days usually yours? HOw about a special one just for you: It can't be seen, can't be felt, can't be heard, and can't be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, Ends life, and kills laughter. What is it?”

Duke sighed, ramming and escrima stick on a woman’s head. “The dark. Ha ha. And nope, Red and I are showing our friend around Gotham giving him the sights and such.”

“I’m your friendly neighborhood Spiderman!” Peter called swinging around to take down two more thugs.

Edward cringed slightly, watching Peter jump around like a hyper nine year old. “You are a bouncy one, aren’t you?”

Tim sidled up to the throne of green encyclopedias. “You’ll love him, trust me.”

Riddler sighed and watched him. “Why is he so happy?”

TIm shrugged. “He’s not from Gotham, Eddie.”

“Oh, I can very well tell that.” 

Duke grinned and took out another thug. “Gonna share with the class?”

“What is it that given one, you'll have either two or none?”

Duke sighed and sent out his lines to the support beams under the roof, pelling him around in a large arc. “A choice?”

Riddler smiled. “Good, good! This is fun isn’t it?”

Just then Peter finished knocking his guys out and swung over to the throne in a split second. He bounced on the balls of his feet, and extended his hand to Riddler. “Hiya, Riddler sir! I’m Spiderman! I’m from another universe - do ya know the multiverse theory? Well, anyway, I’m hanging around Gotham for the week, so it’s really nice to meet some locals who aren’t vigilantes! Well, I met Poison Ivy? Eh, I heard you’re cool. Did you really frame your first suit? Do you happen to have it around here? I heard it looks like something different! Also, is it true that you really only just want people to answer riddles? Why don’t you get hired by a newspaper and do daily brain teasers? Or start your own radio show? I don’t know about you, but I would definitely listen! Or maybe write a book?”

Edward took Peter's hand, a thoughtful look on his face. “I’m adopting you.” He turned to Duke and Peter. “He’s mine now.”

Peter frowned. “I’m not sure Mr. Stark would like that …”

Edward nodded. “I can take care of him, don’t worry.”

Peter’s look became concerned. “Uuuum …”

Nygma sighed. “Why does everyone else get all the good ones? I want my own chicken nugget.”

“I’m not a chicken nugget!” Peter said, indignant, though he was trying to hold back a smile.

Duke, Tim, and Edward gave him an unimpressed look.

“Own it, Spidey,” Duke said, nodding sagely, “own it.”

*****

“Are you sure you need to take me in?” Edward said as the cops loaded him into the car. “I didn’t actually break any laws.”

Duke shook his head. “Bats’ orders, Riddler.”

The man sighed as the car pulled away, and he was sent back to Arkham.

“Thank you, Signal, Red Robin, and …?” Commissioner Gordan stood next to his car, frowning at Peter.

“I’m Spiderman!” Peter said cheerily sticking out his hand. 

Gordon eyed it suspiciously. “Why are you so happy?”

Peter tilted his head. “Not sure. Signal says it’s cause I haven’t soaked up Gotham yet.”

Gordon nodded, but before he could say anything, all three of the vigilantes got a sudden noise in their ear. “Yo, trio of terror, you got a bank robbery on Hudson and Gold streets. Better get over there.”

“Affirmative, Oracle,” Duke said. He nodded to the commissioner before tapping a command on his computer. “Gotta go, Comish. Bank robbery.”

All three of the bikes pulled up and they got on. “Good luck,” Gordon called after them.

*****

“Uuuuh,” Tim said, looking at the sight before him, “I don’t think we’re needed here.”

The bank was smoking, sure, but most of the robbers were outside in front of the door, tied up. Two more were being dragged out by their ears, thoroughly unconscious. 

Duke grinned, seeing who was doing said pulling. “Nope! Let’s go say hi!”

All three of them jumped down and approached the woman who was doing said dragging. Her skin was bleached white, a stark contrast to her red and black outfit, and her blonde hair dyed pink and blue at the tips of her pigtails.

“Hey auntie Harls,” Tim called.

Harley Quinn perked up and dropped the goon’s ears. “Hiya munchkins! Didn’t expect to see ya ‘round here. Signal, I thought you patrolled alone? Isn’t it too bright for some bats?”

Duke nodded. “Yeah, but Red Robin and I are showing our friend around. He’s one of the dimension travellers. Pam told you, right?”

Harley’s grin didn’t let up. “Sure did!” She said, and bounced over. She pinched Peter’s cheekd through his mask. “Well aren’t you a cutie!”

Peter shrugged, bouncing on his heels slightly. “Um, thank you ma’am?” A smile was apparent in his voice.

Harley nodded in approval towards Tim and Duke. “And polite to top it off! I like this one.” She turned back to Peter and released his face, opting instead to extend her hand. “Harley Quinn, nice to meet ya! I’m the bat’s aunt. You met Ivy, right? She’s my girlfriend.”

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Yup! She’s so cool!”

Harley bounced in excitement. “Ya like Pammy? And you seem cheerful in Gotham? Oh, you’re a keeper! It is my own medical opinion of course.”

“Medical opinion?” Peter asked.

“I was a psychiatrist. Then I went insane and got dumped into a vat of acid by my ex.” She spoke with her ever present smile, and Tim held back a laugh at Peter’s body language. Oh, this was too much fun!

“Uuh,” Peter said, unsure of what to say.

“Oooh!” Harley said suddenly, tapping her lip. “I almost forgot! You gotta meet my babies!” Harley let out a sharp whistle, and Tim cringed at the sudden appearance of Harley’s hyenas. Lou carried Harley’s baseball bat.

“Munchkin, I’d like you to meet my babies: Bud and Lou! Don’t worry, they aren’t hungry.”

Both animals cackled, and Harley took a step to the side. The hyenas prowled closer to the brightly colored vigilante, and Tim was suddenly  _ very _ glad not to be at the center of his aunt’s attention.

Peter’s lenses widened, and he seemed to be resisting the urge to run. When both of the large beasts were rubbing up against him, they sat down and started licking their paws. Halery jumped up and down in excitement.

“They like you! Goody! I gotta call Pam, we just got ourselves a kid!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Peter said. “What?”

Harley smiled indulgently. “Bud and Lou liked ya, so we’re adopting you. Ya seem sweet, hun, so Batsy clearly hasn’t corrupted you yet. It’s really for your own good.”

“Yeah, you might wanna hold off on that,” Duke said, “Riddler’s already staked a claim. Plus he kinda has his own dad back at the manor. We’re sending them all back at the end of the week.”

Harley pouted, but Peter looked confused. “My dad is dead?”

Harley perked up again, but Duke replied. “What about Stark?”

Peter tilted his head and hunched his shoulders. “Naw, he’s not my dad. Just a mentor.”

Tim and Duke gave him a look. “Sure, Spidey,” Tim said, unimpressed.

“Either way,” Harley said, retrieving her bat and swinging it up onto her shoulder, “people are always disappearing! What’s one more?”

Peter took a step back, and Duke cringed. “Hey, Harley?”

“Yup, lollipop?”

“You might want to hold off on murdering anyone. They’re under B’s protection.”

Harley sighed and scratched Lou behind the ear. “Fine, I’ll wait a bit.” Her eyes widened, “oh, I know! I’ll stop by for dinner. Stake out the competition. See ya, cuties!”

And with that, the anti-hero skipped off, followed by her pets.

“Should I be worried?” Peter asked.

Duke and Tim answered in unison: “Yes.”

*****

“Just up here,” Duke said, pointed to a small cafe a block ahead of them. Patrol was mostly over, so they decided to stop for some food. Duke had immediately proclaimed that they were heading to his favorite cafe in Gotham.

They all parked their bikes, and walked into the cafe, being led by Duke.

“Hey, Jerry.” He said, strolling up to the front. “Could I get a medium iced oolong, an extra-large black coffee, and …” he looked to Peter, “Hey spidey, what do you want to drink?”

Peter glanced up at the menu. “Green tea. Iced, please.”

Jerry nodded and tapped on his screen before looking back to Duke. 

“Oh,” Duke said, “And three croissants.”

Tim laughed, “Gosh, B would have a heart attack if he heard about the amount of calories we’re having.”

“He can’t talk,” Duke replied, “we all know he’ll stop for ice cream after patrol with Robin. Has will all of us.”

Tim shook his head. Duke was right. Some of his best memories as Robin were the late night stops for ice cream. The tradition had begun with Dick, and Bruce hadn’t been able to stop.

“Will that be all, Mr. Signal?” Jerry asked, looking back and forth between the two vigilantes, clearly not used to seeing more than The Signal out during the day.

“Yup,” Duke replied, and paid for the food with the cash every bat carried on them at all times (Bruce had started off with a credit card, but stopped because 1, it could be traced by a high level hacker, and 2, Dick insisted on calling it the Bat Credit Card. Enough said.).

Once the food and drinks were ready, the trio took to the rooftops. They wandered around for a while, looking for crime, but it was mostly silent. They ended up chilling in the Narrows, at Duke’s favorite gargoyle.

“How many of these things are there?” Peter demanded, doing a handstand atop said gargoyle.

Tim laughed, sitting on the edge of the building. “A few hundred? Hard to keep track, seeing as they’re always being broken and replaced.”

Duke sighed, taking a bite of his croissant. “The city’s literally called GOTH-am. More gargoyles than people just come with the territory.”

Peter frowned - he had taken off his mask to eat and drink - and sat beside them. “But aren’t you worried they’ll come alive and attack people?”

Tim burst out laughing, Duke right along with him.

“What?” Peter demanded.

“It - it’s already happened.” Duke choked out.

“Back when I was still Robin,” Tim added. “Some sorcerer intent on destroying the city, or something. We had to call in the Justice League due to the sheer number of them.”

Duke laughed again. “Me and my parents stayed in the basement for the whole day. It was terrifying.”

“More like annoying,” Tim contradicted, “It took forever to put them all back. I actually lost my favorite one for a week! Bruce prioritized  _ his _ favorites - not that he’ll admit it - so he got his brood time in and I was stuck on the angel statues.”

“Do all of you have favorite gargoyles?” Peter asked.

“Yup.” The pair of bats answered in unison.

“Comes with the territory,” Tim added.

“Yo boys,” Everyone was at attention when Oracle spoke over the comms, “The city’s clear. You can head back when you’re ready. Probably sooner than later, though. Robin managed to convince Alfred to make falafel for dinner.”

Tim perked up. Alfed had been making an effort to make more middle eastern foods for Damian, and falafel was definitely Tim’s favorite.

“Affirmative, Oracle,” Duke replied over the comms, also eager.

“Is the falafel good?” Peter asked.

“The best,” Tim replied.

*****

The cave was mostly empty when the trio returned from patrol. Only Bruce was there, getting ready for some league meeting.

“Good patrol?” He asked, when they had gotten unsuited.

“Yup,” Duke replied. “I’ll make a report later. Caught Riddler, but nothing too major. Saw Harley too.”

Bruce sighed. “Was she vandalizing anything?”

“Nope,” Duke replied, “Just stopping a robbery. She promised to stop by later.”

Bruce grunted, clearly not excited. Tim could relate. Harley had an odd habit of teaming up with one bat or another and wreaking havoc. It was only fun when she was on your side.

“We’re heading up,” Tim said, going to the elevator intranet on retrieving some falafel.

“Kitchen’s off limits,” Bruce replied. “Jay already tried to use Kory to get some falafel. Alfed’s banned everyone.”

“S***!” Tim cursed.

“Language,” Bruce called lazily, and Peter did a double take. 

“Did he just call you out for swearing?” Peter asked, eyes wide.

Duke grinned and joined the parade out of the cave. “Yup,” Tim replied as his brother joined them. “He’s like a grumpy grandpa.”

Peter shook his head. “Steve’s the grandpa of our group.” He said slowly.

“Pardon?” Duke asked, and Peter shook his head.

“Nothing. Wanna go see what the others are doing?”

*****

“Hey Middle-D, Timbo, Petey!”

The three teens had gravitated to a living room where some of the Waynes were hanging out with guests, after failing to enter the kitchen. Dick was chilling on a loveseat, Wally West lying across his lap. Jason was on another sofa, Roy Harper and Koriand’r on either side of him. Babs and Selina were over by a coffee table playing uno with Colin Wilkes, Aunt Kate, and Aunt Pam.

Tim nodded to his brother then turned to Peter, intent on introducing people before shenanigans began. “You remember Kate, right?” Peter nodded, so Tim continued. “That’s Colin Wilkes over there next to her, he’s one of Damian’s friends. Then over there is the other Flash, Wally West-”

“Dick’s best friend!” Wally cut in.

Tim looked skeptically at the hand Dick had woven into the speedster’s hair. The same speedster that was sprawled across his lap.

“Yeah …  _ friends _ .” Tim turned to the outlaws, but Jason was glaring daggers at him. Ah, better tread carefully. “Roy Harper and Koriand’r. Arsenal and Starfire. Jason’s partners in crime.”  _ Among other things _ , he mentally added with a smirk.

Peter nodded in understanding, while Duke collapsed on a chair. The latter groaned.

“Rough patrol?” Roy asked.

Duke shook his head. “Nope. Just thinking about the crushing weight of reality. Being Bruce’s second favorite does  _ not _ mean Alfred let’s me have falafel.”

Tim groaned along with him, and fell onto the rug. “I thought Alfie loved us.” He grumbled.

Dick laughed. “Yeah, same happened for us. But at least we’ll all get some for dinner?”

Simultaneously every single one of the room’s occupants (except Peter) turned to look at the acrobat.

“No.” Kate spoke strongly, “that’s not how it works, Dick.”

“It’s about the principle,” Babs added.

“Come on, dude,” Roy said. “Even I know this.”

Dick pouted. “But there’s no use trying. Alfred has that kitchen locked up tighter than Fort Knox.”

Selina smirked. “Well, I thought Fort Knox was pretty easy.”

Suddenly everyone perked up. “Hey, Selina?” Tim asked, hope flowing through his veins. “Do you think you could give the kitchen a try?”

Selina’s smirk broadened into a full out grin. She rose from her seat, grabbing a whip hanging over a couch. “Let’s get started. Jay, you and Duke are on distraction. Roy, Kory, and Peter are on secondary distraction. Colin, you’re needed for puppy dog eyes. Same with Dick. Tim, you’re with me.”

Tim jumped up eagerly. “YES!” He whooped, everyone else joining in.

Suddenly the door banged open, leaving an out of breath Stephanie Brown standing dramatically in it. “Damian,” she began, “just challenged Cass to a duel.”

*****

The response was immediate. Everyone stood at attention, but only Selina, Duke, Kate, Jason, Peter, and Tim ran after the blonde terror. Apparently, Uno was more important than a cage match between child assassins.

Upon entering one of the living rooms, Tim grinned. Cassandra and Damian were face to face, glaring daggers at each other. Clint, Natasha, Banner, and Thor stood to the side, their expressions ranging from worried to terrified.

“Alright, alright!” Selina said, “Calm down people.”

“Kyle, you are in no position to cease this dispute.” Damian didn’t look away from Cass, but his words were sharp.

Selina just laughed. “Damian, I am not Bruce. But you do know that there are rules to be followed when it comes to dueling in this household.”

Tim smirked when Selina looked expectantly to him. He grabbed his phone and worked on it for a few long seconds. When he was done, Ten Duel Commandments began to blast from the bluetooth speakers around the room.

“Aw, come on Tim!” Jason exclaimed. “You know that these aren’t the official rules!” He pointed to a blackboard covered in Alfred’s perfect cursive.

“Yeah, but those are boring.” Duke said. “Hamilton for the win.” Tim and Duke fist bumped.

Jason sighed and sat on a couch. Once the song was over, he spoke. “Can we get this thing going? I wanna see some carnage.”

Damian and Cass glared at him, but each retreated to opposite sides of the room, which were stacked with pillows. Selina went to stand between them. “Ready … Set …” Selina cracked her whip. “GO!”

The battle was instantaneous! Damian launched three throw pillows (No pun intended) at his sister, who responded with a couch cushion. As blows were exchanged, everyone leaned in.

This turned out to be a bad idea. Specifically for Stephanie Brown. Cassandra was able to use Stephanie’s bent for to launch herself up onto the room’s molding just in time to escape one of Damian’s pillows. The same pillow, which hit Steph square in the face.

All was silent. 

All was still.

All turned slowly to look at Stephanie.

“You,” the blonde teeen began slowly, “Are. Going.  _ Down _ .”

Stephanie grabbed the pillow that had afflicted her self-proclaimed glorious face and sent it in a deadly arc towards the former assassin. Within moments, everything devolved into chaos.

“ALL SHALL SUFFER BY MY HA-” Kate proclaimed from atop the fireplace mantle before Tim rammed a pillow into her shin, bringing his aunt crashing utop him.

_ Uh-oh, _ he thought as he looked at the mess around the room,  _ Alfred’s not going to be happy. _

_ ***** _

Tim kept glancing at Duke across the dining room. After what had just gone down with Tony Stark, he was much more wary of the teen, who apparently had a machiavellian streak. Sure, he knew Duke wasn’t really the sane one of the family - that honor went straight to Leslie Thompkins, and you couldn’t change his mind - but sometimes the guy scared him.

He didn’t have long to think about it, though, as Cass was leaning over and whispering into his ear. “Need you later.”

Tim frowned. “Why?”

Cass narrowed her eyes, daring TIm to say no. A moment later, she softened slightly. “Payback.”

Tim cringed internally. Great, the manor would be home to yet another civil war. Why was it always the assassins who wanted carnage?

“But seriously,” Jason was saying, “Haunted by Redheads?”

Tony glared. “I’m on a strange parallel earth. How was I supposed to know ghosts don’t exist here!”

“Oh they most certainly do, Stark.” Damian’s smirk was vicious, and Tony visibly gulped. Huh, sometimes Tiom really liked that kid. Stark’s face was priceless.

“But Redheads?” Jason insisted, taking some pasta and putting it on his plate before passing it to Kory.

Tony shook his head. “They were everywhere I looked!”

There were several snorts at this. Jason smirked. “Story of Dick’s life.”

Bruce groaned, while everyone else chuckled. Tim had to hide a grin behind his napkin.

Dick choked on his pasta. “Excuse me?” He demanded, his voice shrill. “What do you mean?! That’s not true!”

Jason leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Please raise your hand if you have ever, past or present, at any point, been in a relationship with one Richard John Grayson.”

Simultaneously, Roy, Koriand’r, Barbara, and Wally raised their hands.

Dick was bright red - no pun intended. “Hey!” he said. “That’s not fair!”

“It really is, darling,” Selina said, reaching around Wally to pat Dick’s shoulder. It would have been profoundly comforting if the woman hadn’t had a humorous glint in her eye.

“Well … well I’m not the only one!” Dick said, glaring at Jason. “Please raise your hand if you have ever, past or present, at any point, been in a relationship with one Jason Peter Tood.”

Roy and Kory smirked at each other before raising their hands. 

“HAH!” Dick crowded in triumph, pointing at Jason. “HAH!”

“That’s still half as many as you!” Jason said, glaring.

“Aren’t we forgetting Artemis?” Tim piped up innocently. “She’s an amazon with red hair, right?”

Everyone slowly turned to Tim. Jason looked furious. Dick looked overjoyed. The Avengers looked confused. Selina, Pam, Babs, Kate, Damian, Duke, and Steph looked amused. Bruce looked like he wanted to outlaw all dating for ever and ever. Roy looked slightly annoyed at the mention of Jason’s ex. Kory looked serene. Wally looked worried. Cass looked silently resigned to her brother’s idiocy. Alfred just looked british.

“Say,” Jason began slowly, “what about you, Timbo? Got any red headed secrets?” 

Tim squawked. “Hey! Kon has black hair!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dick has a thing for Redheads. Jason has a thing for Redheads. It's contagious.


	14. Warzone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just then, Cass spotted something that made her eyes widen in joy. Jason stood atop the wreckage of what used to be the East Wing’s Zebra Couch, shirtless and covered in war paint, holding two ginormous nerf guns, waving them about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PSA](https://s3.scoopwhoop.com/shon/no/1.gif)

Cassandra sighed as she looked over the destruction below her. The smoking craters, the upturned benches, and the loose glitter that promised Alfred an aneurysm. Or a month-long vacation. The West Wing’s Ballroom had become a warzone only fifteen minutes prior, but those fifteen minutes had proven detrimental. At first, furniture had been brought in from other rooms as cover. Then the incendiary devices had been utilized. Then Stephanie happened.

“Are you sure we’ll make it out alive?”

Cass glanced to her right to see her lieutenant Clint Barton standing beside her, his hand on the railing of the balcony. He looked out over the chaos, his face filled with a mixture of awe, and fear.

But his body told much more than that. She read him, and found a swirling sea of excitement, trepidation, hesitation, determination, anticipation, and contemplation. He was weighing everything saw, not casting aside details. Yes, Cass had made a good choice in picking him.

She looked across the ballroom, and just through the golden tangle of the chandelier, could make out the far balcony. It was shrouded with curtains - much like her own - but she knew her adversaries lurked in the darkness. There, Damian and Natasha were plotting her defeat.

“We’ll live.” she decided, a nod accompanying the movements. “And win too.” She tilted her head in consideration, and Clint grinned.

“No more playing nice?” he signed.

Cass had to admit, she enjoyed signing with him . It was nice to know someone who had similar complications with spoken words. Sure, she had worked incredibly hard to get where she was in her vocal skill. And she didn’t want to overlook that. But for now, she could indulge in signing.

“Yes,” she signed back, and the pair looked back over at their troops.

“Is it working?” Clint asked, “Is all going according to your very secret plan?”

Cass considered. Her stealth operative seemed to be doing well. So did her other team members, though she looked back down to check. Down where Kate and Ivy were throwing hands, Tim swept the leg of Wally, others were engaged in various sparring, and Dick ran around on all fours whilst foaming at the mouth.

“Yes.” she said firmly and a touch satisfied. “All is going well.”

*****

Alfred Pennyworth sat in his favorite chair, in his favorite drawing room - the one with lake foam green furnishings and that lovely Achilles statuette - sipping his favorite brew of tea from his favorite tea set, and reading his favorite Agatha Christie novel - Murder at the Vicaridge.

It was a rare peace, one he cherished greatly. He had little time in the day for himself, and usually what he did have fell to early mornings before anyone was up. (Well, Master Duke would be. But that boy, Alfred was proud to say, was very independent.)

Except times like these. These stolen minutes in the afternoon, when the children were off entertaining themselves, and Master Bruce busied himself with work, and there were no chores left to be completed. These moments when Alfred brewed himself his special blend of tea, and retrieved a book from the library. When he chose a place, and promised himself he wouldn’t move until he finished his pot. Or there was an emergency.

Of course it was at that moment, just as Alfred lifted the cup with pristine elegance to his lips, that the doorbell rang. The old, regal sound echoed just loud enough so that he was able to hear it.

Alfred sighed, but set aside his cup. There was a guest at the door, and it was his duty to answer the door. He did not trust any of the children - no matter how much Master Dick pouted, or Miss Cassandra gave him wide, confused eyes.

No, he was the only one who could answer the door to the mystery visitor.

*****

The sounds of hard fighting were in the background as Cass studied the War Map laid out on the carpet. She ignored the ketchup - well, Jason had promised it was ketchup - stained in the corners and began to plot out where she would send out her stealth unit next.

“Duke is looking vulnerable,” Clint suggested, pointing to the bumblebee sticker they had chosen to represent the day shift.

Cass considered, but decided against it. For one, she and Duke were on good terms at the moment, and attacking him might damage that. And for another, he was currently on Damian’s side of the ballroom. She didn’t doubt her operative’s skill, but it might be a bit much. Plus, Damian might respond with twice as much force.

Looking at the War Map with renewed vigor, she bit her lip. After a moment, a slow smile spread across her face. She pointed to the rose sticker, and Clint smiled right back.

He lifted up a walkie talkie to his mouth, and uttered a single word: “Ivy.”

Cass nodded, this was the best possible choice out of the circumstances. Pamela was on the very edge of the split between territories, using a potted succulent to attack those who tried to cross the border. Cassandra might have had an infinite amount of love and respect for her aunt, but she knew an impassable opportunity when she saw it.

Suddenly, there was a shriek from the battle below, and both Cassandra and Clint jumped to attention. They made their way quickly to the edge of a balcony, and looked out.

There, in the center of the room, was a thick cloud of smoke. No … not smoke.

Black Glitter.

Cass watched, enraptured, as the sounds of an intense struggle emerged from the dark, sparkly depths. Once or twice, Cass thought she saw a limb strike out through the blackness, cutting through the cloud. But nothing escaped.

Then, suddenly and without warning, the glitter dissipated. It took a second or two before you could see through it, but it was gone, Cass smirked. There, in a limp pile of the floor, was her aunt Pam. The small succulent was balanced precariously on her head. Cass’ operative was gone.

“Good job, Steph.” Cass whispered.

Clint chuckled, “wow, I was not expecting that.”

Cassandra nodded. “No one suspects Stephanie.”

****

Alfred was walking down a corridor filled with photos and documents of the children’s achievements. He always enjoyed going this way, and seeing the small pieces of happiness from years past.

There was a photo of Master Dick at his Gotham Academy Graduation. Master Jason’s first report card was on the wall, all A’s and A+’s. There was Master Tim’s first day as CEO of Wayne Enterprises captured in another photograph. A pamphlet of Miss Cassandra’s first dance recital. Miss Stephanie’s acceptance letter to Gotham University was up there, proving yet again how Bruce saw her as his own child. One of Master Damian’s mementos was a beautiful charcoal drawing he had done of a Robin in its nest. Master Duke had a picture taken from a poetry slam Master Bruce had accompanied him to, along with his winning poem. Miss Harper had the blueprints for a cheap yet effective taser she had designed and submitted to a Wayne Enterprises competition to create non-lethal self defense weapons for the less privileged of Gotham. Master Cullen had a photo of his last birthday, where he had received his own miniature version of Oracle’s set up. The photo took place hours after he had received the gift, already hard at work programming his own touches; Alfred wasn’t sure if the boy had even noticed the photo was being taken.

There were mementoes of others, in the hall, not just Bruce’s children. Alfred spotted Kate in her uniform, when she was headed off to join the military. There was a newspaper clipping of Bette’s Tennis wins. A photo of Jean-Paul volunteering at Dr. Thompkins’ clinic. Another of Lucas during a presentation of Fox Industries.

Alfred’s heart warmed at the sight of each old memory, yet something was nagging at his mind. Who on earth could be at the door? All of the normal visitors weren’t in Gotham at the moment, and Vicki Vale never used the door. The League members used the cave. And Business associates always used Wayne Tower.

Whoever it was, Alfred assured himself that it wouldn’t be a problem. It was just an innocent guest, after all. And if they were unscrupulous? Well, Alfred always kept a shotgun handy.

*****

Something was in the air, and Cass could tell. She wasn’t quite sure when it had started, perhaps a few minutes ago; right before they had activated Steph. Whatever it was, Cassandra didn’t like it.

She looked across the room to Damian’s base, trying to figure out what he was thinking. If only she could see him. But the curtains obscured her vision.

So Cassandra made herself busy by picking apart the coverage, searching for a weak point. She picked apart which deep velvet curtains Alfred had set there earlier that week, then separated them from the dark lavender that were clearly from the spring collection. (Cass shook her head - didn’t Damian have taste?) The ever so slightly less-clashing rich violet put her mind at ease, as they went reasonably well, along with the pillows stacked along the edges like turrets. Their metallic tassels added quite the touch, she had to admit. Although that one along the right side was a bit too outward point-

Wait a minute. That wasn’t a tassel.

“Down!” Cass cried desperately, yanking Clint to the side behind their own curtains.

“What?” Clint spluttered, trying to stand up.

“No,” Cass hissed, then pointed out through a creatively placed gap in the folds of the thick fabric. “Watch.”

And so they did, peering out of the thin crack of light. They didn’t have to wait long.

Suddenly, a metallic TWANG sounded over the din of chaos, and the small silvery object shot out of the crevice it had previously inhabited, revealing itself to be a long red arrow. Of the Arsenal variety.

Cassandra and Clint watched, enraptured, as the arrow expanded, and released several large, white, fluffy objects. They separated, and spread out across the ballroom.

“PILLOW ARROWS?! REALLY, HARPER?!”

Jason seemed to be the one hit the worst, with one pillow striking his forehead, and the other his chest.

There was a soft chuckle from the balcony.

“We are having a serious discussion about boundaries in this relationship!” Jason yelled, a bit less angry.

Even Cass had to giggle at that - and Jason was on her team!

But there wasn’t time to enjoy the hilarious sight before her. The fighting had dissolved yet again, but this time, it was really just a glorified pillow fight.

Roy had just supplied Cass’ team with enough ammunition to bring the fight to their side.

Cass slowly rose up from her spot, and looked towards the store of pillows in the far side of the balcony.

Clint followed her eyes to the pillow, and slowly grinned.

“You throw, I shoot?” He asked.

Cass nodded. “Ready, aim, fire.”

*****

Alfred frowned as he looked into a room where a few of the interdimensional visitors were lounging; Mr. Stark and Mr. Banner seemed to be engaged in a game of chess. Suddenly, an idea came to him.

“Pardon me,” He said, approaching the door silently, and the two men jumped in their seats, and Mr. Stark muttered something under his breath that sounded like ‘ninja butlers’.

Alfred tilted his head in question. “Do you happen to be aware of your companions’ locations?”

Mr. Banner frowned. “Yes, they're with the kids, I think? Something about battle simulation training?”

Alfred nodded and said his goodbyes before departing from the room. That was troubling for a number of reasons. First of all, ‘Battle Simulation Training’ almost always meant they were making a mess of the Manor. And that there was some sort of feud going on. Feuds never ended well in the household - no matter what Master Bruce or the children liked to believe.

Alfred remembered earlier just that very day, when he had seen young Master Roy throw a wild ferret which he had found outside at Master Dick. Alfred was still unsure as to whether the young man had been bitten or not.

Second of all, that disproved his theory that it was just one of the guests stuck outside - which happens quite often (He still doubted Master Bruce was telling the truth about the anti-speedster security system activating by accident when Mr. Allen was ten minutes late to a Justice League Meeting.)

Alfred really shouldn’t be bothering himself on such worries as to who the person at the front entrance of the Manor was. He would find out soon enough. Besides, no villain ever dared - if they were even aware of the Dark Knight’s identity - to use the front door, let alone ring the doorbell so politely.

And yet Alfred still felt his nerves on edge. A small part of him which had always kept him alive in the past was tingling at the moment, and he knew it would be unwise - to say the least - to ignore it.

No, whoever was there, Alfred was wise to be cautious. They might not necessarily be physically dangerous, but they would definitely be up to enough mischief to get Alfred’s instincts on edge.

He sighed aloud and kept walking down the hall, turned onto an access corridor which would deposit him just a few rooms down from the main foyer.

*****

Cassandra cackled with glee as she watched her enemies fall before her hand. Perhaps she should consider convincing Bruce to switch their batarang supply to just pillows - they were certainly a formidable weapon.

Clint also wasn’t disappointing. Cass had seen him work with the bow before, but it was a different experience to see her siblings and their guests look like squashed ants below her instruction.

So she might have been a bit mad on power. Everyone has their faults.

And yet despite their valiant effort, Damian’s team still managed to be pushing forward, encroaching on Cass’ territory. This just wouldn’t do.

“Give Steph permission to go out.” Cass muttered as she aimed a royal blue pillow at Peter Parker’s shoulder. Unfortunately, he seemed to be aware that the blow was coming, and dodged.

Cass growled at the sight. “Bug is the next target.”

Clint nodded and spoke into the walkie talkie, whilst Cass managed to briefly down Tim.

Just then, Cass spotted something that made her eyes widen in joy. Jason stood atop the wreckage of what used to be the East Wing’s Zebra Couch, shirtless and covered in war paint, holding two ginormous nerf guns, waving them about.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH” He cried like a man possessed, and launched himself at the resident bug boy.

Peter shrieked in fear, and tried to run, but Jason was just too good of a marksman. Shooting on either side of Peter, the boy had absolutely nowhere to dodge. He tried to launch himself up at one point, but Jason shot his webbing down. Then proceeded to shoot the adolescent himself. Multiple times.

Peter was a groaning heep on the floor and Jason came to stand over his body. He let loose some primordial War Cry, and beat his chest.

Cass grinned as she heard the shriek of Damian from his own balcony: “Get Todd!”

Roy made his second appearance, leaning out from behind the curtains, his bow at the ready. But Jason saw the threat quickly, and raised his nerf gun. Roy was quickly shot, and fell dramatically over the side and onto a mattress.

“BOOM! I GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-”

Suddenly, and without warning, a giant cracking sound sounded throughout the ballroom as a large vase crashed over Jason’s head, shattering upon impact. Jason froze, and his eyes rolled back in their head.

He fell over with a loud THWUMP, revealing a grinning Duke Thomas right behind him.

“Hehe, sorry Dude. But survival of the fittest, y’know?” When Jason didn’t respond, Duke’s eyes widened. “Oh no, are you alright? You don’t have a concussion, do you? Sh*t, if you do I’m so sorry. This might have been a bad choice. Maybe I shouldn’t have-”

Then Duke’s skull was met with its own vase - though this one was admittedly smaller than Jason’s - and he crumpled to the floor.

Stephanie Brown, no longer in stealth mode, stode behind him panting and grinning from the adrenaline. She raised her arms over her head, and cried: “NO REGRETS!!!!!” before running off to join the chaos yet again.

Cass grinned triumphantly at Clint, but she knew this was only a small victory. They were still down a man - and Dick, if you counted whatever on earth he was getting up to with his ‘crazed animal’ impression.

*****

Alfred was almost there, just a few turns away from the foyer. As he passed by, he noticed with a distinct disappointment that Master Damian must have been Teaching Master Duke how to throw knives again, as there were many nicks in the hardwood floor.

Not to mention an actual knife still impaled in the crown molding.

Oh well. At least they had a good relationship? Alfred sighed heavily. Though he was proud at how Master Damian had progressed socially, and how Master Duke was settling into the Manor well, he really did wish they would leave the poor old house - and in turn, his nerves - alone.

But he could do nothing now, as there was a guest waiting for him. The buffing and scolding would have to be set aside for a later appointment.

*****

Cass frowned at how the fight had gotten. Something was wrong. Something big.

“Why do you keep frowning like that?” Clint signed, before picking up another pillow to throw.

Cass shook her head, unable to fully articulate the feeling in her gut. This wasn’t something you could just explain. It was something else - some feral mix of instinct, training, experience, and just plain being a bat.

Clint shrugged and aimed a pillow at Peter, who was attempting to stand up from the devastating ordeal Jason had wrought. The kid went down again.

Cass bit her lip, as she inspected each of Damian’s fighters. It was as if they had all become aware of some singular role, some plan that they all were a part of. It was a unison among them that had not been there previously. In fact, they had only connected just a minute ago. Not very long in reality, but an eternity for Cassandra.

In a split second, everything changed. An electrical spark shot through the opposing side, subtle, but stark at the same time.

Cass squinted, and shot out a hand to pull Clint to her side. They wouldn’t be throwing anymore until she knew what was going on.

And then she did.

Colin Wilkes, who previously Cass had assumed was just hanging out with Alfred due to his lack of appearance, strolled out from the wide double door beneath Damian’s balcony. He grinned impishly, before transforming into Abuse.

Ah, Cass thought as she saw the previously minuscule boy toss her forces like a violent storm tossed a boat, this is Damian's plan.

But no … that couldn’t be it. Something was still wrong here. The tension was still present in the troupes. Instead of what should have been relief, or a rise in dedication, they were still waiting for something.

She didn’t like it.

“Darn,” Clint muttered, “So that’s what the kid meant when he said his friend was like a cooler version of the Hulk.”

Cass chuckled. Yes, Collin was way better than some big angry green guy.

Then she caught the sightline of Steve, who was a part of Damian’s side. Unlike the others, who were hiding their anticipation, he was outright staring.

He was staring at Cass.

In a fraction of a moment she knew, and fear filled her.

“What’s wro-”

Clint was choked off at the same time Cassandra whirled around to see Damian launching himself at her, intercepting her torso, and yanking her over the edge of the balcony.

*****

Alfred smiled at the small daffodils in the glass vase in one of the adjoining hallways, right by a piano room. He had remarked to Master Timothy the day before that he had been planning to change the flowers that filled the Manor, and it appeared the boy had done it for him.

Though as he looked closer, the very ends of the stems had thin black flecks on them. The darkest black. The black that could only be found on the Cave’s infinite supply of batarangs. Of course the boy had been too lazy to use the actual gardening scissors that Alfred kept around.

Well, it was the thought that counted, as they say. And if Alfred were being honest, it reminded him a bit of when Master Bruce had been a teenager. He had taken quite passionately to the ‘emo’ trend, and all his actions had followed thusly.

The butler was still weary at the thought that all the drapes suddenly changed to black out curtains.

Those were darker days in the household. There were no happy and laughing children running about. No pets running through the halls. No friends coming over for ice cream and games. Alfred was so very happy that they were over.

Speaking of guests, Alfred frowned as he rounded the corner and came to the main foyer of the Manor. He could not see the visitor through the large windows at either side of the door. But no matter, he would know when he opened the door to greet them.

******

The siblings tumbled through the air before landing atop a mattress set below the balcony. Though Cassandra appreciated the cushioning, she did not appreciate being thrown over in the first place.

The move Damian had taken sneaking up on Cass and Clint was smart, she had to admit. Damian wouldn’t win in an outright fight between them, so he had to resort to subterfuge. If Cass couldn’t see him, she wouldn’t be quite as able to fight him as effectively.

They rolled over the side of the mattress and began to wrestle. They had gotten out of the way just in time for Clint to come crashing down with Natasha. Ah, of course Damian would have his second in command with him.

“Face it, Cain!” Damian snapped. “I shall win this!”

Cass rolled her eyes, and continued to keep the pint sized Wayne at arm’s length.

Damian wouldn’t be winning anything.

*****

Alfred walked down the grand staircase, each step echoing in the large room. If he were being honest, Alfred would say he was lagging behind a touch. But it was pointless, anyway. The visitor would still be there no matter how fast he walked.

Never the less, the old butler picked up his pace, and approached the door.

*****

Damian snapped around, trying to land a blow, but Cass avoided them all. She had to admit that a small part of her was having fun; Damian really did look like a tiny kitten with anger issues when he went on the offense.

But she’d have to end this sooner or later. And she had no doubt that she could. Damian may have gotten the jump on her, but down here, her little brother was vulnerable.

Just one judo flip and he’d be down for the count.

*****

Just a few steps away, just a few steps from opening the wide Manor door, just a few steps away from quenching his curiosity.

It seemed so much more monumental than it should have.

*****

They were on the floor now, rolling over each other, trying to gain the advantage. With them so close, Cass had a touch of trouble finding out Damian’s next moves. Not that there was much of a point.

They were so close to finishing this.

*****

Alfred was so close to closing the gap. He paused, mere feet from the door, and extended his hand.

*****

Cass had finally gained the upper hand, literally. She was atop Damian now, pinning him down. She could vaguely hear the sounds of fighting going on around them, the fierce noises of trial by combat.

*****

Alfred resting his hand upon the doorknob, and twisted.

*****

In a split second, the fighting ceased, everyone in the ballroom freezing.

Cass and Damian stared into each other’s eyes.

“Oh.”

*****

The door swung open, and Alfred perceived the visitor for the first time.

“Hello, Alfred.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo … been a while hasn't it?
> 
> Really guys, I'm so sorry about the wait for this chapter. (Months?? Sheesh, I promised myself I wouldn't be *that* kind of author.) But I'm back! I hope you enjoyed this, a bit short, and more of a set up than anything. I'm going to be a bit slower at updating after this, due to lack of ideas and motivation - but I will be finishing this! Maybe five-ten more chapters? Not sure at this point.
> 
> By the way, I will be updating this probably closer to once a month from now on. I have so many other projects that I'm working on, so if you want more, please do check that out!
> 
> I also have my Tumblr: [@PepperSoniRoni!](https://peppersonironi.tumblr.com/)  
> And a Duke Thomas side blog I made: [@DukeOfGotham](https://dukeofgotham.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you for reading this, and a special thanks to [Bunker](https://bunkerbuilder37.tumblr.com/) my aweseome, fabulous, incredible, flawless, unlimitedly cool beta, and [Rand0mL0s3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rand0mL0s3r) who took a look at this chapter for me as well.
> 
> Also: I need a new title for this fic! This one is … a bit blatant? Plus, I'm going to be writing other Batfam/Avengers crossovers, so it doesn't quite make sense to keep using this one. Please place suggestions in the comments!
> 
> (Shout out to anyone who guesses what character I just brought in)
> 
> Cheers,
> 
> Pepper


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